Desperate Housewives recap: All's Well That Ends Well
Several story lines come to an end as Porter gets to come home, Edie lets Dave back in, and Bree finds a middle ground with her future son-in-law
Resolutions abounded on Desperate Housewives last night. And even though we’re less than two weeks into a new year (not that you’d be able to tell on Desperate Housewives, which seems to ignore the holidays), I’m not talking the kicking-bad-habits resolutions that are so popular during the early weeks of January. No, we’re talking resolutions as in the end of conflict.
In last night’s rather lackluster episode, a lot of long-standing problems came to a close: Edie and Dave made up and he moved back in; Lynette and her mom finally made peace and Porter’s case was dropped; Susan and Edie made nice after being locked in a basement together for what seemed like hours; Bree fought with — and then made-up with — her future son-in-law Alex; Katherine and Mike had a mini-fight before deciding to commit even further; and Carlos and Gaby even resolved the discipline problems they were having with their little rug rats, Juanita and Celia. With all that resolution, my question is: What do we possibly have to look forward to for next week? Everything seems wrapped up! Except for that whole continually creepy Dave Williams business. The writers are gonna have to cook up some brand new problems to keep us viewers happy.
All of that said, some of the resolutions were good and some were, um, just weird. For instance, the resolution to Porter’s court case and disappearance felt like a letdown. Really? After weeks of build-up — cougar Anne Schilling! the death threat from Mr. Schilling! Porter’s disappearance! the twin switch! — the whole, twisted court case felt totally brushed off: ”I just came by to tell you that the judge threw out Porter’s case for lack of evidence,” Lynette told her cranky mom, Stella. That’s all? Obviously, Porter was innocent, but I thought maybe we’d at least see some court time or something — or some repercussions of some sort? It felt like all of that was for nothing. At the same time, I guess Lynette probably couldn’t have really handled any more stress — there were several times in the last few episodes where I thought she was living on the edge of Crazyville, just about to be elected mayor for all eternity.
However, despite the abrupt end of the Porter story line, a couple parts of Lynette’s story were intriguing. First, her continued cunningness. With the way the show was cut, I was convinced that Lynette had been in a car wreck when we heard the crashing sounds during Tom’s phone call. Natch, they’d never kill off Lynette — or even hurt her majorly, probably — but I thought her tactic for getting Porter to come to the hospital, while cruel, was so clever. Put one in the ”win” column for Lynette.
NEXT: Edie and Susan take it to the basementAnd secondly, I loved the reconnection between Lynette and Stella. Remember when these two used to be so close? Last season, which you’ll all remember was five years ago, Stella helped nurse Lynette back to health during her cancer treatments. Heck, she even cooked her up some pot brownies! (That episode, where Lynette showed up at Susan’s charades party baked out of her mind, stands as one of my favorites ever.) I’d love to see Stella have a larger role in the show again, although with the already sprawling cast of characters, I’m not sure that’d ever be possible. The other great thing about having Stella back was that, while the story lines on Desperate are often totally outlandish and unrelatable to the average person, I enjoyed the reality of Lynette’s decision to put her in a retirement home. That’s just something that everyone has to deal with, and it was handled tastefully. (I think it’s something that hits close to come for a lot of us.) And the resolution — Stella being nicer — was nice fodder, especially after Lynette grimaced when she asked for her flask: ”Hey, I can’t be nice, forgiving, and sober all at the same time.” I love a crazy old lady! Especially one who drinks, too.
Edie and Dave’s reconciliation — he’s moving back in after a short stint living with Mike — was the direct result of the time Edie spent in the basement with Susan, talking about their vastly different approach to men. My first thought about the whole sitch: Haven’t we seen the I’m-stuck-in-a-small-space-with-someone-I-hate thing about a zillion times on Desperate Housewives? During the infamous tornado episode last winter, for instance, there were at least two cases of it, as Edie got stuck with Gaby and then, wasn’t crazy-face Sylvia also trapped with someone else? Anyway, you just had to know that some sort of confession/revelation was coming. The takeaway: Edie claims she isn’t hung up on love and a happy ending because of her deadbeat dad; Susan is looking for fairytale romance. Despite their mutual hatred for each other, they left the basement as semi-BFFs, of course. Typical. And the chat inspired Edie to take Dave back, despite his lying ways. And goodness: She thinks she’s found something real. Poor Edie. If she only knew the extent to the realness.
Speaking of Dave, I’m confused by why Mary Alice made it seem like such a good thing — for the purposes of his revenge, at least — that he was living with Mike for a while. Did he even take advantage of the situation? It was just a couple days! I feel like, more than anything, we just saw him making semi-withering glances behind the drama that was unfolding between Mike and Katherine. And that drama — oh, boy! — was…totally not earth shattering. She obviously wanted to stay. He obviously wanted her to stay. What a conundrum! What should she do? I’ve got an idea: stay! And that’s what happened in the end.
But I guess the ultimate resolution — seeing as how that is the theme of the week — is that they’re more committed to each other than ever before, now that they’ve made their feelings a bit more clear. Oh, and Mike admitted — to Dave, at least — that he is indeed in love with Katherine. So maybe now Dave will target Katherine as a way to hurt Mike? Seem like the sweetest revenge would be taking away someone that Mike really loves. But, even though they’re not totally using Katherine in a great way this season, I’d be sad to see her auf’ed. Can’t Dave get rid of Susan instead? I think Mike would be sufficiently upset if his baby momma was axed.
NEXT: Gaby loses control…of her kidsBree and Gaby’s week of resolution was rather one-note for the both of them. Gaby simply couldn’t get her two bratty daughters to pick up the toys after Carlos went off to his high-paying job. Her bringing in the lawn guy Reggie was rather genius — and effective! But whaddaya know? Carlos came home and told the girls to listen to Gaby. You’d think if Gaby’s story line was so throwaway, it’d at least have some good sound bites — but not so much this week. I guess I chuckled after Juanita commented that they didn’t need Carlos to make so much money, that she didn’t care about it, and Gaby replied, ”Hey, what’d I say about that kind of language?” Oh precious Gaby, you’ll never change, will you? I sure hope not.
Meanwhile, in Bree’s world, in a rather odd moment, Andrew’s fiancé Alex told the supreme homemaker that he’d rather not hear her emasculate Orson like she does. (Don’t question the Bree!) Naturally, that set Bree off into over-correction mode and an ensuing fight where Alex decided he couldn’t take the house she’d bought for he and Andrew. My thoughts: Bree’s a bitch, and she always has been. That’s why she’s so great. Her over-the-top prim and perfectness is why she’s amazing to watch. Get used to it, Alex. Is she really going to change for you? Despite her promises, I truly doubt it. Just like I did for Gaby, I’ll say it again: I sure hope not. Desperate wouldn’t be Desperate without Bree humming at a perfect 10 at all times.
How are you feeling about all the resolution, TV Watchers? Where do things go from here? Will Susan really be alone now that Jackson seems to be out of the picture? Where do you think the story line would have gone had Gale Harold not have been injured and unable to work? And why the heck does Edie so enjoy referring to Susan as simply ”Mayer” now? She sounds like some sort of football coach!
Eva Longoria Parker, Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, and Felicity Huffman star in the soap set on the dangerous Wisteria Lane