Think like a gondola to be a gondola

By Justin Kirkland
July 12, 2017 at 09:24 PM EDT
S19 E7
Show DetailsAbout Big Brother
  • TV Show

Oh, how the cold and emotionless have fallen.

As we left the house last episode, Paul moved forward on his plan to backdoor Cody by nominating Alex and Josh as pawns. The only problem is that Ramses, to whom no one is interested in passing any information, decided to cash in that curse of his that requires him to self-nominate. He put himself up as a third nominee because when you’re not in the conversation, why not? Problem is: If Ramses wins that veto (guys, come on), Paul can’t replace Ramses. It’s a journey.

We kick off the episode with Paul explaining what a backdoor is, just in case you were sitting at home bored on a Wednesday and thought, “Hm, let’s jump into a series that’s been running for nearly 20 seasons.” Paul is feeling Tony the Tiger levels of greatness about the situation because he wants Cody out hard — so much so that he pulls Ramses aside to ask him not to fight for the veto. Ramses agrees because Ramses is honestly just excited that someone wants to talk to him.

The actual voice of Satan asks everyone to come into the living room to deliver the curse from the Den of Temptation. It reveals that Cody, Jason, and Jessica are cursed, and Jessica immediately picks up on the fact that it was Christmas who did it. Jessica, finalist for UN Goodwill ambassador, decides that Christmas is actually a bully, which makes their punishment all the sweeter: The trio are frogs for the week and must hop everywhere they go.

Upstairs, Ramses goes into the HoH room, where Kevin and Paul are, then immediately leaves. It sends Paul into a paranoid tailspin because WHO WALKS INTO A ROOM AND OUT OF IT? My guess would be people bored in a house all summer just trying to waste time, but other people would say dangerous purveyors of betrayal.

Super bummed about being frogs in jeopardy, Jessica decides to ask Cody the hard-hitting questions, like: “If you had known last week we would be this close, would you have made such a risky move?” He says, “Yep,” because when you’re a frog robot, all you can say is “yep” and “protein.” But their time is interrupted when players for the veto are drawn: Paul, Ramses, Alex, and Josh are playing, of course, but they’re joined by Elena and Matt. That’s no good at all for Jessica and Cody.

The players are going to be called into the backyard one by one, and Paul is absolutely unraveling in front of Ramses. Like, begging him to lose the competition. Ramses promises everything is fine, but finally he admits that he made a promise that he wasn’t going to purposefully lose a challenge, and can you blame him? Maybe if he had been included in a conversation before he was needed, he’d be a little more willing to participate.

The competition itself is a simulated terminal that takes you either to an “on-time flight” (correct answer) or “delayed” (incorrect answer), and those delays cause some serious issues. The houseguest who goes fastest wins. Paul goes first, and honestly, he’s kind of awful. His logic makes no sense, particularly in the puzzle area, where he has to work a gondola through a maze and says, “Maybe I have to think like a gondola and be a gondola.” Got it, champ.

Turns out he’s not alone because all six of these guys are pretty terrible across the board. But if there are two who are kind of decent, it’s Ramses and Paul, and you can’t write it better than that. Ramses beats Josh’s time — and remember how well Paul handles adversity? Yeah, he pretty much flips out. He continues to hold the lead until the very end, when Paul snatches the POV by nearly three minutes.

In what could have been a moment of celebration, Paul decides that Ramses has checked off his final box in Paul’s book, making you wonder exactly how many boxes Ramses had to begin with. No one actually knew that Ramses could speak until he stuck his hand in that dumb snake’s mouth last week. Ramses has all the markings of a sacrificial lamb in the same way Jason met his fate so early a couple seasons ago. Ramses hasn’t even been playing, but Paul is too much in his own head to realize that. It’s enough to make Paul question who should leave this week: Cody or Ramses.

Paul gives each nominee a chance to say their peace, and Alex has a funny speech. Ramses is just trying to make up for a messed up moment, and then Josh happens. You remember Josh, right? The super chill guy who screamed at Megan because he was after her? Well, in the majority this week, he loses his business all over Cody. He says that he’s tired of Cody coming after him and says he’d like to see Cody “pop his ass on out of here,” which is Josh’s way of saying, “Cody, I would like you to sashay away.”

It launches into a very dumb back and forth until Jessica says that if Josh is going to give a speech, he shouldn’t shake. Cody tells him to check his diaper, and then Josh calls Cody a meatball, because of course he does. It all ends with Paul taking Josh off the block and replacing him with Cody, and then Josh calling Cody a meatball once more, with feeling.

So there we have it: It’s not too crazy. Ramses is the secret threat that isn’t. Josh still thinks he’s relevant, and the plan to nix Cody is still in motion. What do you think? Hit the comments, and come back tomorrow to see exactly how this plan plays out.

Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.
  • TV Show
  • 20
  • TV-14
Available For Streaming On
Complete Coverage