We need to talk about Kevin
Credit: Saeed Adyani/Netflix

We open with Danny in his chef’s coat getting into a shady dude’s car. But wait, this is no ordinary shady dude — it’s John Leguizamo! Hello! IMDB tells us his character’s name is Ozzy Delvechhio. Ozzy asks Danny about hot tail, so you know he’s a class act. Danny does not seem psyched to be with the blizzard of Oz. He hands Danny a gun, and Danny looks really uncharacteristically nervous.

Cut to Nolan and John in the car. Nolan also seems a bit nervous as he’s looking to get a job washing dishes. John is a mix of affectionate fatherly and then straight up jerk as he tells Nolan he knows everything about everything and to stay on the straight and narrow.

Kevin drops a cocaine pie on the table with his customer. But as he’s leaving, he runs into some cops who are all smiles probably because Kevin is a Rayburn and he is the brother of John. But the coke customer does not seem to like that one bit. How do I know? Kevin gets stopped at a stop sign and tased and rolled by the guys who start screaming at him about being a cop. This is bad. It seems as though these guys definitely want to kill Kevin, and he’s scrambling through the grass, and they are definitely about to shoot him in the head. NOT FROSTY!

The show tries to give us all a heart attack thinking Kevin is killed. (I believe I shouted ‘No!’ at my TV). Belle is frantic. Meg, en route to the airport to go back to NYC, is a bit calmer: He probably got hammered and is sleeping it off. John employs great do-what-you-need-to-do guilt tactics to let her know she should probably stick around. They try to reassure each other that this is just Kevin being Kevin. John checks in with Jake and learns that Kevin is in worse shape than he thought. Marco tells John that they found a body that sounds an awful lot like it could be Kevin. Ugh.

But the body is not Kevin! It is the customer. Hmmm, what the hell happened? Cigarette burns all over his body, too. Yikes. John is sweaty with relief. Marco is like, uh, are you okay? Marco later finds out about the body, who is some coke dealer. John is like what the hell.

Nolan chills with Eric O’Dirtbag, who apparently is the one who has been getting him to snoop around the Rayburn house, and he gives him a scribbled-out message to deliver. And that message is to one Chelsea O’Bannon! Oh, Chelsea, how we’ve missed you! She sees Nolan creeping around the mailbox and finds the note from Bro Dirtbag.

Sally is at the inn and is reminded that a shower isn’t working in one of the bungalows. That’s the kind of thing that will really mess with your Yelp rating. And is Sally losing her mind? Anyway, Lenny asks how meeting Nolan was and she says he’s a lot like Danny was, which is generally an understatement. Lenny is like maybe it’s time for me to go. Then he gives a little speech about how if you keep picking at things there is nothing but more darkness. Sheesh, Lenny. (Though this is true: never snoop through your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband’s things! You will never like what you find.) She says she looks at Nolan and wonders what else her grandson knows.

Nolan is picked up by Ozzy. He tells us all there’s a lot we don’t know about Danny… such as him robbing a store with pantyhose on his head. He takes a pretty young girl hostage and tells the pharmacist he wants all the pills. I guess this all tracks.

Meg gives up on going home and comes to see Kevin, who is very much alive. He’s a wreck. And I mean a mess. She’s like are you high? Which, if you have to ask… John arrives at Kevin’s shady hotel room and gets the whole story: He kept some of Danny’s coke, a.k.a. Wayne Lowry’s coke, and was dealing it. John looks like he might murder a second brother for fun. John is like, wait how many people knew it was you, and we get a hilarious but not really scene of Kevin going through all the people that have seen him. God, he’s a wreck, but I love Kevin so much. I love you, Kevin! Oh, poor messed up Kevin. John goes into protector mode and starts telling people what to do. He tells Kevin not to make contact with anyone and then gives him a big brother hug. It is not easy being John Rayburn.

Meg runs after him when he leaves, and John drops the everything will be okay mask and tells her straight: Lowry’s drugs are back on the street! We’re hosed! He also tells Meg her new job is to keep Kevin in the hotel.

Now we got Ozzy giving O’Dirtbag a gun, which is just great. Ozzy is staying in town, he says, to poke around. He’s intrigued by what happened with Danny at the hotel, specifically that John didn’t try to stop his killer. “I know how to sniff out opportunity.” I’ll say.

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Lenny takes Nolan out for some food and asks him about the people Danny owed money. Nolan, as usual falls back on wariness and sarcasm and asks why Lenny doesn’t ask John directly. Lenny tells him he reminds him of Danny. (I wonder if Nolan gets tired of this.) Lenny felt like the cards were stacked against Danny. Nolan is like, uh, he had a family and a nice hotel to grow up in and cry me a river. Lenny is not to be deterred and keeps asking what else Nolan saw when Kevin and John went to Danny’s apartment.

NEXT: Sisters get their brothers to fall in line. Sort of.

John goes to see Chelsea. She’s wearing my favorite Chelsea outfit — bikini under a tank and denim skirt with smokes sticking out. She’s very standoffish, and John tries to play good cop and is like, oh hey, your brother is in trouble… he goes into real sweet Coach Rayburn mode. He tells her the investigation is ongoing and he needs to know if she’s heard from Eric. John tells her that he can protect Eric from the bad people. She, rightly, is like, oh like you protected Danny? He tells her that he’ll do everything he can to help Eric. She stops him and asks if they want Eric dead. He says they’ll do anything they have to. She’s like, well I don’t know where he is but someone might.

Kevin calls Belle to tell her that he’s alive. Poor Belle. She hangs up. Kevin tries to explain himself to Meg, who is pretty over it, too. He’s like, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. He’s tired of lying to everyone. He tells her, I never realized till you left, you were the one I talked to. Now he has nothing. She’s like, so it’s my fault? They sit in sad sibling silence.

Back at Danny’s robbery, you see that Ozzy comes in to mess things up. He also beats the hell out of some poor dude. We get it, show! Ozzy is a real bad guy.

Wayne Lowry is also on the case of the missing coke. Or, rather, his boss wants to know how it is that product seized by the DEA is back on the street. Wayne is looking bad here and he ruffles up at the implication he’s being shady and doing some dealings. No honor among thieves for real. Long story short: Kevin really has caused a lot of problems for a lot of people.

Nolan hitchhikes without realizing that John was following him and thus is lead to O’Dirtbag’s secret hideaway. With the help of a gun, John and O’D take a drive. He asks why Eric was talking to Nolan, and it turns out Danny was looking out, which gives John pause. John tells him he’ll give him a break IF he does what John wants.

Sally goes to buy some flowers from Diana. She asks Diana a few question, like what happened when John sent Diana and the kids away. Diana is trying to be polite about her mother-in-law’s dead son, but it’s tough and finally she’s like what exactly is up. Sally tells her she thinks John is keeping things from her. That’s enough to make Diana open up, so she tells her about Danny threatening the kids. Sally tries to wave it off and Diana gets mad at Sally’s denial. Diana is like, he was dangerous, you should have concern for the rest of us. They go back and forth, rather nastily, but Sally wins when she points out that Diana doesn’t know what it’s like to have a dead child.

Kevin is pacing around the hotel room. Meg is like, I missed my plane for you now sit down. He’s like so you like your new job? It’s good to be away? She’s like, hey, I’m trying to stay in denial and I’m sorry I’m not around. But I need to take care of myself so back off.

More sister real talk: Chelsea sits in front of Eric O’D. John really brought in the big guns! She’s worried. He’s, like you have no idea how bad this actually is. And then he asks what happened to Danny… and their dying mother. She gives him the business and is basically like, all yours John Rayburn.

So then John is able to call Wayne and tells him he found Eric O’D and that Eric is willing to give Wayne up. And Eric can put the pieces together. John’s like, you should check yourself before you wreck yourself. John offers him a plea bargain to turn in the bigger dogs. Wayne points out he’ll be killed. John is like, your wife and kid will be okay. John wants the tape in exchange. Lowry says he’ll think about it. Seems pretty promising.

Nolan gets in a car, and it’s with a woman who looks an awful like like the hostage from the robbery. And surprise! It’s his mom.

Wayne comes home and loses his mind when the front door is left open. His wife is like uh, relax and he runs up the stairs and yells at everyone about leaving the door open. It’s enough for Lowry to want to make a deal. Over in copland, Marco is like no way. John pretends to consider it and does this amazing trick where he it seems like he is convinced. John! So crafty!

So now it seems like everyone will be in the clear: Lowry will make a deal, Danny’s case will automatically go cold. But this is only episode three and here comes Kevin who thinks he can “fix” things with Lowry. Meg gets distracted by her boss asking where she is and why she missed the meeting. (God, this whole story line stresses me out). She starts stressing how much she wants this job as Kevin peels out of the hotel to ruin everything and everyone.

John goes to the inn to find out why Sally and Diana had words. Sally tells him she knows about him and Kevin moving the drugs to Miami. She makes the wrong conclusion — that John was protecting Danny and hugs him for being a good brother.

And the last shot we see is of Kevin with the drugs on the front seat. Welp.

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