By jibrilgagale
August 22, 2018 at 11:13 PM EDT
Credit: CBS

From Marcellas not using the veto on himself to Lawon volunteering to be evicted under the belief that he’d receive a special power, there has been a lot of stupidity in Big Brother’s history. But rarely has there been such a consistent record of dumbness from one houseguest or alliance until Faysal and Haleigh. From the consistent blindsides to the pathetic displays of trust to an obviously distrustful Level Six, they’ve proven themselves to be completely oblivious to the way the game has played out. This week was especially messy for the duo. Fessy not believing Scottie is one thing, but setting your last closest ally on the block is damn near fatal as their alliance’s numbers continue to shrink. Scottie has managed to evade the block in the past, but can he sneak his way back to safety tonight?

As we rejoin the house after the nomination ceremony, Level Six seems to be almost in shock as to how well their plan actually worked. “You big buffoon!” Brett yelps in the diary room as he boisterously spells out the stupidity of Faysal putting up Scottie, his own alliance member, next to him. As Fessy explains to Scottie why he was put up for eviction, the lack of logic behind his decision is clear to everyone but him. “I’m not saying you’re lying but somebody’s lying,” is the best explanation he can give, as Haleigh seems to be mid-eye-roll everytime they cut to her. Scottie is simply incredulous as to how this all panned out, telling the diary room Fessy’s either a genius (ha) or really sucks at this game. Either way, Scottie says Fessy better hope he doesn’t win the veto. Haleigh, who believes Scottie was indeed the one vote to keep Rockstar, tries to get Fessy to believe this fact and find a way to undo the whole mess as he’s their one solid number. “We play it safe every freakin’ week and where does that get us? Nowhere!” Fessy retorts, saying that putting up Angela and Kaycee would’ve been a waste of a week, as opposed to putting up Scottie which is a waste of $500,000. Haleigh points out the holes in his logic, namely the whole “Angela and Kaycee being part of an alliance that wants to get them out” thing, and vows to get Scottie off the block if she wins the veto. I’m guessing Haleigh is really starting to regret not leaving Fessy to Kaitlyn right about now.

When the time comes to pick players for the veto competition; Faysal picks Angela, Scottie chooses Haleigh, and Brett lands on the Meryl Streep of vetos, Tyler. Later, Fessy pitches a final four deal to Tyler with the two of them, Angela, and Haleigh as a potential foursome to get the floaters out of the house and make it to the end. The irony of this is not lost on Tyler, who tells the diary room that it’s funny that Fessy’s finally playing the game 60 days in. Tyler indulges this game conversation, as it’s made clear that he’s not getting backdoored this week.

It’s just another morning in the house when Zingbot bursts through the door! Yep, America’s favorite shady robot (sorry, Sam) is back and the comedy writers behind the bot are not holding back. Normally I’d just describe things, but some of these zings are too good not to quote, so here are the best of the night:

  • “People say robots are heartless, emotionless and soulless. Did I say robots? I meant to say … Angela!”
  • “Kaycee, you have all the Big Brother viewers shouting “Let’s go … to another channel!”
  • “Brett, you always seem so fresh and clean, which makes sense because you’re a giant douche!”
  • “Fessy, I was surprised to learn you’re a part-time teacher considering you’re a full-time moron!”
  • “Haleigh, you were so good reading Hamlet, but the real Shakespearean tragedy was your HoH reign!”
  • “Sam, you love to tell everyone how real you are. You are real … real f—ing crazy!”

All that shade, however, was just a prelude to the veto competition. “Zing Force” sees the competitors possess identical folders, each including incriminating photos of themselves and Zingbot. One at a time, they each have three minutes to hide the photo somewhere in the house where it’ll be hard to find. Then they’ll each take turns searching through (and wrecking) the house to find one of these folders. After five of the six are located and placed, the folders will be unlocked and the photos revealed. The houseguest who “hides their photo the best” (a.k.a. the folder that’s not found) wins the veto. Brett cleverly strategizes and uses his runs to create all sorts of chaotic furniture barriers to his folder, making it look like the area’s already been scoped through. With each run, the houseguests completely wreck nearly every room in the house, leaving a concerned Sam (the house’s unofficial den mother) outside to only guess the state of things. Ultimately Brett’s crazed strategy works and he wins the veto, his first competition win of the season (does he get a door prize for this?). Faysal’s unhappy because this means having to choose a replacement nominee; yet another possible enemy at a time when he definitely can’t afford any. Well, when you put up your ally and piss off your showmance, that’s what tends to happen

In the aftermath of the competition, the house looks like all the trucks on the 405 ran through it twice, leaving Sam looking like she’s about to snap (living up to Zingbot’s prophecy already). After Brett shows off where exactly in the have-not room he hid his folder, Fessy and JC discuss who to put up as the replacement nominee. JC, speaking like a man who’s actually a power player in this game (he’s not), insists Fessy not make a stupid move (too late) and put up either Angela and Kaycee as the replacement. Sam, Scottie, and Brett talk in the backyard about how things could pan out post-veto. When Sam asks if Scottie believes Fessy and Haleigh are still in his corner, he says he thinks Haleigh is since she took him off the block when she was the hacker. Sam still doesn’t believe Haleigh was the hacker, and since she had a hand in both Bayleigh and Rockstar’s evictions, this could all be a long game for her. Brett sits silently, taking this all in until the thought of convincing Fessy to put Haleigh as the replacement nominee comes up via Sam. The three have a laugh planning it out and Sam meets with Fessy just before the veto meeting to make her pitch.

“She’s using you as a body double because she can’t win these physical competitions,” Sam says as she makes her hail mary. Things only get more cringe-worthy from here as Sam makes further bizarre statements about Haleigh and wildly begs Fessy for a pinky promise (to very loosely quote Lady Gaga, suddenly the zing is she). When the meeting ends, Scottie makes his own pitch to get Haleigh out, setting her up as “Kaitlyn 2.0.” Scottie says in the diary room he’s all out of options and that this is all he’s got left to stay another week. As Sam giddily hops to the scene, all Fessy can do is laugh and touch his bangs as all this weirdness adds up. He tells the diary room that it’s clear to him that Sam and Scottie are working together to get Haleigh out, but he’s not sure whether to tell her or leave her in the dark. And that’s… the end of the episode? Yep, we don’t even get to the veto meeting tonight. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow night’s eviction episode to find out what exactly Fessy ends up doing, which is almost certain to be the wrong decision if his history repeats itself. The veto meeting is rarely treated as a cliffhanger, so we’re only left to wonder what craziness is ahead.