America's Got Talent recap: Audition 6
It’s week six of America’s Got Talent. That means it’s time to intersperse really odd acts with kids who force the audience to give them standing ovations because they are so darn cute. The judges are advancing people left and right. Nick is killing it off stage. And no one died during the extreme portion of the broadcast. I call that a definite victory. Let’s see who made the cut…
Japanese Dance Duo
In my opinion, this performance was mediocre. The two women pass a virtual sparkling ball between them using lights and lasers. I’m sure it would have been more intriguing had I not seen the same concept delivered better, two other times this season. The judges do not agree with me. Enra is through to the next round.
When Samantha opens her mouth to sing “Natural Woman,” I thought she had a pleasant voice. When Samantha hit the chorus, grabbed the mic, and stepped away from the stand, I thought she had a powerful voice. All of a sudden, she relaxes into the lyrics. She’s good. The judges think so too. But is it enough to win the show? We shall see.
What you’re imagining in your head is exactly what Paul performed. Except you need to take those hats and fashion a boomerang device on the rim. Somehow Paul manages to throw a hat ridiculously far away from his grasp, yet it comes back to him every time. To top it off, he moves about the stage. At one point, he’s in the audience and on the judges platform. Howard and Heidi vote for Paul to go through. Mel says no and Howie agrees. He thinks Paul is a one trick pony. Howard persuades the crowd to convince Howie to vote yes. Which he does. This excites Paul. If the next act advances, he can carpool with them.
Shoots Arrows at Husband
Meet Silvia and her husband Victor. They happen to be the parents of Paul Ponce. When Paul was a little boy, Victor taught Paul to juggle while Silvia shot arrows at them. Family fun! Silvia’s ensemble looks like something Pocahontas would wear at a Vegas floor show. She easily shoots her first target (two balloons) with a double arrow. Then Victor arranges five balloons on a board and stands behind said board. Silvia loads up five arrows to five different bows all stacked together. One false move and Victor is a goner. Silvia smiles, shoots, and all five balloons pop. Victor triumphantly returns from behind the board, thankfully the medics didn’t have to be called. All four judges vote for Silvia to go through to the next round. Paul hugs them in the wings. A family that juggles and shoots arrows together, stays together.
Heavenly Joy Jerkins
Heavenly is 5 years old. Her aunt calls her “Heav” and you can too. She loves to tap and she loves to sing. Therefore, “In Summer” made famous by everyone’s favorite snowman Olaf is the perfect song choice. On a scale of one to cuteness, she nails it. And if she wins the money, Heavenly says she is going to give it to the poor kids who don’t have clothes. I die. Howard says that Shirley Temple lives inside of her. Heavenly is quick to chime in that Jesus lives there, too. Someone needs to get this kid on Broadway before she reaches that weird awkward phase. Four yeses!
Grand Master Qi Feilong
This isn’t Grand Master’s first time to stand on the AGT stage. Last year, he had Nick kick him in the nuts over and over again. Unfortunately, that resulted in months of therapy for Nick and four buzzes from the judges. This year, Grand Master’s translator tells us that he has channeled energy and can bend it to his will. Nice. Grand Master breaks a chopstick with his throat, bends a spoon with his eyeball, and balances a bicycle with his teeth. Heidi thinks this is stupid. Mel thinks it’s weird. Howard doesn’t think it’s a million dollar act. Ironically, Grand Master is given another chance to absorb energy in the future. He’s through.
Mountain Faith Band
Bluegrass Family Singers
What’s a family to do when they are bored working at dad’s tire shop? Why you form a band of course. And even though all four judges basically admit to hating bluegrass, they are all surprised how much they love a banjo-plucking version of One Republic’s “Counting Stars.” It’s four yeses!
NEXT: Warning—danger ahead
Sweet, sweet Leo is everything you hoped in a 15-year-old comedian. He’s awkward, self-deprecating, and painfully aware of his nerdy exterior. With that said, the kid has the audience rolling in their seats. It works because he’s adorkable. His act is going to be even more amazing when he trades in his video game console for dating. I love him. The audience loves him. The judges love him. Leo is on to the next round.
Trizzie D lines up 45 watermelons and vows to crack them open with his head in order to break a world record. There are only 60 seconds on the clock. When Heidi shouts, “GO,” Trizzie begins slamming his head into each and every watermelon. Around number 30, he starts to stammer. But the audience’s chant of “U.S.A.” keeps him going. Trizzie beats the clock and with a stained forehead, stumbles his way back to the middle of the stage. He’s devoted his life to nonsense and it has paid off! He receives a yes from each judge.
Wild West Express
Trick Horse Riders
The Wild West Express consists of four brothers and one neighbor girl. The five kids wear jaunty patriotic costumes as they flip and fly over running horses. They ride backward, upside down, under the neck, along the side, and any other way you can hang on a galloping stallion. I did like how the youngest boy rode a toy pony. And I also found myself daydreaming that the oldest boy will one day look up and see that the “neighbor girl” is actually a lovely young woman. They will get married and figure out how to do gymnastics on a horse together. Was that just me? The judges advance them to the next round.
Crazy Stunt Family
A handful of twentysomething Godfreys live by the motto, “If you don’t get hurt, you’re not trying.” They feel that America needs to see them fly down a rather large Slip ‘N Slide and then bolt through a flaming hoop. It was dangerous and dumb and highly entertaining. The Godfreys are acrobats for sure. Unfortunately, the judges thought they were having too much fun. Not one votes for these crazy kids. All seven Godfrey’s deflate their slide to head back home to break some bones in the privacy of their own backyard.
Greg likes to jump off of high things. In this case, he chooses a crane that lifts him up 180 feet in the air. Who cares that the wind is blowing 22 miles-per-hour and he could land feet away from his inflatable bag? He’s in it to win it. Greg screams down at the audience who look like tiny ants. And then he jumps. Just for kicks, he throws in a triple flip with a double twist. And he lands on the inflatable bag. He lands hard. Nick rushes over to check if he’s alive. Hooray! He’s breathing! Heidi praises his “big balls” and then gets embarrassed. All four judges celebrate Greg for being a complete idiot. He’s through to the next round!
Nicki is a grandma, a strong woman, and a daredevil. Deal with it. She wears black bustiers, leather skirts, and likes to get blown up in limos. Do you have a problem with that? Her biggest fear is getting trapped in the burning car. Nick reminds everyone to not try this at home. No problem, Nick. One lucky intern rushes over to the car that is doused with gasoline to secure the fuse. Moments later, BOOM! Everyone waits to see if Nicki makes it out alive. And she does! Of course she’s on fire, but that’s nothing a little stop, drop, and roll can’t fix. And even when that doesn’t help, rescuers scramble from everyone extinguishing the flames. Howie thinks Nicki is hot. (Get it?) Howard is impressed that she caught on fire. Mel is thoroughly entertained. And Heidi votes no because she needs to be the prettiest person on the show. I’m just kidding. Heidi was “too concerned for her well-being” to enjoy the act. Regardless, three yes votes are enough to advance Nicki to the next round.
What did you think about this week’s acts? Did you want to see more of the guy in a leopard-print outfit who jumped over Mel B. and Nick? Did you feel bad for laughing at that one dude who couldn’t catch any arrows blindfolded? Were you shocked by the big man who could lift 15 people sitting on bleachers? His head was so red. Talk about 50 shades of crimson.