It’s the season 10 finale of America’s Got Talent, and the fate of a couple of singers, a few comedians, a magician, a mentalist, a little guy with a ladder, a bloke with a puppet, a magic dragon, and a man who can swallow whatever is currently in your kitchen junk drawer has been announced. I’m not the only one who was surprised that the professional regurgitator wasn’t the man standing by Drew Lynch as the final two. Instead it was Drew and Paul Zerdin. The loud round of booing from the audience is proof that we were all confused.
But America voted and Nick Cannon enthusiastically announced that Paul and his little polyester buddy Sam will soon have a Vegas address. I’m not going to lie. I was a bit shocked.
It was a night full of magicians who crashed and burned with invisible card tricks and lackluster guessing games. Uzeyer Novruzov phoned in a routine with non-finalist act Freelusion. Then “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross basically warned Gary Vider that he didn’t stand a chance against Drew Lynch. Spoiler: He was right.
Just when I’m about to hide behind my couch cushion because Jeff Ross makes me so uncomfortable, The CraigLewis Band takes the stage with gospel legend Yolanda Adams to sing “I Want To Know What Love Is” by Foreigner. The Harlem Gospel Choir backs them up as pyrotechnics fall from the ceiling around the time all three artists are performing their best runs. That’s pretty much my sweet spot. Oh look! It’s a female on the stage!
There were moments that made me laugh. I liked the tribute to the wonder that is Nick Cannon — our host, our friend, and our backstage therapist. I also liked the tribute to the wonder that is Howard Stern—our judge, our nemesis, and our favorite curly-haired radio personality. I enjoyed “Buzzer Therapy” where Jerry Springer shepherds some of the more interesting acts (remember that weird kid who could squirt milk out of his eye?) on how to live their lives after AGT.
Of course the highlight of the night was when our professional regurgitator Stevie Starr swallowed a LIVE GOLDFISH. If that weren’t amazing enough, he also swallowed a film canister (remember those?) full of water. Then he put the fish into the canister, put a lid on it, and hacked it back up. Why yes, the fish WAS still alive when he dumped it back into the bowl!
There is no other act like Stevie Starr. He is one-of-a-kind in my opinion and I have no doubt he will soon grace a stage somewhere in his gold lamé jacket. In fact, I don’t think any of the guys in the top five will have a problem finding a job.
And if Paul Zerdin follows in the very successful footsteps of season 2 winner and fellow ventriloquist Terry Fator, he’s definitely going to need a bigger bank account for all the money he will be making. People in Nevada want to see the puppets!
And that’s a wrap on America’s favorite summer talent show. Were you happy? Sad? Surprised like me? Either way, we’ll see you back here next year.