Rebecca tries so hard to be good, but she's super bad at it.
Consider the title of this week’s episode, and then let’s all recall its opening scene: Rebecca is walking through a park, and a homeless woman asks if she has any change. Rebecca’s reply? “Oh, sorry, I only have twenties. I got them from working!” So yeah, maybe not a good person?
That opinion is further supported when we learn she’s in the park to meet Josh (who is still dating Valencia) to reminisce over a scrap book from summer camp. This girl will not quit. Who’s also at the park? Greg. Who has Rebecca not seen since she slept with another guy in the middle of their first date? Greg. Who’s mad about it? Greg. And angry Greg is fun. He knows Rebecca can be a terrible person, and he’s not afraid to tell her so. Josh, too! Josh, stop hanging out with other girls when you know it upsets your GF. Both of you, terrible! Greg, out.
Rebecca shows up at the office the next day with coffee and donuts for everyone, in what is a wildly transparent attempt to convince herself that she’s not a terrible and selfish person. Because throwing money at a problem is the only solution she can think of. She also buys all the chocolate bars from Darryl’s daughter’s baseball team, but Darryl is way too distracted to care. His messy divorce is getting messier by the day, and his wife is now going after full custody of his daughter.
Remember how, as early as episode 1, Rebecca refused Darryl’s request to represent him in divorce court? Well, no more! Now that she’s swimming in a pool of guilt, she’s going to help him — and while they’re out of the office saving Darryl’s personal life, Rebecca leaves Paula in charge. And Paula is quickly drunk with power.
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This episode shows Rebecca at her worst, really. She drags Darryl to Home Base to work on his case solely so Greg can see her being helpful. She doesn’t give a crap about Darryl and his daughter and their relationship (which he sweetly/creepily sings about in a country tune about a father’s love for his daughter), she cares only about what people — particularly Greg, this week — think about her.
Josh deals with his guilt about being a disaster of a human being in a more direct way: He goes to confession. As it turns out, the priest happens to be one of Josh’s bros, and they hit the basketball court for some real talk. When Josh admits to his bro-priest that he has feelings for Rebecca, he’s given an assignment: For 24 hours, write down all his sinful thoughts. The priest follows this instruction with a beautiful basket and shouts, “Nothing but net — and Christ!” And it is easily the best quote of the evening.
NEXT: Sexy mannequins and pop-star snails.
Rebecca meets Darryl’s daughter, Madison, who adores her father and has pet snails named after pop stars. (Iggy A-snail-ea, as an example.) Madison lets it leak that sometimes her mom leaves her home alone to go to a motel with her boss, a fact that quickly earns Darryl temporary custody of his daughter and a fact that Rebecca celebrates without considering the sad repercussions it has on the little girl. She still doesn’t give a crap about helping Madison. It’s all about Greg. She takes her victory to Home Base to rub it in Greg’s face, singing about how great a person she is while doing horrible things like ruining people’s personal property, choosing not to save someone who’s choking because she’s busy, and threatening a patron of Home Base with a knife.
But Greg, a complete voice of reason, is unimpressed that she got custody for Darryl. He cared about Rebecca, and he feels harmed by how she treated him. And she simply cannot grasp that his hatred of her is personal and not about how he sees her existing in the rest of the world. (She thinks he’s holding a grudge because she only got Darryl temporary custody, so she sets out to get him permanent custody, assuming that will win his forgiveness.) Even Madison, who is maybe 9 years old, can see that “she’s bananas.”
Josh, a nicer and dumber version of Rebecca, hands over his list of sins to his priest friend. Among them: He went to the mall and saw a sexy mannequin and wanted to have sex with it. There were plenty of thoughts on that list about Rebecca, too, but the priest crumples it up and says that God only cares about what you do, not what you think — but that’s not how people work. They care about what you think, how you feel about them, and how you treat them. It’s not as black-and-white as God, apparently.
Rebecca learns this from an unexpected source: Madison’s adulteress mother. When she catches Rebecca spying on her/planting money on her to get her in trouble with the law, she tells Rebecca that she’s doing her best and that she wants what’s best for Madison — she’s just not perfect. And all of a sudden, Rebecca sees the light of day and wants to help Darryl and his ex find a custody agreement without the help of a judge. Rebecca is actually helping now and actually not being terrible. Her motivations are finally pure and about finding the best solution for Madison — and nothing more.
Obviously, Greg witnesses this happy and kind exchange because this show is super tidy. “I can’t say you’re a good person, but I saw what you did for Darryl today, so I can say you’re a good friend,” Greg says. “Not to me — definitely not to me — but to other people that aren’t me.” Aw, these two will make it sooner or later. (Please be sooner.)
Josh summons Rebecca to the park to talk about what’s “going on” between them, and he owns up to being attracted to Rebecca — but adds that he loves Valencia and is planning on staying committed to her.
Guess which part of that sentence Rebecca doesn’t hear?