The singer also discusses the meaning behind 'Rainbow' and why she decided to be a 'motherf—ing woman'

By Derek Lawrence
July 18, 2017 at 06:10 PM EDT
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Kesha will release Rainbow, her first album in five years, on Aug. 11. It’s day she admits she didn’t know would ever come.

In a personal and reflective interview on Elvis Duran and the Morning Show, the “Praying” singer opened up about her return to music and getting through the last few years in which she’s been embroiled in an ongoing lawsuit against producer Dr. Luke.

“I just didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to put out music ever again,” she told Duran. “I really didn’t know and some days it felt like I was kind of clinging onto this ghost of an idea — that got me through a lot of years. You know sometimes it felt more real, sometimes it felt less real, and I kept waking up and I’d say, ‘Okay, you can’t just lay in bed, you got to get up, you got to go to the studio,’ even when I really didn’t want to I would. It’s kind of a testament that you got to show up for yourself.”

The result of her tenacity and resilience is her third studio album Rainbow, with the title reflecting a time and mindset before her recent tough times.

“The reason I wanted to name this record Rainbow is because I kind of associate healing with kind of going back to my child-like mind because before I got all twisted and turned and beaten and heartbroken and all those things,” she shared. “Everything was magical and I didn’t understand it and the world was so big and beautiful and I trusted everyone and everything and it was just so perfect and wonderful. I’ve done a lot of healing. I kind of reference that a lot what’s left in my heart is still made of gold, you know? You heal what you can and keep going.”

Earlier this month, Kesha released “Praying,” the debut track off Rainbow and her first solo single since 2013. A week later, she followed it up with the “feminist, empowerment anthem” “Woman,” where she declares herself a “motherf—ing woman” throughout the chorus.

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“On this record I really just didn’t want any boundaries on anything,” she continued. “I was like, I’m going to write songs that if I want to say the f-word, I’m going to just say it and the people that don’t want to listen to that one, they can skip it if they’re offended by the f-word. But it’s a super empowering song about being a mother-effing woman and how you’re good without a man and how you can buy your own things and you’re self-sufficient. It was meant to be kind of a feminist, empowerment anthem. To me the fact that there is a bad word in it, yes there is and I say it lots of times, but it is with good intention… For me it always comes back to intention and this record has the best of intentions.”

Watch the full interview above. You can pre-order Rainbow here.