Hell hath no fury like a reckless version of a former houseguest
Credit: CBS
S18 E13

Do you feel that? The gentle wisp of fresh air upon your cheek? That’s the reverberation of a hair flip heard ‘round the world. Oh, you haven’t heard about the flip? Well, then maybe we should start at the top of tonight’s Big Brother disaster.

Here we are, fresh off the platform from Nomination Station, and Tiffany is still crazy paranoid, Natalie is just happy to be noticed, and Corey is like, “LOL, U GOT SOME SNACKS BRO?” In reality, Natalie is pretty chill because she’s the quintessential floater, but Corey is calm because the Showmance Alliance (with special guest Da’Vonne) has his back.

Do you know who’s not taking it well? Nicole. The girl who essentially proclaimed that she’s not going to let a showmance control her game is now in a showmance, crying in the Diary Room because history has a super-scary way of repeating itself. Tiffany, on the other hand, seems super proud of herself because she’s targeted a big showmance. But the issue is people think it’s Frank who’s carried out the handiwork, as Tiffany is clearly too busy dabbing her eyes and wiping her nose to make any real moves. Right?

Da’Vonne knows the truth, though, because Tiffany was way too jazzed and told her in the last episode. Regardless of whether the house thinks it’s Frank or Tiff, a lot of people are regretting Diet Vanessa hanging around for another week. Golden Boy Corey is up on the block because of it, and Nicole has had ENOUGH of this nonsense. Since it’s not enough that he’s safe for the week, Frank decides to nose around with the house to see what he should do next. Corey feels like Frank put him up, so he’s not getting any movement there. Instead, he goes after Da’Vonne, who honestly just wants to snack on her chips, live her truth, and not get evicted. But Frank’s need for knowledge and Da’Vonne’s allowance for his presence makes Paul, Paulie, and all the other kids start to wonder exactly what Da’Vonne is up to.

And what a convenient time it is for Da’Vonne to join the Veto competition, along with Paul with the Good Beard, the nominees, and HOH Paulie Good Pecs. The competition is ice-cream-based, and by ice-cream-based, I mean everyone wears cute bow ties and fun suspenders. (I admire Paulie from afar as an unachievable goal, but something I should work toward. WHOA… I am sorry for that aside.)

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Anyway, the point of the game is to organize scoops of fake ice cream to match an image put forth on a screen, but you can only move one scoop at a time. You’re also racing a competitor you’ve challenged, so the pressure is on.

NEXT: Et tu, Da’Vonne?

Corey steps up to the competition first and chooses Tiffany to battle. It’s great news for her, because I’m convinced Corey isn’t particularly good at challenges with a visual component. He is athletic, though, so he decides to just copy Tiffany and try to beat her to the buzzer. In quite a twist, Corey beats Tiffany and everyone is hella excited. Sorry, Tiff. Next up is Paul and Natalie, and I’m not going to make any assumptions because I was super wrong about Corey. Paul with the Good Beard completely crushes Natalie and cartwheels to the buzzer (literally).

Paulie calls out Da’Vonne next, mostly because she hadn’t played, but also because he doesn’t trust her. It’s a solid move, especially since Paulie totally crushes her. Corey returns and chooses Paul — to whom he apparently intends to throw the competition — but in the pursuit of $500,000, Corey changes his mind and takes the cake. AGAIN, I beg of you, did you ever imagine Corey would be in contention to win a puzzle contest? No, you didn’t. Neither did I. But here we are — Corey wins, and Nicole cries, Da’Vonne cries, and Tiffany immediately jumps to conclusions and says, “IF DA’ IS NERVOUS, THEN SHE WAS GOING TO BETRAY ME.” She finishes out the night by sharpening her knife while gently whispering “Et tu, Da’Vonne?”

By the way, as the big group of power bros (+Nicole) come together to discuss, did you guys notice that Paul with the Good Beard, who used to be public enemy no. 1, essentially strolls in all super casual and says, “Hai, what’s the plan y’all?” to which they’re just like, “Oh, here’s the deal!” Anyway, the big takeaway is that Tiffany is supposed to go home. Elsewhere, Da’Vonne rolls in to talk to Tiffany and asks a question, but Tiffany calls her out when she tries to bail.

Da’Vonne heads to the HOH room and announces she’s definitely going up. Good Guy Paulie makes the announcement that no one needs to fret because, AGAIN, Tiffany is going home. Tiffany has other plans, though, so she tells Frank how Da’Vonne has been jumping around the house all season. She makes the plan to nominate Da’Vonne and potentially campaign herself to safety.

But there’s only so much time to decide pre-veto. Corey grabs the veto, musters up his best attempt at being serious, and announces he’s going to take himself off the block. Paulie announces the Roadkill winner will secretly choose again — as if Tiffany hasn’t told literally everyone that she was the winner — and that’s when Da’Vonne’s face pops up. Girlfriend LEGIT dances her way to the couch, cuddles with Natalie and WHIPS HER DAMN HAIR AT TIFFANY, glancing at her only to coyly say, “Pissed.” In the diary room, Da’Vonne calls Tiffany a knock-off version of her sister, and I fall to the floor and waterboard myself with wine because I can’t handle this season.

So anyway, tell me what you think! Are you #TeamDa or #TeamTiff? Do you even care? Did you know Michelle is a person who lives in the house? And do you think Paul with the Good Beard is somehow going to magically just exist and cartwheel his way to the finale? SO MANY QUESTIONS, Y’ALL. Mull over all of it until tomorrow, when either Tiffany (likely), Da’Vonne (maybe), or Natalie (LOLOL) will go home.

Episode Recaps

Big Brother
Big Brother

Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.

  • TV Show
  • 23
  • TV-14
  • CBS
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