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Rayna and Deacon collaborate; Juliette finds a personal Jesus in Avery; Zac Brown and Jay DeMarcus guest star as themselves

By Annie Barrett
Updated March 13, 2015 at 07:08 PM EDT
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Nashville Recap
Credit: ABC
CONNIE BRITTON
S2 E12
type
  • TV Show
network
  • CMT

There are two kinds of relationships on Nashville: Either you’re sleeping together or you’re writing songs together. Sometimes it’s both. In agony, it’s neither. Time for some status updates….

Juliette and Avery: Writing together! Soon to be sleeping together, obviously. For me, this pair had the best plot of Wednesday’s episode, “Just For What I Am.” Overwhelmed with doubt after her haters ruined her tour (#GodlessBitch #JulietteSucks), Juliette worried all “this” was gonna go away. Avery helped her remember what it is about her career she loved in the first place — it wasn’t the huge house and tons of cash; it was her love for the music.

Great idea for Avery to go with the “show, don’t tell” method and bring Juliette down to da streets for a twangy duet. Only after re-connecting with the delighted eyes of onlookers genuinely enjoying her talent could Juliette get her groove back, get herself into church for a quick prayer session, and get over to Avery’s to write some sort of redemption song.

Not to mention, Juliette’s Zooey Deschanel in New Girl disguise is a television make-under for the ages.

Look at that facial expression, too! SHE’S A REAL ARTIST.

It also takes a real artist to barf as violently as Juliette did after a vodka bender. The directional change mid-spew was a marvel.

F*cking Jeff Fordham! The Edge Hill boss went on a disgusting rant right up in Juliette’s face. “You think you’re talent? You think you deserve this house? ‘Cause I think you’re just visiting. ‘Cause you’re trailer trash hiding under a pile of sequins.” Uhhh. Okay, first of all, one does not hide under sequins. Sequins serve to embellish and better illuminate one’s God-given talent! Just ask anyone who’s ever associated with Dancing With the Stars. No, don’t. Anyway, Jeff wanted Juliette to apologize to everyone and make amends with God.

“I’m not gonna lie,” she seethed firmly.

It got worse. “You are a lie,” Jeff went on. “An uneducated, mildly talented lie, and you know it. And you will own this sin. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?”

EVIL.

NEXT: Rayna and Deacon keep it on the sweet side Rayna and Deacon: No sex (though yes, forearm sex); no longer writing together. As if! This trial separation will never last — nor should it, not after the pair co-wrote a greasy-pizza-fueled hit single in a single afternoon. But I understand their hesitation, and this “waiting period” coincides nicely with the song they wrote, which was all about “keeping it on the sweet side” and seeing “how it feels to take a slow ride.” They’re pretty much singing about their on-the-mend relationship…not just as lovers, but as co-parents, as accident survivors, as people in somewhat solid relationships pretending they want to be with Megan and Luke more than each other — you name it!

I wonder if this is what Rayna was envisioning when she sang, “I wanna see that ohhh-baby-come-here look in your eyes…”

Oh, and kids — try not to look like you just screwed, okay?

Actually, go ahead and do that. It’s hilarious.

At the Number One party celebrating Rayna and Luke’s single, Rayna and Deacon’s sexual tension eventually culminated in an exquisitely choreographed Arm Sex stunt:

At first it looked like they’d just be shaking each other’s forearms like regular people shake hands. But Deacon managed to work in a bonus under-forearm squeeze, after which Rayna lunged back in for a top-of-forearm double pat. There was more chemistry in this stunning display of Arm Sex than either of them had while making out with their significant others.

But that’s just how they are! And for now, they’ve gotta focus on their own careers. He’s going solo — signed his crap contract earlier that day — and she’s got her label taking off. And they’re both taking off each other’s clothes in their brains. They’re BUSY, okay?

NEXT: Our ethereal doily has soiled herself Gunnar and guest star Jay DeMarcus: Writing together! All he had to do was bump into one of his idols and suddenly Gunnar stands to earn another songwriting credit, this time for Rascal Flatts. Hey, did he have a few free hours today? Say, two o’clock? It’s that easy!

It’s not easy for Zoey, Gunnar’s sex-not-writing partner (and he’ll never let her forget it!), to share her discontent with her constantly flaking boyfriend. But at Dr. Avery’s encouraging (dude should seriously start charging five cents and set up an advice stand in the Bluebird Cafe), Zoey was finally honest with Gunnar and…blah, I’m bored. These two are still together. She promised to “still be here” even if his recent string of good luck crashes and burns. Now I’m picturing a giant pile ashes that used to be Gunnar’s flannels. It’s pretty dark!

Oh well — even if Gunnar never accomplishes anything more, he’ll always have this mental image of his HUGE EYES lording their superb lyrical talent over Luke and Rayna (status: sleeping together, for the $$$):

Scarlett: Still a mess! Our delicate ethereal doily can’t handle all the Press Stress that comes along with being a hot young recording artist. She just wants to sleep! Why can’t anyone recognize that her natural habitat is not “participating in interviews” but rather “nestling in a heap of blankets that are somehow both floral and woven”? (I’m just trying to picture Scarlett’s ideal here.)

NEXT: Should Rayna and Deacon really stay apart? The answer is in blank Post-Its Exhausted at the Gunnar Party, Scarlett takes her angst out on the woman who gave her a chance in the first place: Rayna. After soaking her head in the bathroom sink (yes! tame that mane!), Scarlett exploded: “I’ve lost control over my life! You might have weird, codependent relationships with your ex-boyfriends, but I do not!” She clarified: “Deacon! If you say jump, he will always ask ‘How high?'” Well, that was rude. And this is not about Rayna, honey.

Meanwhile, Luke took a similarly themed jab at Deacon during the party: “It’s nice to see you putting yourself back out there after so many years of being someone else’s support system,” he told Deacon. “You deserve to be out there on your own.”

But Deacon and Rayna obviously still work so well together! Why should they stop collaborating? Do you really think this is the breaking point for them and they have to quit collaborating because otherwise they’ll just have sex? Does sex not fuel amazing country tracks? Y’all better saddle up, is my professional opinion.

And if you don’t believe me — take a cue from this visual. Stick with Luke Wheeler, Rayna, and your post-its that could be full of sexy, collaborative Deaconideas… will be forever blank.

Loose, Gorgeous Connie Britton Wave of the Week:

The one furthest to the left seems to be frizzled with red-hot tension and crying out Deaconnnn! as the love of Rayna’s life walks away.

Oh. And Teddy figures out via Megan (Deacon’s girlfriend), who just so happens to be defending Peggy’s killer’s family, that Donald Stoffel had been terminated from an off-the-books subsidiary of Wyatt Industries — which therefore connects the murder attempt to Rayna’s father, Lamar. “Rayna’s accident…Lamar’s arrest…Peggy’s death… you seem to attract all sorts of bad luck,” Lamar’s lackey with the chiseled face summed it all up for Teddy and any on-again-off-again viewers just tuning in.

Is anyone interested in this story line?

Even though it involves murder?

Fine. Your thoughts on “Just For What I Am”? Discuss!

Discuss!

Episode Recaps

CONNIE BRITTON

Nashville

Legendary music icon Rayna Jaymes struggles to maintain her place in the spotlight while dealing with the ambitious rising pop vixen Juliette Barnes.
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