The contestants learn important lessons about dining out, and Coach Mo has to make a big decision
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The Biggest Loser
Credit: Chris Haston/NBC

Purple and Orange. Two colors that don’t rhyme with anything, two teams on a collision course. Last week, power-mad Tracey forced Shay to weigh in for Team Orange. Shay saw that as a betrayal. ”I trusted what you said to me,” said Shay at the Orange-Purple summit that kicked off last night’s episode. ”That trust is broken, no matter what.”

Tracey admitted no malice: ”I assumed that you were just gonna drop this big fat number.” Shay was unconvinced: ”I will be cordial. But I am never going to trust them.” I believe the second part.

Coach Mo claimed that the Orange team was being disingenuous. ”People asking for favors, they’re not giving anything back.” Last week, Coach Mo stayed quiet during his partner’s machinations. The big question for this episode: Would he join in with Tracey’s mad genius? Or would he become that noble patriarch who gave the we’re-all-in-this-together speech in week 2?

In the gym, Jillian stuck to Julio. ”You’re not happy! You’re not 407 pounds and happy! Have you ever been good enough?” Julio opened up: ”Some people jump in a bottle, others take pills. I eat cheeseburgers. It’s my drug of choice.” Julio was full of wisdom tonight. If the Losers were the Justice League of America, Julio would be the Martian Manhunter: powerful, intelligent, aloof.

Dr. H. thought Tracey’s enzyme levels were too high. ”We’re gonna have to shut you down.” Tracey: ”How am I gonna lose weight if I’m not working out?” Coach Mo was supportive. ”I know that I’ll have to carry the weight for the team this week.”

Ali locked up the refrigerator for the week. ”For the next seven days, you’re gonna have to order out,” said Ali. Everyone complained about delivery food. ”There’s melon all over my chicken,” said Julio. ”There’s cheese all over my salad,” whined Danny. ”When you order out, it’s like they don’t read the ticket,” complained Liz. Apparently, it takes three weeks on The Biggest Loser to turn Red Meat All-Americans into Slow Food San Franciscans.

Jillian and Bob: ”We’re gonna go out for a date!” My brain exploded. But then they explained: they were taking the Losers to a Mexican restaurant. ”What Mexican food can be healthy?” asked Dina.

At dinner, Jillian and Bob proved that they are the worst dinner guests ever. Jillian ordered: ”I’m gonna get the dressing on the side. No nuts, add shrimp.” Bob ordered: ”I’m getting the exact same thing, but without the shrimp.” Then they insulted everyone else’s food, and Jillian made Rebecca cry. Some date!

For the immunity challenge, the Losers had to hang onto the side of a rotating platform, which would slowly rotate into a completely vertical position above a pool like some kind of James Bond torture device. It came down to Agent Orange and Allen. ”You ready, Daniel?” asked Allen (aka Superman.) ”Yeah, baby!” answered Agent Orange (aka Batman). The latter had made a promise to himself: ”I went home week 4 last season, and I’m not doing it again.” After a long battle, Allen fell. Orange was triumphant.

NEXT: Which way will Mo vote?

Last chance workout! Jillian to Rudy: ”The things I’m gonna do to you! You don’t know the meaning of pain! I’m gonna break you in half!” Coach Mo injured his back, probably because of the Tracey-sized weight resting on his shoulders. But he limped over to the exercise bike. Julio was full of admiration: ”He’s like an old warrior. He’s gonna fight until he’s got nothing left to fight with.”

At the weigh-in, Agent Orange lost nothing. Zero pounds. He blamed it on delivery food. Bob thought different: ”When someone loses zero pounds, or one pound, and they’re immune, they’re playing the game just as much as Tracey is.” So glamour boy’s not as pure as you thought, eh, Bob? If only someone — perhaps some brave recapper with a nickname fetish — had seen the demon glint in Daniel’s eyes way back in the first episode!

Rudy: ”I may have hit a wall this week.” He hit a wall, all right: a wall of pure awesomeness! Rudy lost 11 pounds, his fourth straight week in double digits. Rudy is unstoppable. (He’s the Flash. Dina can be Kid Flash.)

Team purple a-go-go! Tracey lost 4 pounds. Mo lost 8. ”The comeback kids are here to stay!” said Coach Mo. Gag, said Lady Shay (aka Wonder Woman.) ”It kills me that another healthy team is gonna go home while they sit here.”

It was down to Julio vs. Liz & Danny for the elimination. They were besties, which made it even more tragic. Said Julio, ”She takes care of me, I take care of her, we take care of Danny.” (Where was this charming man all season, Biggest Loser editors?)

Controversy in Team Purple! Coach Mo: ”Julio is my closest friend in the house.” Tracey: ”Liz is my roommate.” Meanwhile, the Pink team and the Orange team were caucusing. Or rather, Team Pink was waiting for Team Orange to tell them how to vote. Agent Orange said, ”I think if we fell below, Liz would have no problem sending us home.” Shay: ”That freaks me out. But that’s not how I wanna play the game.” Shay’s still voting with her heart. Or is she?

(Right before the elimination vote, there was a commercial break. Did anyone else notice that the stick-around promo clearly said, ”See how the eliminated player looks today,” singular? That’s NBC, folks — they have about half as many shows as the other networks, and still with the inadvertent spoilers.)

Orange voted for Julio; Green for Julio (Allen almost cried); Blue for Liz/Danny (Dina did cry.) Team Purple had the decisive vote. Tracey had a speech ready, natch. ”He would never write Julio’s name, and I would never write Liz’s.” She rambled on like that for half an hour. ”Please, Mo,” I whispered. ”Don’t let her sway you. Take back your team.”

Tracey revealed the telltale index card. The struggle for Coach Mo’s soul was over. Tracey won. Julio lost. (Mo is Aquaman, but he’s Aquaman after this happened.)

”It’s time for you to go,” said Ali. ”Say goodbye to your friends.” Julio hugged Liz, and Danny, and weeping Dina, and sheepish Mo. Shay couldn’t look her victim in the eye. The Orange and Purple teams have so far ruled this season with an intriguing mix of heroic weight loss and devious game play. In the process, two lovable people — Shay and Mo — have become fierce, stonefaced competitors.

What do you think, viewers? Did you like Rebecca’s Weigh-In hairdo as much as I did? (So that’s what’s hiding under the bandanna!) And did Julio look fantastic at the end or what?

Episode Recaps

The Biggest Loser
Contestants battle the bulge and each other in the competitive weight-loss series
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