'Me taking this time right now is me saying I want to be SUSTAINABLE,' writes Bieber in a heartfelt letter

By Nick Maslow
August 03, 2017 at 09:48 AM EDT

Justin Bieber is opening up about his reasons for canceling the remainder of his massively successful Purpose tour in late July, saying that he wants a “sustainable” career.

In a letter shared on Instagram Wednesday, the 23-year-old pop star began by thanking fans for their support. “Im grateful for the tours but most of all I am grateful i get to go through this life WITH YOU.!” wrote Bieber, who was recently banned from performing in China. “Learning and growing hasn’t always been easy but knowing I im not alone has kept me going. I have let my insecurities get the best of me at times.”

He also discussed his personal life, penning, “I let my broken relationships dictate the way I acted toward people and the way I treated them! i let bitterness, jealously and fear run my life.!!!! I am extremely blessed to have people in the past few years help me build my character back up reminding me of who I am and who I want to be!!!”

Though the Purpose tour was “unbelievable” and taught him “so much about myself,” Bieber ultimately felt compelled to cancel his remaining dates for his own well-being, he revealed. “Me taking this time right now is me saying I want to be SUSTAINABLE,” Bieber explained. “I want my career to be sustainable, but I also want my mind heart and soul to be sustainable. So that I can be the man I want to be, the husband I eventually want to be and the father I want to be.”

In a statement on July 24, the “Sorry” singer’s rep initially cited “unforeseen circumstances” as the reason for the cancellation and noted that “Justin loves his fans and hates to disappoint them.”

Bieber received support from fellow musicians John Mayer and Michael Angelakos in the wake of the news. “When someone pulls remaining dates of a tour, it means they would have done real damage to themselves if they kept going,” Mayer tweeted. “We’ve lost so many great artists lately. I give Justin [two thumbs-up emojis] for realizing it was time to call it. You should too.”

Angelakos, lead singer of Passion Pit, retweeted Mayer’s message and detailed his own struggles with touring. “‘Mental health reasons’ went over REALLY well when I had to cancel shows 5 years ago (in a hospital receiving electroconvulsive therapy,” he wrote in a series of tweets. “Was pretty rough but then my drs and I worked out a relatively manageable balance btwn treatment and touring. Toured for over two years. <3”

On July 26 — two days after the cancellation — Bieber made headlines again when he accidentally hit paparazzo photographer Maurice Lamont with his truck. The victim suffered non-life threatening injuries and was transported to Cedars-Sinai hospital, where he later recorded an Instagram video calling Bieber a “good kid.”

“I think the truck was a little bit too big for him, though, because there’s no way he could see over the front — it was the slope it was on,” said Lamont. “But like I said, he got out, he was compassionate, he’s a good kid, accidents happen.”