Cougar Town recap: Eat the Sword!
Welcome back to “not what the show is” Cougar Town! In “The Damage You’ve Done,” Ellie orchestrated a war between Jules and the one-time hookup-monster of Grayson & Laurie — seemingly just to stir up s— in the house! (It really is like a reality show at this point — they all pretty much live at Casa Cobb.) Ellie thought she deserved to watch a juicy scandal blow up, because she’d recently bought candy from an inner-city football team. Certainly that was reason enough.
After admitting that she had known Jules was into Grayson before she slept with him, Laurie spent the episode trying to prove her loyalty to Jules. I loved that this was serious stuff and could have potentially caused a permanent rift in their friendship — Laurie’s such a(n amazing) farce in general that we don’t usually see this side of her. She became a more fully realized character in this episode, and even if I don’t want serious Laurie all the time, you’ll never catch me complaining about that.
We all knew that the Laurie/Grayson sexytimes truly didn’t matter — to be honest, I’d forgotten they’d even done the deed. (Laurie had, too. “But you were there!” “Oh, right.”) But Jules needed some more convincing. Ellie’s machinations in the War of Harsh Truths — emphasized by fake yet complicated gunplay — led Jules to the conclusion that Laurie had never betrayed her trust to this degree. This was nothing like when she’d called her sneakers “squeakers.” I mean, that was annoying, but this was worse. In the end, Ellie caved. She’s a bitch, but she’s an honest bitch and had to admit, once her special powers had been turned against her, that Jules loved Laurie too much to drop her forever. It was good timing — an uncharacteristically tear-stricken Laurie needed a big hug from The Friend With the Reverse Cardigan, as Smith had just dumped her in the backyard.
Good riddance to that guy, I say. I’m glad he was honest with Laurie because that’s always best, but he never fit into The Group…because he never cared to build any relationships whatsoever. “I’m sorry about your life, Smith” was the best support Bobby could muster up, having just witnessed the sword-swallower “handle deep, baby, handle deep!” This was very Bobby, it was very sweet, and it kind of summed up the entire run of Smith’s character. Meanwhile, Travis, proud owner of an icky “Soul Friend” on his chin (for a few minutes), couldn’t make the break with Kylie — someone he truly cared about. He needs to stand up to that bite-kissing “ho-bag” soon. Travis and Laurie both deserve the name-breathing, “keep the baby” type of love. They need to eat the sword! (The catchphrase of the episode can clearly mean anything you want it to mean.)
NEXT: The top 10 moments from “The Damage You’ve Done”!
My Top 10 quotes and moments of the episode:
10. Grayson: “You know I’m not a strong skater. I fell like 10 times skating here.” (Because why would he skate there?!?)
9. “How does holding an iguana make you a street performer?” –silly Smith
8. “They’re like elf ears. Put them away.” –one of many harsh truths from Ellie to Jules
7. Bobby beaming with pride after he made himself a Dagwood. (Of course he did!)
6. “Don’t judge. You don’t know my life.” –Fancy Andy, who was Cuban that day and, for the record, likes the “googly eyes” effect of his wife’s errant nerps
5. “Let’s Lady and the Tramp this bitch.” –Jules, planning an attack of the chocolate manatee with Andy
4. “The high kick and the Rahhhhhh-ger Rabbit” moves from cheerleader Grayson
3. Laurie’s wholly unconvincing “one dead arm” trick for when she needs to park in the handicap spot
2. The entire reality show mode for a few seconds — Ellie’s twisted delight, Jules stating people’s names as complete sentences, and especially Grayson licking his hand and snuffing out the “torch” of Ellie’s wine glass. “You may now leave the group.” Chilling!
1. Grayson pretending to choke Laurie after she offered up this harsh truth about their hookup: “If it weren’t for that mirror by his bathtub, we never would have even made eye contact.”
Hidden gem: The POLICEWOMEN station behind Eat the Sword guy’s crowd!
Were any of my favorite moments yours, too? Will Laurie go back to sleeping with guys who don’t wear shirts to work, if only for a quick rebound? Discuss last night’s Cougar Town below!
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett
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