November 17, 2010 at 02:20 PM EST

Daddy issues: Not only are they real, but they can be devastating. Markai’s father was absent for much of her childhood, and the years she spent waiting and hoping, only to be disappointed, caused her to grow up extremely fast. She was hellbent on not becoming a single parent and wanted to ensure her child — whenever she had one — would have a relationship with both of his or her parents. “I told myself if I was going to have a baby, that baby’s going to have a daddy, no matter what,” she said. Nice in theory, but can it really work that way at 16?

Markai was a high-school senior on the path to veterinary school — not motherhood —  but maybe she should have added condoms to her curriculum. (Or, as her younger sister so poetically put it, “Close your legs!”) To Markai, though, having a baby meant having an instant family, even if the man in her life was apprehensive about commitment. When she and boyfriend James got pregnant very early into their relationship, he assured her he’d “take care of [his]” which led her to believe they would make this work. Well, they had to, because as she told him, “breaking up is never an option.” Translation: You better not leave me, now pass me my spit cup!

Oh, James. It was hard to miss him and his signature long dreadlocks, which his friends believed were keeping him from getting the job he so desperately needed. They felt he was better suited for a dread-mullet — maybe it’s his face-shape? — inspired by the style icon Billy Ray Cyrus. (Whoa! Looks like trends are coming out of this little Florida town, because Billy’s bringing the mullet back! What are the odds?) Cue the makeover montage. What, wrong show? Guess we’ll have to wait for next week’s episode of America’s Next Top 16-Year-Old Pregnant Model.

But along with his coiffure, James’ MySpace habbit was also likely preventing him from securing a full-time position. He looked much more natural lounging on the couch than speaking with managers at local businesses and asking for a job. That said, for future reference, here’s a pointer: Next time, bring your own pen to fill out the requisite paperwork, buddy.

MySpace also created a rift in the expectant parents’ relationship, making Markai insanely jealous and James incredibly lazy (why get a job when you can collect unemployment?). First Markai became paranoid after learning James had been communicating with his ex, but he assured her she had nothing to worry about. But leave it to a random ex-girlfriend showing up uninvited, telling stories about how she and James had been together two weeks into his relationship with Markai, to cause their alleged strong relationship to crumble. Oh yeah, and James and said skank didn’t use a condom either. Ugh. That’s enough nastiness to make anyone feel crazy, and the public humiliation made Markai — who had recently returned to her high school — feel even worse. With her sister Samarra in tow, she stalked James down on the side of the road, impulsively jumped out of the car, and left it parked in the middle of the lane. As traffic whizzed by, Samarra looked scared (“Oh my god, I’m gonna die!”) and confused, but sprung into action with a completely logical question: “Hey do you want me to move the car?” She may not be old enough to drive legally, but there’s no age requirement for having a license in common sense.

NEXT: Things take a turn for the violent.

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