Several acts fell flat, but we'll always have the dude who swallows weird things.
Credit: NBC

Here are two things I bet you never thought you’d see on the America’s Got Talent final performance episode: Flo Rida singing in front of a passel of Radio City Rockettes. His gold chain necklace perfectly complements the dancers’ gold flapper outfits made of Christmas tree tinsel. It’s clear from this bizarre picture that this a special night. Even the judges all called each other before the show to make sure they matched, but weren’t too matchy matchy. It all comes down to this moment. Here’s a breakdown of the acts:

Oz Pearlman

I have to admit, I was a bit bored when Oz Pearlman correctly guessed which envelope the judges would NOT choose. I was more impressed when he correctly guessed the color of the chairs they would sit in on the stage. When he told them the individual names they selected when he asked them to swear on an actual person that they weren’t in on the act, I was very impressed. But is he Vegas worthy? I’m not sure that answer is yes.

Uzeyer Novruzov

Poor Uzeyer is hurt from last week’s fall and isn’t able to climb tall ladders in a single bound. That didn’t stop me from holding my breath the entire time we was performing. Unfortunately, I don’t think hopping on a ladder like a pogo stick up a few stairs and then hanging from a ladder that drops down from the ceiling is enough to get a sympathy vote from America this week. The judges agree with me.

Benton Blount

Benton definitely struggles to hit all the notes of One Direction’s “Story of My Life.” I guess that particular tune is in a boy band key. Even though the song is the perfect choice for his journey, his performance is definitely lacking. And bathing him in blue lights doesn’t help matters much. I assume this will not end well for Benton. Let’s get him a reality show so we can follow his cute family around all day long.

Gary Vider

Once again, I’m left feeling like one of my favorite acts fell flat. Gary’s slow pace normally doesn’t bother me, but this time it took forever for him to get to the punchline. His jokes about North Korea, Ryan Gosling, and his Jewish heritage are well-written, but by the time we reach the zinger, I don’t really care anymore. There are at least three “boobissippi’s” of dead space in some instances. That’s a little too dry for my taste.

Piff the Magic Dragon

I’m not sure what I think about Piff. He starts off with a simple trick with one of Howie’s $20 bills and that somehow morphs into Mr. Piffles being shot out of a cannon. It was all very discombobulated. One of Heidi’s rings and a rather large nut play a role in the act. In the end, Howie’s money was inside the nut. Piff is all over the map and it is evident that the judges are not feeling him. I’d be surprised if this dragon ended up in Vegas.

NEXT: More performers take on more than they should

Paul Zerdin

Paul Zerdin tries to tackle too much in his final performance. He takes the stage with three different puppets. I thought things were looking up when he swapped voices with one of the puppets. But then everything seems chaotic with Paul attempting to wow the audience with four (including himself) different characters. Howie thinks they all sounded the same, which is a terrible thing to admit to a ventriloquist. Paul leaves the stage defeated. It’s up to America to save him, which is going to be tough considering the act that followed him.

The CraigLewis Band

The CraigLewis Band wonders how they are going to beat mind readers and a dude who eats weird things for a living. Even though I have wondered the same thing, I think I may have the answer: polka dots. The CraigLewis Band look sharp in their coordinating polka dot suits with jaunty red accents. They kill “Beggin’” by Frankie Vallie (or Madcon depending on your generation) and have all four judges standing on their feet. Do you think a singing group can win this competition? I just don’t see that happening.

Derek Hughes

Derek Hughes takes a risk by doing basic magic, and it backfires on him big time. He performs one rope trick. One. His schtick is that he’s allowing the audience to preview the first three minutes of his future Vegas act. If that’s what Derek has in mind, people are definitely going to want their money back. He is so talented! Why did he bring in a deejay and platinum blonde go-go dancers? It was underwhelming. Everyone thought so. I had high hopes for Derek. Maybe he can join Benton in their My Family Is Cuter Than Yours reality show on TLC.

Professional Regurgitator

This guy has to win. His act is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. He swallows thumb tacks and a magnet, then asks the judges how many thumb tacks they would like him to stick on the magnet before hacking it back up. Brilliant. Then he swallows lighter gas, blows it into a liquid soap bubble, and has Nick Cannon ignite the darn thing. Explosions! Anything that ends with an audience praising a Scottish guy with burnt arm hair deserves an act in Vegas.

Drew Lynch

Drew Lynch is definitely a fan favorite, but I found myself wanting more from him, too. His jokes were pretty funny, but not outstanding. Howard complains that he laughs too much at himself. I personally think that his laughing is a coping mechanism or a way for him to “reset” before speaking again. His talent definitely lies in the writing of his jokes. It was just a bit off tonight in my opinion.

Do you think the contestants were nervous tonight? Why did so many crash and burn? Do you think it’s the regurgitator’s contest to lose? I definitely want to see him swallow more weird things. And I’d probably pay money to make that happen.

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