The Carrie Diaries recap: Turkey Time
I always knew I was like Carrie Bradshaw. I mean there’s our keen fashion sense. Our mutual attraction to sequins and vodka. Fondness for tiny hats. And then there’s our love of Thanksgiving. Personally, it’s my favorite holiday of the year…aside from, of course, SantaCon. And we learned tonight that not only does Carrie love Thanksgiving but her mother used to love it as well.
The show opened with a flashback and we got our first peek at Carrie’s mother…well Carrie’s mother’s back at least. She was in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving din while lil Carrie in pigtails tugged at her apron. Clearly, Carrie got her mother’s curly hair and her appreciation for conflicting patterns. With her mother gone, Carrie decided that this year she was going to prepare dinner and make it just like the old days. Knowing what we know about Sex and the City adult Carrie’s cooking skills, I think we can all agree that lady should have just planned on some Domino’s and a couple liters of Pepsi.
HOLD THE PHONE — this episode was directed by City Slickers star David Paymer! Genius! No one knows teen girl rom com like Paymer! No one!
But before we got to the big turkey dinner, Carrie and George went on a date in Central Park. They made out in a gazebo, which is all very Sound of Music/Leisl & Rolf but without that whole Nazi element. At least I hope George isn’t a Nazi — that would be a really left-field twist for a CW show. So it appeared that George brought a picnic of some sort and carried it with him in what only can be called a murse. I like to fancy myself a murse expert/collector so I feel confident in identifying one. Carrie, you betta keep your eye on this fella. Murses are typically sold in the airport gift shops while waiting for flights to Gaytown. And we all know your gaydar isn’t very in tune yet (Hi Walt!).
So big surprise, Dorrit was not feeling Carrie’s old-fashioned family thanksgiving. I’m sure she’d rather watch Poltergeist again for some make-up tips. She probably cast some sort of weather spell that caused a storm to strand Carrie’s grandma in Florida. Instead of having family over, her dad decided to invite Harlan and George. That shouldn’t be weird at all. I mean they’ve been on like two dates, one in a gazebo. The next logical step is a daylong dinner with immediate family. Carrie invites Mouse over to help cook because she can’t find any cookbooks and needs backup. She also hides all the girlie, cutesy stuff from her room like her framed photo of Shaun Cassidy.
George and his dad finally arrive for dinner. Is it just me or does George look like Theo from Road Rules circa 2000? Everything seems fine until Dorrit, like the nasty little apparition that she is, places the Shaun Cassidy photo in broad sight in the foyer. Poltergeist Amber Tamblyn strikes again!
NEXT: Dorrit lights up a doobie
Meanwhile, Maggie goes over to Walt’s snooty family’s home and has a real awkward dinner. Not helping the awkwardness is Walt’s father basically encouraging his son to join a frat at college and have homoerotic experiences. Oh don’t worry, pops — that’s pretty much a done deal. Maggie realizes though that she doesn’t really have a plan for the future and she can’t really just follow Walt around wherever he goes.
Back at Bradshaw home base, Carrie and Mouse are struggling with the bird. We got a real graphic view of them removing the giblets from the turkey’s butt, which may have been the most disturbing thing I’ve seen this week since Vin Diesel’s YouTube cover of Rihanna’s “Stay.” Throughout all this, Dorrit was oddly bonding with George, which was a twist straight out of an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Eventually, though, Dorrit broke down and ran outside to smoke some weed. Carrie followed and the pair got in a fight and argued about their mom.
Eventually, they ended up back inside and that’s when things exploded…literally. The turkey exploded in the oven and knocked out all the power. But that gave everyone a chance to calm down and for the producers to showcase super cool ’80s flashlights!! Dorrit basically admitted to Carrie that she just wanted to skip the holiday since their mom couldn’t be there and Carrie wanted to make it special for the very same reason. It was all actually very sweet. Carrie even referenced using her oven for storage, foreshadowing SATC!! And then Dorrit said she wanted to yank out the giblets next year and it got kinda creepy. POLTERGEIST AMBER TAMBLYN!
Back at her family’s house, Deputy Shmitty or whatever that cute guy’s name is hits on Maggie. She instead decided to have some self-worth and not just make a bad mistake without thinking about the future. Good call. But that guy is still pretty cute and I wouldn’t have been mad at her to just make out with him a hot minute.
So the big twist at the end was that Sebastian showed up on Carrie’s door late night and said he just felt like being with her. He’s totally a combo of Chord Overstreet and Liam Hemsworth. They had a nice little heart-to-heart on the front steps and she invited him in for some ambrosia salad, which is totally gross btw. Carrie’s dad even lets Sebastian come in for some gross salad. Progress!!
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