Bobby Moynihan has more in common with you than you realized

By Justin Kirkland
September 06, 2017 at 09:38 PM EDT
Big Brother 09/06/17 (screen grab) CR: CBS
Credit: CBS
S19 E33

Listen, y’all. I care about you, and you might care about me or this recap or at minimum Julie Chen, maybe, so let’s be honest about the world. In these times, more often than not, we have to choose the best of the worst. Politics. Summer blockbusters. Pop diva albums of 2017. It only makes sense that Big Brother would follow suit. And you know what? This week, it may just be — ugh. Excuse me, that was me choking a little bit because the name I was about to say was Josh.

If you missed last episode, sit down, child; let’s talk. Somehow, Paul convinced literally everyone to throw the HOH competition to Christmas with the intention of eliminating someone in the house other than the person he was talking to. Any other season, this would be a ludicrous strategy, but this season? Hell, sure, why not? You know what? It works. So everyone throws it, with the true plan being to eliminate either Alex or Jason. And when Christmas actually makes her move, Jason and Alex still kind of think that they might be fine because everyone deserves a second chance…I guess.

Paul immediately leans in and tries to make Jason feel safe. And in one of the biggest twists of the season, Jason…might be…on to him? I know. It sounds bonkers, but guys — the man said it himself. In a season where not volunteering to be a pawn is the bar for a “decent player,” realizations like this qualify a houseguest for outstanding gameplay.

And it’s only compounded when Kevin tells Jason that either Jason or Alex is going home. Jason goes to Josh to call him out, and Josh begins to stumble when Jason starts pointing out the obvious. Paul hops back into the conversation to announce that he thinks he’s going to be backdoored.

When Jason calms himself down a bit, he tells Christmas that he’s going to trust her even though she explicitly said that he was her target. It makes absolutely no sense, but Christmas is loving it because that means if they can win veto, then Paul they will continue to stay in charge. And with no reason to believe that anyone will question him, Paul decides to convince them, THE NOMINEES, to throw the veto competition to him. They’re super down for it. Josh steps in, Jason confronts him by saying, “I hear you have an alliance with Christmas,” and there’s an awkward silence before Jason laughs and says, “Just kidding.”

It sets off some alarms for Josh, so he pulls Christmas aside to talk to her about Paul, but she almost immediately shuts that down because Christmas needs Paul and Josh as insurance for the final two. When the team makes its choices for the veto competition, Christmas wants anyone but Kevin to play because Kevin can wait. But of course, Kevin is the first person chosen, followed by Raven. And then Jason gets houseguest choice, and his options aren’t the best: Paul or Josh. He chooses Paul because who doesn’t love being able to seal their own fate?

This veto competition is a big one. Poor Bobby Moynihan was forced to sell his soul to promote his new series, Me, Myself & I, so the winner will choose a guest and go behind the scenes of the show. As if that weren’t enough, Bobby is forced to go in the house and interact with the houseguests. The best part is that after meeting them, Bobby goes to the diary room to reveal that he, too, thinks all these people are idiots for not eliminating Paul. The stars are just like us! For showing up and dealing with these people, Bobby gets to drop info on his new show, premiering Sept. 25 on CBS (wink, wink).
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But this episode is for vetoes, NOT promotional guest spots! In this competition, the houseguests are lightly punched, slapped, and kicked over and over, and they have to remember certain aspects of each experience. The competition comes down to a tie break between Paul and Alex. Let’s recap within a recap, shall we? Earlier, Paul told Alex, a nominated houseguest, to throw the veto competition to him, a not-nominated person. Alex initially agreed, but when it comes down to the two of them, Alex asks Jason whether she should try to win or not. I mean, Jason tells her to go for it, but in what world is this a QUESTION? After a long series of tie-breaker rounds, Paul finally pulls off the win.

After that, Josh retreats to Paul to try to convince him not to use the veto because if he does, it’s going to cause more problems for Christmas and Josh, and it makes Paul look like a hero. Josh goes on to say that it’s “not the best for the three of us,” but Paul doesn’t care. That doesn’t sit well with Josh, so he heads to Christmas to discuss what Paul’s pecking order is. Christmas elaborates, but Josh insists that it’s only to Paul’s benefit.

I hate to admit it more than anyone, but Josh is unfortunately right. He walks away and Christmas chases him down on her scooter to tell him off in the most intense big-sister fashion ever, telling him that he will never walk away from her again. When Raven interrupts, Christmas says, “Don’t do it again.” Raven asks, “What did you do, Josh?” and Christmas retorts, “He knows. You don’t need to.” LORD.

But it’s not enough for Josh, who takes one more shot at saying that Paul isn’t doing this for the group’s benefit, but for his own. He continues to argue that he’s done everything in the game for the betterment of their trio, and again (this pains me, but) Josh is right. Josh’s game, however messy, has been almost exclusively for the betterment of Christmas and Paul, leading back all the way to Paul’s interest when Josh pledged his allegiance to him. And Paul isn’t willing to bend for Josh’s interest, be that good or bad.

So Paul pulls his veto down and makes the decision that he wanted to make all along. He pulls Alex off, saving face with Alex and Jason while still keeping Christmas and Josh in his corner. As Alex is pulled off, Kevin’s face reveals all of his emotions, and it makes sense. Christmas’ speech insists that everyone has been on the block this season, save one person (as if that’s a requirement), and she puts up Kevin in Alex’s place. But here’s the thing: Kevin isn’t alone in that track record…Paul hasn’t been up, either. And Kevin is just verklempt because he did what he was supposed to. It’s almost as if that strategy isn’t a sound one.

And with that, Jason or Kevin will go home. And Josh? Well, Josh is still pretty salty about that veto, so he’s thinking it might be time to start playing the game the way he wants to play it. And since tomorrow night is a double eviction, it might just be the perfect time for him to do so.

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Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.

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