Bono says his sunglasses actually stop him from shooting lasers from his eyes 'like Cyclops from the X-Men'
Bono has climbed the highest mountains and run through the fields, but he still couldn't escape a few slipups throughout the years.
The U2 frontman, whose new memoir, Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story, hit bookshelves Nov. 1, jokingly apologized for a collection of absurd faux pas he's made in a hilarious segment called 'Apologies to Look Forward to in Bono's Next Book' during his extended interview on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
First things first: his unique eyewear. "I'd like to apologize for wearing sunglasses," he said, reading from a cue card Colbert had given him. "You see, when I take them off, I shoot lasers out of my eyes like Cyclops from the X-Men."
Unfortunately, the "With or Without You" singer isn't actually a member of the Marvel superhero squad in his downtime between releasing Grammy-winning records. Bono explained the real reason he sports shades in a 2014 appearance on The Graham Norton Show: He's battled with the eye disease glaucoma for more than 20 years.
He's also aware that the band's music contains some false promises. "Our 2004 album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb does not actually contain instructions as to how to dismantle an atomic bomb," he said, holding back laughter, on The Late Show. "Just 11 really great songs."
Bono continued, "I'm sorry, because after we released [the 1984 album] The Unforgettable Fire, I totally forgot about the fire."
And finally, he waved a white flag toward his bandmates. "Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr., I'm sorry you're stuck working with guys who call themselves Bono and the Edge," he joked. "I didn't realize we could just use our real names."
There is one thing Bono admitted he'll never forgive himself for, though: flaunting a mullet in the '80s. "It upsets me," he told Colbert. "We're all dealing with s---, you know?"
"In the decade taste forgot, the '80s, the mullet was a kind of David Bowie lab experiment that went wrong," he explained. "We all thought we were going to get it like David Bowie. It didn't really look like that. And a man should really not look like his hair has been ironed, I don't think."
While he may have been business up front, Bono doesn't exactly wanna party when he looks back at the hairstyle. "Can you imagine Live Aid, one of the most incredible moments of anyone's life as a concert, fighting famine, organized by my mate Bob Geldof and Queen and just incredible artists, you know, in Philadelphia and London and broadcast all over the world? I see that back now and just go 'Oh, bad hair day.'"
Bono did genuinely apologize for one mishap in an excerpt of his book recently published in The Guardian: giving everyone a free copy on U2's 13th album, Songs of Innocence, on iTunes in 2014.
"I take full responsibility," he wrote. "Not Guy O, not Edge, not Adam, not Larry, not Tim Cook, not Eddy Cue. I'd thought if we could just put our music within reach of people, they might choose to reach out toward it. Not quite. As one social media wisecracker put it, 'Woke up this morning to find Bono in my kitchen, drinking my coffee, wearing my dressing gown, reading my paper.' Or, less kind, 'The free U2 album is overpriced.' Mea culpa."
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