CBS

Somewhere, Shelli Poole is sitting on her couch and just gently shaking her head

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July 25, 2016 at 06:54 PM EDT

What a time (for Victor) to be alive!

Last time we were together, Victor defeated the Messiah, the Mathlete, Cool Dad Glenn, and Diet Tiffany to return to the game. But other than that, we were left adrift. No HOH, no real reaction to Victor’s return, no legitimate time with a shirtless Paulie. It was, to put it simply, anarchy. And that’s where we pick up tonight — with a lot to make up for and not a lot of time to do it.

It’s day 37 and Victor is SCREAMING, because that’s what happens when you work out by yourself for three weeks without any friends. Everyone else is screaming because the team twist is over (thank God). Unfortunately, everyone (except Frank) is gunning for Victor, because once you’re out of the Plastics, you don’t just rejoin. Or do you? Like I said, Frank is 100-percent open to aligning with Victor, and vice versa. It doesn’t seem to take too long before the tide starts to turn, though. Da’Vonne wants Frank out first, and Frank’s feeling the same about her. Naturally, Nicole is the one passing this information back and forth, because when she’s not wrapped in Corey’s arms and counting his fingers, she’s causing problems and pretending she’s just being loyal. I mean, GUUUUYYYYZZZZ, let’s just get along and also get rid of that snake Da’Vonne or Frank or Victor or anyone except my BF Corey, OKAYYYYY?   

Paul, trying to salvage his former ally’s recent return, starts talking with Paulie about keeping Victor around. Mind you, all these plans start happening before there’s even an HOH.

Speaking of the HOH competition, you wanna know what it is? An endurance contest, set to the Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper that Victor put together to get back in the game. Because we’re blessed beyond OTEV’s measure, we are given an endurance competition that lasts JUST A COUPLE OF MINUTES! Granted, that takes a little bit of excitement away from the feedsters, but still. If you remember, this was essentially the competition James won last year when he became HOH and sent Shelli home. The funniest part? He promised her he wouldn’t. The houseguests have to stand on a plank and skip over ropes passing by while holding their wrist up to keep from pulling a wire. In short, it’s way too much coordination for me.

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Paul with the Good Beard is the first out of the competition, but it takes a while before the next victim falls. At a little over an hour, Nicole gets knocked out as well (#GUYZ). Zakiyah and Michelle follow, with Corey right behind. James tossed Victor a bottle of water (mind you, he asked for it), and Victor moved too much and fell. Frank follows, leaving Natalie, Da’Vonne, James, and Bridgette (essentially Frank). Somehow the competition goes on forever, literally taking everyone into the morning. Natalie goes next, and that’s when we have history’s silly head rearing itself back into the house.

NEXT: As the sun comes out, so do Nicole’s lies

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Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.
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