The final five finalists are announced.
Credit: Virginia Sherwood/NBC

It’s the second round of America’s Got Talent semi-finals and only five acts are given the green light to perform during the finale. Nick Cannon is almost unrecognizable without his signature hat. After a quick recap of the night before and a medical report from a slightly bruised Uzeyer Novruzov, Nick wastes no time calling up the Dunkin’ Save candidates.

Uzeyer barely makes it back to his spot on stage before Nick asks him back to the front. He is joined by Freelusion and Gary Vider. I may have shouted a certain expletive when Gary’s name was announced and for the first time this year, I found myself Googling “AGT Dunkin’ Save.” And yes, I totally voted for Gary. #Boobissippi4evr

The first head-to-head on Nick’s list is 3 Shades of Blue and Daniella Mass. Everyone is a bundle of nerves as Nick announces that NEITHER ACT IS GOING THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND. To quote Cher Horowitz, “That was way harsh.” Daniella and Hanson 2.0 are as stunned as the judges. Nick ushers them off the stage with a hearty, “See ya!”

Time is clearly of the essence. Nick asks for Alondra Santos and Piff the Magic Dragon to come forward. Piff easily wins this round and the man in a dragon outfit hugs the 13-year-old goodbye. It’s a crazy world we live in.

Instead of announcing the fate of the remaining contestants, the producers decide that America wants to see Howard Stern brainwashing innocent school children into thinking he is the best AGT judge. This lasted for 20 minutes. Then former AGT finalists AcroArmy performed gymnastics while British girl band Little Mix sang “Black Magic.” At least I think AcroArmy performed. The individuals working the cameras were more interested in the hot girls with fringe epaulets than the acrobats. Moving on!

Nick calls the Professional Regurgitator and Alicia Michilli to the front of the stage. Poor Alicia knew the pending outcome the moment her name came up against Stevie Starr’s. It was written all over her face. How can a sultry crooner ever compete with a man who barfs up million dollar jewelry on command? She can’t. Stevie is through and Howard thinks he may win the entire thing.

It’s down to Sharon Irving and Paul Zerdin. For a moment, I thought this would be a huge upset for Paul because Sharon is so darn good. But he managed to pull ahead in the end. The judges looked a bit ticked off because Sharon was their golden child. Unfortunately, Paul is another golden child. He makes ventriloquism look cool. Maybe even cool enough for people to pay money to see him in Vegas.

With only minutes to spare in the show, Nick announces the Dunkin’ Save winner. Uzeyer Novruzov will live to climb another very tall ladder in the finals! He’s so overwhelmed that he can’t find words beyond, “I love you.” This man has America wrapped around his finger!

That leaves Freelusion and Gary Vider. My stomach turns in knots as Mel B. and Heidi vote for Freelusion while Howie and Howard vote for Gary. It comes down to the Dunkin’ Save percentages. Thank goodness I voted, because Gary Vider wins. You’re welcome America.

What did you think about tonight’s results? Did you notice that all of the singers were denied? Were you surprised that Uzeyer made it through to the next round? It shouldn’t be a problem. Clearly he has nine lives.

Episode Recaps

America's Got Talent
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