If Bill Nye the Science Guy helped solve a murder, it would look something like this

By Darren Franich
March 26, 2015 at 04:15 AM EDT
S6 E4
  • TV Show

Hmmm, the first episode where Blonde Journalist Girlfriend doesn’t appear — and is barely even mentioned, in fact — turns out to be the best of the season so far. Just a coincidence? Correlation does not imply causality, my little scientists. Just ask our friend, Dr. Bunsen Jude, The Science Dude. He’s basically Bill Nye the Science Guy, except his show still exists in 2010 and he looks like David Alan Grier.

Last night’s hour got off to a frothy beginning after a prodigiously prolonged prologue involving a hot freegan date. (For the uninitiatied: hippies are to freegans what your average Catholic is to a self-flagellating albino monk.) This led into a bit of sparkling repartee – hooray, the repartee’s back! – as Bones assured Booth that A) She had planned the perfect murder, and B) If/when she commits it, he will not be able to catch her. She couldn’t share the secret with him, though, since Booth is smooching a journalist. And you know how men get post-coitus: “Hey, honey, wanna hear something funny my partner told me at work today?” Am I right, ladies?

In the great canon of disgusting Bones corpses, I’d rank this one in the top ten. All the team managed to find in the dumpster were limbs and a badly decomposed skull. Cue a proud vom session from visiting celebrity scientist, Dr. Dude. He’s on a TV show, Cam explained. “His own science show! About science!” When Dr. Dude appeared, I was anxious, and I began to flop-sweat, because I haven’t found David Alan Grier funny in 16 years.

But then we got to the meaty subplot of the episode – Dr. Dude’s attempt to prove himself to Dr. Brennan – and from there I was hooked. You have to love how many different ways Grier managed to say “Amazing” over the course of the episode. And “Observe, analyze, deduce!” is my new motto of the week. (Also, Dr. Dude explains scientific concepts by showing a cartoon of Captain Speedy falling off a cliff.) Maybe I just liked the character so much because of Hodgins, who played a game in college where every time The Science Dude said “Amazing,” him and his buddies would take a shot. From now on, I’m going to do the same whenever Hodgins says “Particulates,” Angela says “Honey,” or anyone is dismissive of Sweets. (As a result, future Bones recaps on EW.com are either going to get incredible or, more likely, illegible, or perhaps be written by someone other than yours truly.)

The central mystery was surprisingly twisted, considering how dull it was. Let’s see, the dead guy was a bounty hunter chasing after Mr. Braverman, and Mr. Braverman’s wife was psychologically dependent on him, and there was a lady bounty hunter who flirted her way out of Booth’s handcuffs, and also a bail bondsman had terminal cancer. Of all these characters, only the bail bondsman really connected, and he had an awesome line: “I believe in God, and I would like to make a good impression when I stand before him.” The lady bounty hunter seemed like a vivaciously teasing character, before she suddenly turned into some weird combination of a 24 villain and an SVU psycho.

NEXT: Axes are hurled! Potato bazookas are built!

Doomsayers and mopey-dopes, the whole lot of them! Give me Dr. Dude and Hodgins building themselves a makeshift ribcage with paint-stir sticks. (Household objects are often used on The Science Dude to mimic body parts. Think cantaloupe melons and pudding.) They threw a baseball at the fake-ribs. They shot a golf ball out of a slingshot. They threw an axe. (Don’t you want to work at the Jeffersonian?) “Wow, ribs are really tough!” said Dr. Hodgins, who is a doctor. Finally, Dr. Dude built a potato bazooka using PVC tube and commercial hair spray. Can his show get cancelled so he can become the Number One Squintern, please?

I understand if some people were annoyed by Dr. Dude. Believe me, speaking as someone who says “dude” at the start and end of every sentence, I got a headache from the over-the-top cuteness of his entire situation. But Bones has been morphing into an ever-more-farcical show for a while now, so maybe I just appreciated how the Science Dude turned the shenanigan level up to 11. And he taught us lots of important life lessons. Like: “It’s a barbarity that clarity is a rarity!” And he also convinced Dr. Brennan that children are our future.

Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t feel just a little stir at the end of the episode, when Brennan recited the Scientist’s Motto: “We see big stars, tiny atoms too, because that is what scientists do. We get the facts and say what’s true, because that is what scientists do. In darkest day in blackest night, no science shall escape my sight!” And she said all this while wearing a skeleton outfit, a tutu, and giant mickey mouse gloves. And her hair was in pig-tails. It’s not magic, it’s science!

What’d you think of the Science Dude, Bones fans? Were you sort of touched by the fact that Angela would name her maybe-daughter Temperance (albeit without ever calling her that)? Wouldn’t it be much better to name her Brennan? And why did Booth suddenly have a little girl on his lap at the end of the episode?

For more updates on the Bones drinking game, follow me on Twitter @EWDarrenFranich

THINK OF YOUR TELEVISION AS A VITAL MEMBER OF THE FAMILY? Then don’t miss this week’s TV Insiders podcast! Michael Ausiello, Michael Slezak, Annie Barrett, Dalton Ross, and Jeff Jensen weigh in on the returning series that are hitting creative peaks this season, and dish the latest happenings on Mad Men, Survivor, and Dancing With the Stars. Click here to download the podcast to your MP3 player, or listen to a YouTube embed below!

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Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz play a will-they-won’t-they crime-solving duo.
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