This theory might cost you your sanity

Max Landis has a warning for anyone about to check out his latest project: “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here,” he quotes the line above hell’s door from Dante’s Inferno, now emblazoned on a new website. It’s not a movie or a television show he wrote, but rather a 150-page “living document,” as he calls it, about Carly Rae Jepsen.

The site is called A Scar No One Else Can See and the document lays out The Jepsen Pattern, a theory that argues the “Call Me Maybe” singer secretly sings about the same thing.

In a video announcement for the manifesto (see above), Landis is tied into a straight jacket and spirals into insanity as he argues that Jepsen is “a pop star who sings the same story again and again on all of her songs: three albums, two EPs, dozens of singles, and all of her unreleased music, even her covers, even her TV show theme, even her Christmas music.”

As an example, “Mittens,” is “supposed to be a Christmas song but it’s not a Christmas song,” Landis says in the video. “Only the chorus is about Christmas. The actual song is just about getting dumped and wanting forever the person who left you.”

The introduction for the extensive analysis goes much further. “What you’re looking at, what you’re about to read, is a living document,” Landis writes. “I wrote it as I researched, and it is not without growing pains. You are experiencing a living document; you will be discovering the phenomenon alongside me. As you proceed through the manuscript, you’ll see my formatting and song analysis evolve. If you go through completely with this, you’re definitely going to see connections between songs that I missed.”

Landis continues: “The Jepsen Pattern, once you understand its rubric, is about as subtle as a brick to the face. When I started my analysis of Emotion in the fall of 2016, I had no idea that themes, ideas, and even specific lyrics would echo back over a full decade to Jepsen’s, unreleased, first EP. I was still just starting to engage with the scope of what was going on in Jepsen’s music.”

In a statement to EW, Landis wrote the project was meant as a “celebration” of Jepsen and was “100 percent” in her favor.

For those interested in reading 150 pages of Landis’ analysis, download the entire document or read it in parts directly on Landis’ site. Either way, fall down the rabbit hole and “uncover the pattern.”