'A friend had cloned his beloved dog, and I was very impressed with that dog.'

By Dana Schwartz
March 02, 2018 at 07:25 PM EST

There is probably no more succinct, perfect representation of the bubble in which the exceedingly rich and famous reside than the fact that Barbra Streisand cloned her dog. That detail, revealed in an interview with Variety, sent the internet into a tailspin of gleeful confusion. What!!!? Why?!!! How!!!? Is that even a thing?!! 

Streisand, always one to give an audience what it wants, penned an essay for The New York Times discussing her lab-grown pups. Here, in her own words, are why she decided to clone her late dog, Sammie: “A friend had cloned his beloved dog, and I was very impressed with that dog.” Has there ever been a more lyrical, fascinating sentence in the English language? That is a sentence from my favorite yet-unwritten George Saunders short story. I want an entire science fiction universe built around that single sentence.

The actress and singer also provided details to the actual cloning process: “Sammie’s doctor took some cells from inside her cheek and the skin on her tummy just before she died. And we sent those cells to ViaGen Pets in Texas.” The cells eventually yielded a litter of four, one of which died as a newborn, and one of which Streisand gave to the daughter of one of her staff.

And there you have it. Barbra Streisand lives with two dogs cloned from her now-dead pet. She wrote about it in The New York Times. Nothing you or I ever do in our lives will ever even approach the nonchalant insanity of her glorious existence.