Welcome, Class-mates! Take your seats for the latest Doctor Who spin-off, which trades all of time and space for the halls of Coal Hill Academy. It may have gotten a slight redesign, but it’s still the same Coal Hill School that’s brushed paths with the TARDIS so many times since 1963, and that makes it a magnet for timey-wimey trouble. Having a couple of aliens in its ranks doesn’t hurt, either. Every week, Nivea Serrao and Kelly Connolly will be issuing report-card recaps to break down the latest happenings at the Academy. This week, swordhands are the new scissorhands. Watch out.
One of the perils of sharing your heart with an alien creature? Just suddenly having swords in your hands. On the other side of the universe from Coal Hill Academy, the Shadow Kin are trying to anchor April’s heart to Corikinus’ body, which backfires: The connection between the two deepens, and April looks down from a palpitation to find she’s holding a sword. (“Oh my.”) Also, her body can heal itself. And she has super-strength. She could always pick out a superhero identity and start fighting crime, but she doesn’t have glasses, so you just know everybody would recognize her.
Class is more grounded than your average superhero tale, anyway. At school, April frightens herself, her classmates, and her teacher when a discussion on the Battle of Dunkirk unleashes the alien within, and she goes off on a cold tirade about the inevitability of death in war. She snaps back to reality with no memory of what she just said, and when she confides in Ram, the pair skip class to talk in his car. He promises that he won’t let her die, but April knows well enough that no one can make that promise.
Right on cue, her father shows up. He just got out of prison, and seeing April is in clear violation of his parole, but here he is anyway. Imagine his surprise when his daughter comes at him with a sword in each hand (honestly? Good for her) and warns him to run. Ram takes her home — with the full approval of new head teacher Dorothea Ames, who seems to know too much.
Alone in April’s bedroom, the teens comfort each other, and it leads to sex. Their feelings are unintentionally contagious; the Shadow King, sharing April’s heart, gets caught up in the rush and gets it on with one of his minions, Kharrus. April’s mom walks in on her after the fact, and she isn’t thrilled, even though Ram handles the ensuing sit-down well.
Right on cue, April’s father shows up again. He’s been lurking (ugh), and he overheard Ram calling Tanya as he left the house to loop her in on what’s wrong with April. Daddy dearest claims to share Ram’s concern; his daughter did just pull a pair of swords out of thin air, after all. (April: “They’re more like scimitars.”)
And she’s about to do it again — Corikinus and Kharrus are working together to steal her heart for real this time. April fights back, yelling at both the Shadow King and her father that they can’t have her heart, and she wins. But she almost loses it in a different sense, as she corners her father with the swords and nearly kills him. Ram talks her down. Corikinus, who doesn’t have a Ram, gives into his own anger and kills Kharrus.
The swords disappear. April’s mother is very confused. April tells Ram he can’t save her, asks her mother’s forgiveness, and plunges her hand into Jackie’s chest. WHAT? The Shadow King feels the effect of whatever April is doing, and so does Jackie; she falls out of her wheelchair, and it looks like she won’t be needing it anymore.
Then, rather than explain to her mother (and us) what exactly just happened, April swords up once again, slashes a tear in space and time, and jumps through it. She’s taking the fight directly to Corikinus. Without much of a second thought, Ram leaps through and joins her.
While those two are off to fight fiery alien monsters in a shadow realm, the rest of our gang seems to be gearing up for a much prettier (but no less deadly) fight. Flower petals have been blowing into town on the breeze, and they’ve got a bite to them: Every time they draw blood, they multiply — a lot. Right now, they’re feeding on pricked fingers and squirrels, but as they start to take over, they’ll be coming for everyone.
This info comes to us courtesy of Dorothea Ames, who knows everything about everyone. She tells Quill that the Governors, the same group who sent a robot to keep an eye on her classroom, are impressed with her work, so she’s either one of them or she’s in cahoots with them — unless, of course, she’s a free agent using them to get what she wants. Quill can’t tell either. At the moment, she doesn’t much care. Ames is offering what she wants most — that Arn out of her head — if Quill will just help her fight some deadly flower petals. Seems pretty doable. It probably isn’t.