Naomi presses charges against Mr. Cannon, Navid meets an underage porn star, and Liam gets caught in... a coke ring?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: AnnaLynne McCord is the best part of 90210. And last night, she proved it again by giving us a glimpse of all the colors of the Naomi rainbow—bitchy, scared, confident, relieved, and more. Let’s look back on how she and the rest of the gang fared.
Naomi and Oscar
I never, ever thought I would see these two paired up, but let me just say: GENIUS! Now Naomi isn’t the kind of girl to be easily swayed. Exhibit A: She was not in the least bit impressed by Oscar’s (awful) British accent—probably because he’s actually American. But this partnership bloomed over something far less superficial. Earlier in the episode, Naomi—with the help of noble teacher Ryan—decided to press charges against Mr. Cannon (huzzah!). This resulted in Cannon’s temporary suspension, and sadly, Ryan’s too. (Gotta love the guy for revealing his drunken incident for the greater good, no?)
Like clockwork, Oscar happened to run into Cannon outside school and was excited to meet a fellow Brit. During the chat, Oscar detected not a Chelsea background in Cannon’s accent, but a Dagenham one. Oscar, the unintended sleuth! Might Cannon be an impostor? That was exactly what Naomi wondered when Oscar rattled off these details. With potential dirt on Cannon, Naomi was interested and Oscar was interested that she was interested. The two did a little internet research, during which Naomi kinda sorta had to reveal indirectly that Cannon had raped her (McCord’s nervous embarrassment here was perfection). It turned out that Miles Cannon was just an alias for the scoundrel’s true identity, a Mr. Douglas Atherton. I felt my heart racing with excitement for some imminent police action, but Cannon wasn’t dumb. He fled his coop, which didn’t seem to bother Naomi or the girls. They were just happy to see him driven out of their everyday lives. True, but aren’t they worried that—oh, I don’t know—he might still try to terrorize them in the future? Just a thought.
Now that Liam was living in Laura’s pool house, he had to do pretty much anything she wanted. And so Laura took him along while she ran errands for her quote-unquote handbag collection. First thought: Animal print beret + sequin jacket + striped top + pleated skirt = not good. Second thought: Laura was totally this girl when she was younger. Sure, it was pretty bad that Liam had to sit around a school party carrying multiple women’s handbags, but it was definitely not as bad as finding out that his new boss/girlfriend was using the handbags as a vehicle for selling cocaine. Did not see that one coming! It’s always the ones you least suspect, no?
A giant statuette to the first person who can name one riveting thing about Navid’s leadership award plot. (Rated Zzzzz.) In any event, Navid and the ever-annoying Harper were neck and neck for the school leadership prize. You can imagine how much his porn-producing father wanted him to succeed, but Harper’s dad, who was recently laid off (topical!) wanted it bad—like “no wire hangers!” bad. So Navid, being the aw-shucks sweet guy that he is, withdrew his name from the running, giving Harper the scholarship prize and some air to add to her pumped-up ego.
NEXT: For those of you who’ve been waiting for an “underage teenage porn star” plot line, you’re in luck!
The more interesting subplot for Navid was obviously his porn-star locker mate. Navid is nice and all, but who makes that big of a deal about meeting and greeting the person who stores her books next to your own? He kept telling her he had seen her somewhere before, but unnamed porn student wasn’t happy that Navid knew her from her, um, work. Was Navid skeevy for watching his dad’s erotic films? Maybe. But his dad took the prize for ultimate grossness since unnamed porn student was a junior, and thus, underage. I was just thinking about all of the issues 90210 has hit—drug abuse, homosexuality, rape, domestic abuse, the economy—and I realized underage sexual exploitation was glaringly missing. Thank you, 90210, for remedying that!
I’m all for Teddy’s coming-out story, but could it be moving any slower? How much longer before Teddy sees the metaphoric light? At the beginning of the episode, rumors had spread that Teddy, as Dixon put it, was “shooting pool with a rope.” In other words, ladies don’t quite tickle his fancy any more. Teddy tried to convince Dixon—and himself—that it was only because he wanted Silver back, but he was fresh out of luck because Silver wasn’t interested. So Teddy swapped out one vice (alcohol) for another (marijuana) at the Undies school party, and nearly crashed his car with Navid and Dixon in it. He stormed off, claiming he just wanted to be alone, but I can’t quite understand why he was fighting his feelings considering how charismatic of a host Ian was. You can’t find that pizazz just anywhere, young man!
Ivy and Dixon
When Dixon asked Ivy to rewind time so they could be together again, she gladly agreed in order to forget that whole sex-with-Oscar thing. We could tell Ivy’s secret was eating her up inside because it resulted in a really unnecessary conversation about the merits of Beck’s placement on a playlist. It must’ve gnawed at her so badly that she came clean to Dixon at lightning speed—in TV time. It made sense that Dixon was mad, yet I couldn’t help but hear the words “We were on a break!” in my head.
What did you guys think of an episode that skimped on Annie, Adrianna, Jen, and Mama Wilson? What are your thoughts on this Oscar-Naomi pairing? Sound off below!
DO YOU AUDIBLY GASP WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE AT A COCKTAIL PARTY WHO CLAIMS NOT TO OWN A TELEVISION? (WE’RE GASPING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.) Then don’t miss this week’s TV Insiders podcast! Annie Barrett, Dalton Ross, Michael Ausiello, Michael Slezak, and Clark Collis talk about their favorite Halloween episodes, plus the creepy new series Dead Set and The Walking Dead. Plus, our EW couch potatoes dish the latest happenings on Survivor and Dancing With the Stars. Click here to download the TV Insiders podcast to your MP3 player, or listen to an embedded version below!