While some favorites choke, Ira has no problem professing his love for Mel B.
It’s the second week of judge cuts on America’s Got Talent. Once again, 20 acts will take the stage, with the hope that his or her performance will be entertaining enough to score one of seven tickets to Radio City Music Hall. At the end of the day, some of the early favorites failed miserably, while unknown performers claimed an opportunity to shine.
And we can’t forget the golden buzzer. Its power tempts celebrity judge Michel Bublé with each new act. Well, except that time he started speaking Spanish to a Colombian mother in the audience, but that’s beside the point. Who did he advance? Which contestant choked? How fly did Nick look in his shiny purple suit? We’ve got all the answers here…
Why you remember him: Learned card tricks while serving five years in prison
Aiden was extremely entertaining. He tossed a deck of cards to the judges and asked each one to look at a card from the deck and memorize it. Then he correctly guessed all five cards in five seconds. It was short and to the point. This is exactly what a magician’s act needs to be and he delivered. Minds = blown.
Why you remember her: You don’t. Her first audition was not televised.
Jenna is a mellow singer who auditioned with a breathy version of Elvis’ “I Can’t Help Falling In Love.” Howard warned her that she needed to own the stage. Heidi commented that she put zero thought into her outfit. I considered both a kiss of death. Spoiler: I was right.
Why you remember her: 87-year-old former Hollywood showgirl
Shirley considers herself a “seasoned citizen.” She’s on the prowl for husband number five. I think she may have her eye on Nick. She sings a delightful version of “The Best Is Yet To Come.” Will people pay money to sit through an entire night of delightful? Probably not. Will people pay to watch her flirt inappropriately with young men? I’m sure some would. Work it Shirley.
Why you remember her: Colombian girl who moved to America to follow her dreams
Daniella takes the stage with an equal amount of nerves and confidence. She’s flat out charming. But when she opens her mouth to belt out “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” in both Spanish and English, jaws begin to drop. The crowd goes nuts when she hits an Eva Peron pose at the end. The judges love her. And Bublé shares the enthusiasm with her mom in the audience. Show off. PS: I love you Bublé!
Why you remember him: He’s a puppet who loves Mel B.
Ira’s puppet mother joins him on stage this round. Even though she’s ticked at Mel B. for “kissing and dissing” her little boy last time, she’s calm down enough to play bass guitar for her son during his audition. Even if we suspend reality for a brief moment, it’s still a touch creepy that Ira sang “Let’s Get It On” with his mom right there. With that said, the polyester duo makes me smile. Go for it with Mel B! Get it on!
Why you remember him: He is legally blind
Benjamin performs an inspirational contemporary routine. He managed to incorporate gymnastics and roughly 45 thousand pirouettes. The fact that he can maintain his balance is astonishing. I’m not sure it’s a winning act though.
Why you remember him: Crazy ladder guy
Give Uzeyer a ladder and he can do anything with it. Seriously. In fact, he can place another ladder on top of that ladder, climb all the way to the top, and balance without blinking an eye. There’s no mat. Just Uze and his ladder. He’s incredible. The best part of the entire act was when he invited Michael Bublé up to the stage to try balancing and Mel B. whipped out her phone to capture the fall so she could post it to YouTube. Never fear. Michael didn’t not fall. Instead of climbing, he twerked. I personally think it was still YouTube worthy. I’d watch it.
The Craig Lewis Band
Why you remember them: Slayed “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” in week one
What I love about The Craig Lewis Band is that these two best friends are completely normal and maybe borderline goofy guys on the outside. But if you hand them a microphone, they transform into soul singers. Their rendition of “I’m Goin’ Down” resulted in a “woo hoo” from Bublé. He even told them that he was tempted to hit his golden buzzer, but he didn’t think they needed help to get to the next round. Everyone loves a tease, Michael! He finally hit his buzzer after tons of encouragement from the audience. The duo cried tears of joy. I can’t say the same for the contestants in the waiting room. Only six spots left.
NEXT: Choking hazard
Dr. Danger’s All-Stars
Why you remember them: Team of crazies who like to blow things up
Dr. Danger’s misfits come in all shapes and sizes. This round, Mini Mike will be leading the charge. He’s going to jump a motorcycle over a gap, through a ring of fire, and then through some more fire. Of course it’s dangerous. DANGER IS IN THE GROUP NAME. Unfortunately, it was also underwhelming. Only one fire extinguisher was used. Wah-wah.
Why you remember them: You don’t.
The Chippendoubles start out clothed in black cloaks and white ominous faces. An Obama impersonator takes the stage, because why not? He tells us that, “Behind every successful man, there’s a powerful woman.” Then Chippendoubles start dropping cloaks left and right. Each “dancer” is dressed as a different female celebrity. Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, and Lady GaGa are all celebrating girl power on stage. There’s just one tiny problem (besides lack of talent) and that’s the small detail that none of the judges know who these women are supposed to represent. If impersonation is your schtick, the last thing you want people asking one another is, “Who’s that supposed to be?” Of course, my favorite character was Mariah. It would have made a bigger impact if Nick hadn’t assumed that performer was supposed to be Oprah. It’s a unanimous NO from all five judges.
Why you remember him: Made Howie shake his hand while he was asleep last time
The deck is already stacked against Chris. Howie hates him for obvious germaphobic reasons. Mel B. appears irritated that she’s been chosen to join him on stage. Michael Bublé is equally annoyed because Chris kept telling him he loves hockey. (Does this dude think Bublé is a hockey player or something?) After five seconds, Mel is escorted back to her chair while Michael sleeps. Everyone is confused. Then Chris starts to discuss what he’s about to Bublé. Michael looks up and says, “I’m in a really deep sleep.” This lack of commitment infuriates Chris. He tells Michael that he hates hockey and leaves the stage in a huff. I kept waiting for the bit. There was no bit. Just cockiness.
Why you remember him: Drag queen with a beard
I had high hopes for Scott. I loved him in round one. Heidi and I were devastated when he choked. He simply couldn’t remember anything after his first line. The judges were extremely gracious, but didn’t give him a second chance. Bye, Scott. We’ll miss you.
Selected of God Choir
Why you remember them: Brought us to church with “The Prayer” in round one
You can imagine my complete surprise when Selected of God launches into a gospel rendition of “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child. And it ended with an a cappella moment that brought the house down! Michael Bublé is convinced they can fill up a theater. We shall see.
It’s time for the judges to make some serious decisions. Bublé is steadfast. Howard is persistent. Mel B. is quiet but says so much with a raise of the eyebrow. Howie wants it all to be over so he can eat Mel’s birthday cake. Heidi wants to keep everyone. I have no idea how they landed on any final decisions, but somehow they did.
First up? Perfectly synchronized female dance crew DM Nation against the saucy ballroom group Center Stage and ab-taculor street dancer Facinet. DM Nation for the win. This was not surprising at all.
The next to take the stage are the five dads from Daditude, rhythmic gymnast Nastasya, and dancer Benjamin. Benjamin gets through. He also receives five sweet hugs from five sweet dads. Nastasya needs to work on her manners.
Now it’s time for the quirky acts. Chris Jones and his bad attitude goes up against the ladder guy and straight jacket dude Wes Barker. It’s a no brainer for all five judges. We’re going to have to learn how to pronounce Uzeyer’s name correctly because he’s going to Radio City.
The next round is a group of audience favorites. Will Colombian songstress Daniella beat bearded Scott and Ms. Shirley? You bet she will. Don’t cry for her, America. Daniella is through.
Next up is fuzzy Ira, crazy Dr. Danger, and card-wielding Aiden. I have to admit that I was shocked that Ira and his mom beat out Aiden. I’m not sure why I’m so surprised. Sesame Street has been around for a long time. I’m not sure its current residents would want Ira’s specific gift of song, but it proves that people love puppets.
And finally, Selected of God stands huddled together beside two-time Grammy winner Ryan Shaw and ethereal Jenna Renae. Pack your bags. Or should I say pack lots and lots of bags. Selected of God lands the final seventh spot.
And there you have the second round of cuts. Were you shocked by Aiden’s elimination? Will Ira go far in this competition? What did you think of The Chippendoubles? Someone should have dressed as Scary Spice. Duh.