When God opens one door, it might mean you're evicted
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Big Brother 07/20/17 (screen grab) CR: CBS
Credit: CBS
Big Brother
S19 E11
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Holy blue jeans and halter tops, Julie Chen, it’s eviction night! It’s been a week, y’all. Just a lot of praying. A lot of crying. A lot of throwing stuff in each other’s faces: Dominique throwing her frustration in her alliance’s face, Dominique throwing the Bible in Paul’s face, Josh… well, I don’t want to ruin it for you. Let’s just get to talking about all this throwing on Biiiiiig Brother. But first…

After quite a fiery veto ceremony with Paul, Dominique is very much on the outs because she decided to go full throttle this past week. After figuring out Paul’s big plans in the house, she went all in on Paul, and then on veto night, she decided to go in on, well, everyone. So we’re here with the aftermath, the major drama, the perpetually shirtless Mark, and of course, the eviction.

With Mark in quite the position between his (newly minted) BFF Dominique and his make-out buddy Elena, he admits that he has to stay where he’s going to be safest… with a solid make-out buddy. God love him for that. Meanwhile, Jessica is embracing the opportunity to maybe keep herself safe in the face of this Dominique blow-up. The drama has been decided, right? No need to worry… oh, what is that? Mark threw a combination of pickle juice and hot sauce (meant to be drunk by the loser of a pool game) in Josh’s face, and then Josh poured ketchup and mayo all over Mark? And then Josh freaked out because hot sauce in your eye is not safe, and then they yelled even more? Oh, perfect. Wonderful.

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You see, I don’t know if you guys have picked up on this, but Josh has this absolutely insane habit of having a really chill week and then completely losing all semblance of sanity, just because. Week one, Megan. Week two, Cody. Week three, Mark. Dominique, for all intents and purposes, is on the way out, and somehow this Miami Roman candle fires off once a week in an explosion just big enough to make a show. In the midst of his breakdown, Jessica (who is also otherwise safe) decides to chime in and call Josh out, putting the spotlight directly on her, and it makes you wonder: Has Big Brother brought Josh in to completely blow up the house every week? Does Jessica understand how this game works?

We may not solve those mysteries, but we will solve the mystery of who is going to be granted the final Den of Temptation reward, better known as the Halting Hex, which allows someone to stop an eviction from happening. In quite a twist (WHO EVEN KNOWS YOU ANYMORE, AMERICA), Jessica is given the Halting Hex, all but guaranteeing that girlfriend is safe as they come. All she has to say is “Halting Hex Rise, Eviction Night Dies.” Can you even imagine your fav, Bette Midler, singing that? What a time. Anyway, Jessica accepts it because why wouldn’t she? And she might need it because she laid into Josh real hard.

But when the vote plays out, it’s one vote for Dominique after another — so much so that it’s a unanimous vote. Dominique wishes everyone the blessings of the Lord himself, and with that, we watch her go. It’s unfortunate because she really had figured out Paul, and it was just circumstance and playing too hard that pushed her out. As she left, Paul whispered, “Philosophy outside the house,” which means that he’d love to talk to her outside of the house about philosophy, but she’s just not sure she’s able to do that.

But here’s the thing: One of the first four evictees will return, and that has all the markings of a game-changing situation. Who do you think it’ll be? That guy who did a weird last minute striptease, confused Jillian, once-emotionless-now-super-charming Cody, or Mother Dominique? One will return, and at least a couple of those people could absolutely shake up the house. So tomorrow, the four first evictees will battle to come back. HOH will happen on Sunday, and then because of that Halting Hex, the consequence on the house will be revealed next Thursday. For now, let us know: Who do you want to see come back into the house? And this whole Jessica thing! Do we like her again? I’m kind of feeling it, but who knows which way we should go. Hit the comments, and we’ll see you tomorrow for this big return.

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Big Brother
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Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.

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