Kitty and Cooper experience milestone kisses, while Holly's amnesia drives Rebecca to make a major move
Brothers Sisters
Credit: Adam Larkey/ABC

This week’s Brothers and Sisters, “The Righteous Kiss,” would have been better if we could have focused more on Kitty and Cooper’s respective first smooches. Instead, much of the episode centered on the Holly/Rebecca/Justin plot so that Rebecca (aka Emily VanCamp) could leave the show. First, The Runaway Holly scampered up to Nora’s front door and begged for help. She hid in the bathroom for a few minutes as Nora freaked out — what if she killed herself? This was Holly’s cue to open the door and suggest that in her current state of uncertainty, she could have killed someone else on her way to the house! Conclusion: “I think you need to take me to the hospital.”

Holly continued to ladle out a word soup of harsh truths to Rebecca, apologizing again for her inability to find any loving feelings for her daughter. There’s so much proof that at one point she cared, but she just doesn’t care right now! She can’t. She has amnesia. Rebecca’s star-crossed lover Justin listened from outside the hospital room, flinching in disbelief. Surely Rebecca would want to stay with him even though her presence had become a detriment to her mother’s condition. They loved each other, right?

It wasn’t that easy. Rebecca had been offered a job at Tribeca Magazine in New York City, because there are always tons of openings for L.A.-based photographers with minimal experience in the NYC media industry. Justin and Rebecca decided that instead of the pair of star-crossed lovers who took their lives, they were a pair of star-crossed lovers who saved each other’s lives. Rebecca left a photo in Justin’s kitchen, then took a photo of her dad kissing her mom and walked away forever in her cool, photographer-ly leather jacket. Because she’s a photographer.

I don’t know if it was the dreamy swelling music, the young-photographer-leaving-for-New York plot line, Rachel Griffiths as a cast member, or some weird combo platter of all three, but I got a distinct Six Feet Under series-finale vibe as Rebecca walked away. It lasted about a second and I feel blasphemous even bringing it up.

Sarah, whose “newly empowered superbitch” hair looked amazing in her last scene, spent the episode hemming and hawing over Cooper’s increasingly poor chances of getting into an exclusive junior high. A horrible shrew named Gloria had reduced Sarah to the level of her home-maintenance staff — “a whole army of Third Worlders losing your socks and shrinking your sweaters.” Sarah had to make all of the costumes for Cooper’s elementary school production of Romeo and Juliet. With Nora deposed taking care of Holly, it was the gays to the rescue! Saul, Kevin, and Saul’s new friend Charlie — a stunning Tim Gunn knockoff who used to design costumes in mid-’60s Paris (!!!) — played the fleet of thread-happy house mice to Sarah’s lowly Cinderelly. My favorite line of the night came from Charlie: “Well, Juliet’s done. Let me get my hands on Mercutio.”

The fruits of Sarah’s labors failed her in what turned out to be a fantastic revenge plot. Gloria’s son Tucker had to run off the stage after his costume ripped — what a waste, considering “the coaching he got from Denzel.” Then, the play’s Juliet was so flummoxed after Cooper dipped her hard for the big kiss that she ran away too, sending Gloria’s scenery toppling to the stage. Blame Luc! He created that monster during his adorable bedside chat with Cooper, as he taught him, “You don’t kiss with this [pointing to his incredible shiny hair] but with this [pointing to his miraculous pecs].”

NEXT: Naked co-parenting, and home-improvement metaphors for sexytimes.

Of course, what Luc really meant was that if Romeo had feelings for his Juliet, he should kiss her not with his head, but with his heart. “I think what we saw here tonight is the direct result of being raised in an over-sexualized home,” said Gloria. To retaliate, Sarah loudly informed the entire parental community that Gloria regularly slept with her pool boy in the guest house. And then for good measure, she grabbed her artistic underwear model and led him away. “Come here, you sexy, French beast. Let’s go home and do some naked co-parenting.” Screw that new school! That place is the weenie capital of the world.

Meanwhile, up in Ojai, the sexual tension between Kitty and Pepper Jack came to a hammer-head amidst a sea of fun metaphors about longer strokes, imminent drilling, and stubborn poles. Turns out Kevin and Kitty have more in common than they thought: “I once spent a hot weekend in Aspen with a guy from Warsaw!” Kevin fondly remembered. Kitty went on and on about how Pepper Jack could make a killing with his fine woodworking skills if he sold dining room chairs and beds in SoHo (totally true), but Pepper Jack was onto her. “Are you trying to figure out something new about yourself, or are you trying to change me?” he wondered. This guy is startlingly perceptive for someone who doesn’t even believe in Bluetooth devices.

Anyway, Pepper Jack didn’t give Kitty much time to ponder her answer, because he suddenly kissed her! He was just going with the grain. Kitty pretended she was mad at him, asking if he had any idea how much noise he had just put into her head (with nary a single hand-held device in sight). But in quick time, these two star-crossed lovers were able to work it out, shushing each other while rocking back and forth on one of those crazy swing/chairs that often live on decks. She does like him, she clued him in. Pepper Jack feigned shock. Hang on to this one, Kitty! Not every hot slice of carpenter cheese would still find you tantalizing after you uttered the unfortunate thesis statement, “Cell phones have always been an important part of my life.”

Saul finally bit the bullet (or in this case, grommet puncher) and told Charlie — right as Charlie was leaning in for a kiss — about his condition. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Charlie had asked. “I’m positive….I’m HIV positive.” Way to bury the lead, Saul! Charlie’s reaction was perfectly reasonable, but it still stung because I just loved him so damn much. Having lived with a man who struggled with AIDS for 10 years until he died, Charlie knew he didn’t have the strength to go through that again. “I’m glad you had that in your life,” said Saul. “I was beginning to think that maybe I could have that, too.”

It was terrible — Charlie couldn’t even finish his cognac! But in the end, Saul was happy Kevin and Scotty had pushed him off of that cliff. I love how at-peace Saul is — he’s realistic and accepting about the different ways people could react, and he even joked about his condition a bit by saying cholesterol could get him first. I too was shouting “Wait! Who’s Stanley?” after Kevin proposed a meet-up between his lawyer friend and Saul.

Do you wish to see any more of Holly’s recovery? Would you kiss Gilles Marini with your head, your heart, or something else? Discuss last night’s Brothers and Sisters below!

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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