Could the kids of West Beverly start senior year any other way?
90210 Senior Year
Credit: Michael Desmond/The CW
S3 E1
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Welcome back, West Bev-ers! As Navid told us multiple times, it’s senior year, and in real life, it means high schoolers are excited to skip class, not do homework, and party with their friends. On TV, no one does homework anyway, so I’m not sure why this year is that different.

Anyway, things got started with a bang — quite literally — when an earthquake struck the school. The quake was more important figuratively than literally, because, really, what are crumbly buildings without seismic relationship shifts?

Annie and Liam
Annie confessed to her parents and the cops that she was the culprit in the hit-and-run, but a summer of lawyers and probation didn’t leave much time for guys-you-like-but-can’t-like-because-your-friend-used-to-date-them. The best solution she thought of? Ignore all of his calls. She was in the dark about anything Liam-related, including the fact that he was kicked out of his house after confessing (everyone’s confessing!) to his stepdad that he stole the rare coins. Without a house or a boat, the homeless Liam faced more bad news when Annie told him she just wanted to be friends. It was a part of her no hiding, no lying campaign, which seemed to cramp Liam’s style, big time. Clearly this relationship will be danced around this season, but my question is: What is this internship she’s going for? And why is she desperate enough to do ”it.” Oh, 90210-you do cheesy cliffhangers too well!

Dixon and Ivy
Dixon, having skipped the trip to Australia with Ivy after all, was counting down the days, minutes and seconds until he saw her because that’s what adolescents do. Ivy continued the surfer girl brigade, wearing crop tops and bikinis. But her newest accessory was a slimy Brit named Oscar, a family friend who’s staying with Ivy and her mom for the time being. Seeing that Oscar is a free spirit like Ivy (He cuts school! He rents Jet Skis!), Dixon was rightly concerned that Oscar has a thing for Ivy, but if he only knew that he has a thing for Ivy’s mom, too! Those Europeans.

Adrianna and Navid
Sweet and innocent love is great in real life, but it has no place on primetime television. I’d love to see this couple shake things up, but for now, we’re just dealing with Javier’s sudden death (no more Diego Boneta songs during the episodes?) and Adriana’s flailing career. That means singing songs she didn’t write that were meant for somebody else, but, hey, like her boyfriend said, the stuff she wrote herself was never really that great. If your boyfriend can’t tell you you suck, who can?

NEXT: Sail on Silver girl…

Silver and Teddy
It seems Silver bounced back from Teddy’s family drama (with a hip, short ‘do no less!), but the quake didn’t fail to muck up their relationship either. Teddy ruined any chance of recovering from his knee injury (courtesy of the quake) by jumping back onto the tennis court too soon. He found solace not in his girlfriend (”Obviously you don’t understand because you’ve never been great at anything,” he tells her), but in a flask. And because TV timing is impeccable, Silver later found him with a scantily-clad Naomi. But he was just trying to save Naomi from embarrassment! Ugh, it’s like a scary movie. Don’t go in that room! Look behind you!

Which leads me to Naomi, a.k.a. the best plot line so far.

In the hellish rape aftermath that is Naomi’s reality, Mr. Cannon was back at West Beverly even though he had said he’d be in London. Sure she pressed charges for rape, but the queen bee fell into a downward spiral of embarrassment, shame, and alcohol. Got to love Naomi — she remedied the situation the only way she knew how: shopping — and apparently, a rather painful, unnecessary cameo from Kim and Khloe Kardashian, with a plug for their boutique (seriously, isn’t a spinoff show about running the boutique in Miami not enough?). But a clearly in-pain Naomi thought her fashion reputation wasn’t the only thing she need to maintain. What about her coquettish reputation? The quick fix was a drunken strip session that put her in hot water with the least of all victims: Silver.

It was so much drama for Naomi that I was almost glad Jen wasn’t in last night’s episode. Speaking of baby mama drama, Ryan was still sad that he’s not allowed into his fetus’, life and Papa Wilson was somewhere 45 minutes away, not privy to any of the drama — and the fact that his principal parking spot was being painted over.

Next week, Adrian Grenier stops by, but let’s hope these are the last of the celebrity cameos. I like my West Beverly kids just the way they are.

What did you guys think of the premiere? Was it a welcomed welcome back for you, too? Will Oscar take the creepy spot previously occupied by Jasper? And anyone else anxiously anticipating Teddy’s coming-out?

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