Last night’s 30 Rock, “Brooklyn Without Limits,” made a complete mockery of the Tea Party and liberal hipster doofus espresso-heads who think Urban Outfitters is ‘zing. Virtually anyone could find a way to be offended…or they could just “do the right thing” and laugh! But let’s be honest: The episode was really all about Liz Lemon’s ass. Those new jeans made her look like a Mexican sports reporter! I’m ASS-uming the first shot, in the mirror, was an ass double (prompting her to ask “Is that really me?”) but the rest was 100% Pure Lemon. From the back to the middle and around again…“Back it up, back it up, drop it like it’s hot. I will haunt your dreams.”
Jack had to burst Lemon’s bubble (butt) once she started questioning his morals in his attempt to save the company by thwarting the re-election of congresswoman Regina Bookman (Queen Latifah). Guess what, Lemon? Halliburton owns your precious “green” store, the liberal media you trust so much, and pretty much everything. God, you’re so ‘norant. The fair-trade, local-artisan-friendly Brooklyn Without Limits was crunchy on the outside, right-wing nut job on the inside. “Like Ann Coulter’s underwear,” explained Jack.
Guest star John Slattery played the anti-Roger Sterling to hilarious, over-the-top effect. Meet Steve Austin, the baby-talking independent congressional candidate from Rhode Island. He’s the wrestler if you’re blind and the Six Million Dollar Man if you’re senile. Coming soon to a gynecological nightmare near you! I’m loving the Mad Men contingent on 30 Rock — can we please get the entire cast to visit NBC and play bumbling fools? I can see Bert Cooper comforting Lemon in a very special episode about her foot phobia, and Lane Pryce as a potential candidate for Wesley Snipes’ father…. (I know these aren’t their real names, but I’m going through withdrawal, okay?)
Meanwhile, Jenna helped Tracy plan for a Golden Globes event — the Hollywood Foreign Press was interested in his film Hard to Watch, based on the book Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate. Jenna’s plan was to get Tracy to bribe the members for a Globe — something she’d tried to do herself after starring in the original Lifetime movie Sister, Can You Spare a Breast? (HA! I’m Lizzing! Mother, May I Play on Words?) But after witnessing his award-worthy performance as a guy whose mother had just exploded, she felt her drunk-in-the-bathtub face and changed her mind. Tracy’s Samuel L. Jackson look was a brilliant touch.
NEXT: My top 10 quotes, even though every 30 Rock episode is like one big quote.
My 10 Favorite Lines/Moments from 30 Rock‘s “Brooklyn Without Limits”
10. Liz’s shout-out to the tragically discontinued Hershey’s Tastetations hard candies (I’m probably harboring a few myself, in a rarely used pocket of some old purse. That’s So Lemon!)
9. “Our generation never votes. It interferes with talking about ourselves all the time.” –Jonathan
8. “This isn’t a conversation!” –Jack to Jonathan
7. “You know how they make their stitching so small? Orphans.” –Jack
6. “I trust award shows. They tell me how much to care about different dead people.” –Lemon, who once claimed her “husband” drowned to get out of a gym contract
5. “When you win, I’ll be furious. Like waking up next to Rob Schneider furious.” –Jenna, who’s still jealous of all the attention Baby Jessica got
4. “Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old, male doctor.” –Lemon
3. “Morality getting in the way of making money? I may as well be a teacher.” –Jack
2. “Compromises are for lesser souls. Die, Werewolf Zombie!” –Tracy, who just learned about ‘air quotes’
1. [gasp] “Lesbian Mario Bros!” –Jack’s horrified reaction to Lemon’s shorteralls
Honorable Mention: Jane Krakowski’s camera-winking plea for a People’s Choice Award, “where the fans are in charge.”
Would anyone else totally marathon America’s Next Top Black Guy on a rainy (or perfectly sunny) Saturday? Or vote for Steve Austin? Discuss last night’s 30 Rock below!
This week’s ’30 Rock’ recap paid for by the vending machine in the paintball place.
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett
EVER WISH EW.COM HAD A RADIO STATION? Quit living in the past, man or lady! In this week’s TV Insiders podcast, Annie Barrett, Dalton Ross, and Michael Slezak grade the first week of Conan, pick the funniest Modern Family character, and discuss the trouble with the Survivor: Nicaragua cast and Bristol Palin’s improbable run on Dancing With the Stars. Click here to download the TV Insiders podcast to your MP3 player, or listen to an embedded version below!