If anything is true, it's that you can't trust a man who wears adventure sandals
After 10 hours with the Rayburns, it’s hard to tell if that crashing noise you hear is your own body keeling over from mental exhaustion, the lives of each and every Rayburn falling down around them, or just the opening credits. Either way, we’re here at the end of the road, and there’s still a lot of puzzle left to be solved. In Marco’s mind, he’s basically one vowel away from asking Pat to solve the puzzle, but I have a feeling it’s going to get a bit more complicated for him before it gets resolved. Let’s jump in.
We kick off the episode with Angry Di back out on the deck, asking John about the drowning. At this point, John’s face is both completely devoid of all feeling and also dripping with sadness. He dodges the question and just scoots over to the fact that he said he’d tell Diana if they’re ever not safe… and it’s not looking so hot for the Rayburns. He tells her to do whatever it is that she has to do, but I don’t think he means it because she looks like she’s about to drown him herself.
Back on the beach of broken families, Marco is doing a little exploring after his conversation with O’Dirtbag. And the big joke of the whole season is that it’s actually O’Dirtbag that figures out that John was at the beach, not Marco. And in return, Marco promises him immunity. Two steps behind any actual breakthrough, Marco stumbles upon that private camera — the one with footage of John and Meg and Kevin and Ozzy and Eric and Greg and Marcia and Jan… you get the point. John shares the same footage with Meg but promises he will take the responsibility, but Meg makes a valid point: They’re on the camera. There’s no avoiding it. But Meg says she’s sick and tired of lying. Preach it, girl. And that’s when our old friend Ghost Danny makes a welcomed return, smoking a cigarette. Ghost Danny is so much more chill than real Danny, y’all.
Sally is hanging out at the inn, and guess who’s waiting on her? Everyone’s favorite livewire, Ozzy. He tells her she looks just like Danny, which is super shady. Anyway, he comes in and drops all the things that Sally hates about her life, but in a super cheerful tone just like only John Leguizamo can. Just in time Eve comes out and she gives Ozzy this, “WTF bro?” look. Eve just wants to take her dead boyfriend’s son and live with her almost-mother-in-law, ya know? It’s the new American dream!
Unfortunately, it’s not dreams for everyone because Marco and Aguirre’s operations have been shut down until Internal Affairs lifts their suspension, even with all the information they have on John. It appears that everyone is starting to have to face their demons, so it’s nice to see an innocent face come along in Lil’ Jake, who Kevin rehires back onto staff. But then he finds out that will probably be his last hire because Luis and Mr. Gilbert will be running the show soon. And on top of that, Meg drops the information on Kevin that O’Dirtbag is involved with the cops.
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And if you remember, Ozzy did not endorse that plan at all, so it’s no surprise when he shows up with his open-track jacket and gets pissed at O’Dirtbag. Eric pushes him, and that’s when Ozzy pulls a gun. But guess who has a bigger gun? Chelsea, who comes out with a solid over under 12 gauge meaning business. Meanwhile, Nolan has another flash to the past, remembering his meeting with Robert and Danny. He thanked Robert for all those nice checks he sent to Eve, but now Eve and Nolan live with Sally, who is curious about why Ozzy came to visit them. Eve explains that Ozzy is her ex and that Ozzy and Danny once robbed a drug store for pills to sell, as one does. Sally’s confused why he didn’t ask Robert for help, but he did…
AND THAT’S WHEN WE FLASH BACK! Danny excused Nolan so that he could ask Robert for money for the restaurant. Turns out Danny tried kind-of-hard to be a decent dad to Nolan. I might be using the term decent loosely, but in comparison to making out threeway style while hopped up on pills last season, this version of Danny feels pretty tame. Robert agrees to give the money to Danny for the restaurant, but if he takes it, he has to provide for Nolan on his own. So Danny chose Nolan. Not sure why he didn’t, you know, open up the restaurant and then take care of Nolan, but I guess parenthood is a tricky beast. Anyway, Nolan overhears all of this goes down, which can’t be great for his already bruised psyche.
Chelsea and John, my personal favorite duo ever, meet back up. I love Chelsea so much because she’s just trying to live her life, get her mom to take her medicine with her Ho Ho’s, and not have to use her shotgun. John asks if she’ll come down and try to identify Ozzy so they can get him off the street because John doesn’t want him hurting anyone. Chelsea apologizes, as if she ever had anything to apologize for. Even John admits she has nothing to apologize for because she’s practically the Princess of the Florida Keys. Anyway, Chelsea heads down to the station and identifies Ozzy and you can practically see John fist-pumping from the next room.
NEXT: The family that kills together, stays together?
A couple rooms down and a few miles down the road, Kevin and Belle (where you been sister?) are checking out a sonogram of Baby Rayburn, or as we should have called it all along “Bayburn.” Belle says that the baby looks like Kevin, which is dumb because unless Kevin is essentially an ink blot pulsating on a screen, she needs to calm down. It’s cute, nevertheless. And it’s much more lighthearted than Marco’s questioning regarding that time he covered up Sheriff Aguirre’s domestic assault. He denies that he covered anything up, but Ms. Ortiz is hanging out, waiting for her turn to drag Marco across the fires of JUSTICE.
LOL just kidding. Ms. Ortiz shut the whole thing down and said it’s a misunderstanding. Victimization is real. And so are murder charges, which is why John rolls Kevin and Meg back together for a special beach meeting. Unless O’Dirtbag changes his story, then all three of them are screwed… even if Kevin believes that he and Meg didn’t do anything. That’s when John gets REAL fresh and tells them that they had a choice. John argues that he killed Danny because Meg and Kevin wanted it, but Kevin doesn’t see any of it that way. He is right about one thing though… when he told Meg that they’d fall apart if they didn’t stick together. Meg and Kevin tell John that it’s on him now and drive away. WHERE ARE THOSE BLOOD PRESSURE PILLS?
Marco and O’Dirtbag have a quick chat where he promises Eric immunity if he comes in the next day, but I have a feeling that someone’s going to stop that from happening. Later that night, Ozzy lights up with his Zippo and heads to that sports bar where you’re still allowed to smoke inside (beyond me, but okay). John pulls up after him, breaks into his car, and does some investigating of his own because if we know one thing, it’s that bad guys keep crucial evidence in their cars. That’s when John finds Ozzy’s gun… that gun that’s been floating around WAY too much lately.
Speaking of things that have been floating around too much lately, those tapes between Lowry and John? Those ended up with Mr. Gilbert, who listens to them the same way I listen to the Hamilton track at work: very casually, but pensively. Keeping on track with her new truth brigade, Meg admits to Marco that she released the information on Aguirre, but she kept him out and would like to talk to him off the record about what’s going on. But Marco let’s her know real quick that they don’t have a personal relationship anymore. Big loss for Meg. Remember hot Alec? I miss hot Alec.
Meanwhile, Nolan (who seems to be the conduit for all flashbacks now) bounces back to a time where he had no face piercings and when Danny was alive. He reflects on the time he saw Danny post-jail. Danny passed his keys on to Nolan before boarding the bus to go see the Rayburn clan, but not before telling him to take good care of himself. Dad Danny is the best Danny, honestly. Diana stumbles upon Nolan being super reflective and crying and asks if he’s okay. That’s when Nolan admits that he feels like he’s responsible for Danny’s death, which is the first time anyone on this show has actually owned up to something. Big points for Nolan!
So, Ozzy is packing up his hotel room when Luis comes to visit. Ozzy has had some of the best gems this season… when Luis says, “I need you to come with me,” Ozzy responds, “I need you to suck my d–k.” Oh Ozzy. Never change. Elsewhere, John corners O’Dirtbag with a gun and makes him come along with him. It’s like a really violent game of follow the leader this episode! And then there’s Meg and Kevin, who are contemplating going to Marco to tell him everything.
John takes Eric to the boat house, and Eric is almost impressed by John’s initiative. He asks if he’s going to kill him too, because honestly, what does Eric even have to lose? John offers to help Eric, but O’Dirtbag tells John that he knows everything: the drugs, the beach, and how he didn’t keep him safe. And in that moment, John loses his mind, but also makes our dreams come true and steals our phrase and calls Eric a “f–kin DIRTBAG!!” Eric tells him to just put a bullet in his head and that he killed his brother, and that’s when John pulls the gun and jams it into Eric’s eye. He pulls the trigger, but it’s not loaded. JOHN HAS GONE FULL BONKERS EVERYONE. Eric just mutters, “Anything to protect the Rayburn name.” John lowers the gun and drops the key on the ground and goes back out to his truck.
Meg and Kevin pull up at Marco’s, but she can’t muster up the ability to go in and face him. Kevin goes alone but turns around, looking back at Meg. Still no dice, so Kevin takes the plunge and goes up to Marco’s door. Kevin steps in and begins to tell the story, but he settles on, “I didn’t have anything to do with killing Danny.” Then Marco goes on a tangent about how the Rayburns just lie and lie and lie, and he’s not wrong, you know? They’re interrupted when O’Dirtbag calls and says that John has gone nuts and he needs to talk now. Marco agrees to meet him and completely dismisses Kevin… that is, until he tells Marco that it was John who killed Danny.
And then there’s John, who’s driving around casually, ignoring calls from Angry Di. Meg, of course, has gone home to hang out with Sally at this point. But back at his place, Marco’s not super surprised by the information he’s just been handed. Actually, he tells Kevin that he, Meg, and John are all going to prison. So, like any respectable expecting father would do, he grabs a stone dolphin figure and beats Marco to death. Goodnight, sweet Marco. That’s what happens when you get too close to that Rayburn name. Also, how big of an insult must it be to get killed by someone wearing adventure sandals? What a way to go.
Meg breaks down in her mother’s arms and then, of course, Ghost Danny is riding shotgun with John, and if I may point it out, John gets along so much better with ghost siblings than he does with live ones. And with the pull of a string instrument and an escape from the Keys, that’s all we have. Marco is dead. John is running away. O’Dirtbag doesn’t have a car. And Sally just wants to start fresh with Eve and Nolan. It’s a tricky world, this Rayburn world, but it’s our world. And hopefully, you’ve binged enough violence and aggressive language to last you until next year when Meg kills Evangeline with a crystal seagull (GOD if I correctly call this, give me an Emmy award for just existing). God speed everyone. Remember to never paint your nurseries pale green, don’t trust a man in Tevas, and for the love of everything, fix that damn shower in bungalow 3.