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December 05, 2018 at 11:00 PM EST

On this week’s episode of A Million Little Things, we open on a flashback of the guys playing ball. We know it’s a memory because Jon’s there. Mid-game, Gary tells the guys he has breast cancer and they laugh it off, thinking it’s some weird joke to make up for the fact he’s losing. Then, Jon first, they realize he’s serious.

Back in the present day, Gary checks his chest and underarm area for bumps. He’s still at Ashley’s place after their hookup at the end of last week’s episode so she’s the first person he tells that it’s the one-year anniversary of him beating cancer. Ashley, of course, already knows, having managed Jon’s calendar so long; Jon would go with Gary to every chemo appointment, you see.

When Gary gets home, he happily tells Ed and Rome about sleeping with Ashley. They start to protest that Jon had always warned them that she was off limits, but Gary argues that he also had told them to be happy so… Eddie can shut up anyway because if anyone was off limits it was clearly Jon’s wife! Anyway, Gary’s still pretty mad at the guys for being okay with watching Maggie die and he ends up yelling at them once again when they both bail on that night’s hockey game. He storms out and goes to his room where he finds the hat Jon gave him to cover his bald head during chemo. In a treatment flashback, we see Gary and Jon bonding with the male nurse and some lady named Linda (who is a classic Linda). Jon and the nurse even perform a rendition of Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us” complete with pelvic thrusts. Gary vomits…due to the chemo and Jon grows serious, telling him he’s going to beat this.

On the female front, Delilah drives Maggie to a talk she’s doing at a college in western Massachusetts. Speaking to college kids about complicated bereavement is on her bucket list. Both Maggie and Delilah choose to ignore the fact that Mags has a literal bucket list and head off on their road trip. They soon stop at a gas station where a flirty man asks Delilah out, prompting her to wonder if it’s time to take off her wedding ring. If she takes it off, she feels like she’s being unfaithful to Jon once again, if she doesn’t she feels like she’s perpetuating a lie that her marriage was perfect.

When they arrive at the college, Maggie’s speech isn’t getting much attention from the bored students, so she changes tactics and starts discussing her brother’s death instead. She was just 22 when it happened and she’s ashamed to say she felt a moment of relief when she found out he’d died because she could finally stop worrying that he was going to hurt someone else or himself. But in the end, her relief made her feel worse. She shares that she has so many feelings that she hasn’t processed because she’s too ashamed to admit them. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you complicated bereavement at its finest! (Also, not totally sure I’d want Mags as my therapist anymore?) In the car home, Maggie tells D it’s taken her six years to be able to say those things out loud. Maggie then asks Delilah where she’d travel in the past if she had a time machine. Delilah says she’d return to two years ago before Jon became distant and shut her out. She realizes that was when she should’ve taken off her ring or when she should’ve started fighting for him. (Recap continues on page 2.)

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