Your Pop Culture Horoscope for August

Happy Leo season! As the winds of entertainment shift from the popcorn to the prestige, we’ve looked to the stars to determine what your pop culture obsessions will be this month, for every sign in the zodiac. First things first, though: No matter your birthday, definitely do not commit to watching a TV show with anyone while Mercury is in retrograde, beginning Aug. 13. Such a contract will surely be broken, and one of you will be forever marked as an unfaithful Netflix-and-chiller. You have been warned. Now, read on to discover your pop culture horoscope for August!

Gosh, it’s August, okay? The rest of us want to relax a little, Aries, so could you please just chill out for one second? Ha, just kidding! What a notion! Every other person and every other movie might be lazing around all month, but neither you nor Step (Aug. 4) will be lagging in the energy department for a single second. You’ll be even more fired up than usual (can you imagine?) after becoming invested in the story of this inner-city Baltimore high school step team, which won Sundance’s U.S. Documentary Special Jury Award for Inspirational Filmmaking. This one’s got your name all over it, Aries.

Let’s just be clear about one thing right up front, Taurus: You will not have to leave your home to watch ‘90s House (premieres Aug. 16 on VH1), so don’t rule it out just yet, okay? Just trust us. Imagine: A bunch of millennials surrender all the things that make them millennials, then turn back the clock two decades to immerse themselves in the totally rad ‘90s. Lance Bass will even be there! Isn’t it wonderful to feel, if only for a short time, that some things have stayed exactly the same?

Darling Gemini! This month, you’re going to see Ingrid Goes West (Aug. 11), and you’re going to love it. It’s so clever and witty (just like you!) and offers such sharp commentary about how empty and superficial social media really is and how truly damaging it can be, which is so, so worth talking about. It will totally make you think and make you laugh, and you’re honestly just going to have such a fantastic day at the movies. Definitely don't forget to wear a cute outfit and Instagram a pic with your Sour Patch Kids.

You just had a birthday, Cancer, so you’re a little partied out for the moment; wind down in August with a little solitude and a good book. At a brisk 240 pages, you’ll tear through Danzy Senna’s New People quickly, but the novel’s gripping story will occupy your powerful imagination and its shrewd observations on race and class will tear at your empathetic heart for the rest of the month.

Don’t pretend, Leo, that you haven’t obsessively followed the drama of Camila Cabello’s exit from Fifth Harmony — how very Pisces of her — or that you didn’t love every second of the “Work From Home” music video. You’ll be listening carefully to the group’s upcoming album (out Aug. 25 and titled Fifth Harmony, as if to reinforce that they’re not “Fourth Harmony” now) to see if they’re still worth it, and if they can still produce dance jams worthy of partying on your level (it is your birthday, after all), and if they allude to Cabello’s departure. But also, like, kind of rude they never called to offer you her spot?

As you patiently await your own birthday season (you’re always patiently awaiting something, aren’t you, Virgo?) you will fall head over heels for the charms of Tulip Fever (Aug. 25). Just look at that still of Alicia Vikander! How beautiful is that? Look at the composition of the shot; look at the blue of the dress! Yes, you will be fully on board with Tulip Fever. Even its release date drama — it was shot over three years ago and originally scheduled to hit theaters in July 2016 — makes perfect sense to you. I mean, why even bother releasing a film if it doesn't come out at exactly the right moment?

As the summer winds to a close, you’ll be in a romantic mood (very similar to the mood you’re usually in when the fall ends, or when the first flower of the springtime blooms, or on a dark night in the middle of winter, or etc.) and have the time of your life indulging in some nostalgia when the 30th anniversary of Dirty Dancing (Aug. 21) rolls around. Nobody puts Libra in a corner.

The lazy days of late summer are not your vibe, Scorpio, but luckily the Criterion Collection will match your intensity this month by adding Sid & Nancy to its library on Aug. 22. While all of your silly, shallow friends are sipping rosé at their Bachelor in Paradise viewing parties, you will be sitting alone in a dark room and immersing yourself in the tortured punk-rock love story of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen (a Taurus and a Pisces, bless their hearts). Good for you.

Steven Soderbergh may be a Capricorn (could the auteur behind Sex, Lies, and Videotape be anything else?) but it seems he’s got his sights set on you this month — yes, you, Sagittarius! — with Logan Lucky (Aug. 18), which marks his triumphant return to the big screen after a three-year hiatus. There is exactly a zero percent chance this movie will bore you. It’s a heist comedy starring Channing Tatum! How can that possibly not be a great time? Soderbergh called it “an Ocean’s movie that’s up on cement blocks in your front yard." What’s not to love?! Go buy your tickets already! What on earth are you waiting for?

With the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana (a true sweet Cancer if there ever was one) looming at the end of August, we’ve got a month full of peak Capricorn programming ahead. You will of course find the upcoming barrage of TV specials and documentaries about the People’s Princess to be valuable and instructive, as it will contribute to your understanding of a highly influential cultural figure. But you’re always drawn to such sad stories, Capricorn. Don’t let the tale of the tragic royal reaffirm your pessimistic tendencies.

The first time you saw Wet Hot American Summer, you didn’t even blink at a single one of the bizarre subplots or wild inconsistencies, did you, Aquarius? Then, when First Day of Camp rolled around, and the narrative backtracked as the cast aged even further out of their roles, even that probably struck you as perfectly correct somehow, didn’t it? Now the timeline is zipping ahead so fast that any other sign might get whiplash, but you are ready to serenely take in Ten Years Later (streaming Aug. 4 on Netflix), which will surely speak to you just as fluently as that talking can of vegetables.

Having already spent countless lonely hours listening to “Praying” on repeat, tears streaming down your cheeks as you brokenly whisper “I hope your soul is chaaaanging” to yourself, August means one thing to you: The release of Rainbow (Aug. 11), the first studio album from fellow Pisces Kesha in nearly five years. I hope you find your peace, Pisces.