The World Cup is a wonderful occasion. Countries from all over the globe come together to put aside their differences and compete in the beautiful game: Soccer (or football if you’re literally anywhere else in the world).
But while we’re all basking in (often borrowed) patriotic pride and rejoicing over last-minute goals and saves, it’s hard not to notice how ridiculously attractive, like, 100% of the players are. The legs! The abs! The man buns! It’s a feast for the eyes with something for everyone.
Because there’s too many hotties to keep track of, EW has compiled a list of some of the most smoldering soccer stars gracing the fields at the 2018 World Cup. Don’t say we’re not good to you.
Rúrik Gíslason: Iceland
Go to Iceland to see the Northern Lights, they say. Go to Iceland to see the likes of Rúrik Gíslason, we say. Seriously, can you look away? Can you? Download your screensaver now.
Gerard Pique: Spain
If you can snag a gal as fine and fierce as Shakira, you gotta be doing something right. Gerard, please Pique me!
Alisson Becker: Brazil
AKA the Brazilian Liam Hemworth. And he eats gloves like a real man!
Ramadan Sobhi: Egypt
We’d be hard-pressed to find someone who wouldn’t want to feast on him.
Neymar Jr.: Brazil
We can’t ever imagine saying no more to Neymar.
Martin Olsson: Sweden
Ah, Sweden. The home of well-written pop songs, social progression — and many beautiful soccer players, it would seem.
Sergio Ramos: Spain
Never has a man benefited more from a haircut. The Spanish captain sheered off his flowing golden main back in 2012, giving us the opportunity to see his super-guapo face more clearly.
Jack Butland: England
The obvious caption is far too inappropriate, so we’ll just let your imagination run wild here.
Yann Sommer: Switzerland
And you thought the best thing to come out of Switzerland was chocolate. We’d never eat another morsel of the sweet stuff if it meant running ours hands through Sommer’s slick locks. To Sommer-ize, we’re into him.
Cristiano Ronaldo: Portugal
So maybe being the world’s best player ever is impressive or whatever, but we’re sure Ronaldo is way more proud that he’s included on this list.
Jonathan Dos Santos: Mexico
Dos Santos? More like ONE MILLION Santos, please.
Jonas Hector: Germany
If Jamie Dornan traded Ben Wa balls for soccer balls…
Tomoaki Makino: Japan
Those cheekbones and jawline are sharper than any precise, non-penalty-awarding tackle, in our eyes.
Alfredo Talavera: Mexico
Marco Asensio: Spain
The Spanish midfielder is sure leaving a Marco on my heart this World Cup.
Manuel Neuer: Germany
If we played for Germany, all we’d do is try and score own goals. The dreamy goalie can keep(er) our hearts forever.
Ruben Loftus-Cheek: England
We just hope he’s as Cheek(y) as his name suggests ;)
Kim Shin-Wook: South Korea
More like Kim Win-Shook, amirite?
Thorgan Hazard: Belgium
His name has “Thor” in it. Can you Hazard a guess to why I’m so smitten with the Belgian player?
Patrick Pemberton: Costa Rica
So maybe his name makes him sound like he attends Hogwarts, but the Costa Rican goalie doesn’t need magic to cast a spell on us.
David de Gea: Spain
Replacing the beloved Iker Casillas was no small task in terms of both talent and looks, but damn does de Gea, (along with his man bun and facial hair) measure up.
Mathew Leckie: Australia
G’day, mate. We envision a long life of barbies on the beach, bush walks in the Outback and surf lessons with the Aussie player.
Nicolas Tagliafico: Argentina
Can we Tag(liafico) the Argentine left back as our life partner?
Maya Yoshida: Japan
Won’t you be Maya(n)?
Thomas Lemar: France
We’ve not felt such strong patriotism for France since Les Miserables. Vive la France!
Duje Caleta-Car: Croatia
Duje think he’d date us?
André Silva: Portugal
The Portuguese striker can Silva into our DMs any day.
Fabian Delph: England
Can we be part of your family forever (read the tattoo), Fabian?
Arkadiusz Milik: Poland
Pretty sure we could learn how to pronounce the Polish striker’s first name, if we were introduced.
Hey, Nahitan! Wanna come explain all those tattoos to us in great detail?
Morteza Pouraliganji: Iran
Perfect smile: check. Perfectly coiffed hair: check? Perfectly groomed beard: check. Essential elements for a world-class soccer player? No check, but important nonetheless.
William Troost-Ekong: Nigeria
Troost us, he’s a hottie.
Roman Burki: Switzerland
Burki can be the (Roman) emperor of my heart any day.
Haris Seferovic: Switzerland
Sweat never looked sexier than on a Swiss striker.
Dusan Tadic: Serbia
A quick Google image search will reveal the Serbian midfielder’s a fan of taking his shirt off. Game-changing news for us all.
Jose Carvallo: Peru
There’s no doubt the Peruvian goalie is a total keeper.
Ante Rebić: Croatia
We’d need an anti-Rebić to keep us away from the Croatian winger.
Edinson Cavani: Uruguay
Filip Kostić: Serbia
Would it Kost(ić) us our dignity to admit our devotion to the Serbian soccer star?
Miguel Borja: Colombia
How much do you want to be where that ball is right now?
Sergio Aguero: Argentina
A top goal-scorer on the European soccer scene and a top heart-stealer on literally any scene.
Emil Forsberg: Sweden
Why so serious? Probably because Forsberg hasn’t looked in a mirror recently — that’s all it’d take for him to remember how ridiculously attractive he is and turn that frown upside down.