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September 09, 2015 at 03:35 AM EDT

It’s the second round of semi-finals on America’s Got Talent and Howie told each of the 11 acts that they have what it takes to make it to the next round. This is statistically impossible since the official rules state only five can go to the finals. Will it be the funny dragon? Or a darling 13-year-old girl who channeled her inner Ricky Martin? Let’s break down the acts…

3 Shades of Blue

The good news is that the guys of 3 Shades of Blue all stopped cutting their hair because they are committed to looking like a real rock band. I think the lead singer needs to invest in a few bobby pins before their next gig. The bad news is that I enjoyed their pre-performance package song (“Feeling Good”) more than their live performance of “Sail” by AWOLNATION. The head-banging choreography is macho and there is enough smoke to fill a professional regurgitator’s stomach. But I don’t think they have what it takes to beat out a comedian, a ventriloquist, and a magic dragon. Howard agrees with me. The rest of the judges do not.

Gary Vider

Gary Vider jokes about three things during his act: his weak frame, his Jewish heritage, and Mel B.’s boobs. Thank goodness America rallies together to make sure “boobissippi” trends on Twitter. He has the entire auditorium laughing, including the judges. He even has Heidi praise him in German, which of course was the perfect softball pitch for an impromptu zinger. He should be one of the finalists.

Alondra Santos

This sweet 13-year-old sings “La Copa de la Vida” or “Cup of Life,” which was the official song of the FIFA World Cup in a year when Alondra wasn’t even a twinkle in her parents’ eyes. This song was also a breath of fresh air in the 1998 Grammys, helmed by the delicious Ricky Martin. Alondra works the stage like a pro. She sings to the camera, calls out to the audience, and even dances with her horn section. I think the song needed to be sped up just a bit. It felt sluggish. But she did a great job and the judges loved her. With that said, I think she’s in the same boat as 3 Shades of Blue. Someone at the Disney Channel needs to call her and snatch her up before it’s too late.


After securing a spot in the semi-finals, the Freelusion team confessed that they needed to push themselves to the limit. Apparently that means dancing around robots that eventually become Transformers. I understand the performance was supposed to be about technology taking over our lives. Sure this is an important message, but the end result should not be an audience full of people who are checking their Facebook page because they are bored. I think this is the end of the road for Freelusion.

Alicia Michilli

“Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers is a really good song. I would have enjoyed it more had Alicia not been roaming around what appeared to be the inside of a computer circuit board. It was highly distracting. She works the camera and gives it her all, but the performance fell flat. I wish it would have been a stripped down acoustic version. If America had to pick one singer, I assume the vote would go to Sharon Irving instead of Alicia.

NEXT: No broken bones — yet

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