The 10 Saddest Summer Movie Deaths of 2017
10. The stripper (Rough Night)
Did he have dialogue? Maybe. Did he have a name? Sure, why not. Did his pivotal death squander eight perfectly good abs? Absolutely. Like the summer smell of trash in Manhattan, a true hot waste.
9. Bubble (Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets)
Rihanna’s 15-minute cameo as a shapeshifting alien burlesque dancer remains the single best part of the visually arresting, narratively insane Valerian. Tragically, her character’s fatal injury during a hectic escape scene is treated like an unceremonious afterthought; she moans something like “I must have gotten hit” before shifting into Cleopatra in Dane DeHaan’s arms and dissolving into a heap of garbage. ANTI deserved better.
8. McBurney (The Beguiled)
Colin Farrell doing shrooms would be one hell of a YouTube video, but in the context of Sofia Coppola’s evocative adaptation, it’s a recipe for a predictable murder that unfortunately spells more chaste misery for Kiki Dunst.
7. Delphine (Atomic Blonde)
Sofia Boutella's French agent was smart, hypnotic, exorbitantly charming, and woefully strangled by rival spy Percival (who, as was revealed probably six times in the same movie, was a double agent!). On paper, Delphine's death would have been super sad... had we not been so angry that yet another interesting gay character was introduced only to be inelegantly expended.
6. Steve Trevor (Wonder Woman)
You didn't go see Wonder Woman for Chris Pine, but perhaps you returned for round two (and beyond) because of the comic combustion between his brash pilot and Gal Gadot's superhero, which culminated in a noble self-sacrifice and a potentially supportive boyfriend tragically cut short.
5. Captain Barbossa (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales)
Hot take time: The fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie was actually super fun. It was also surprisingly emotional thanks to another summer movie sacrifice. After five movies spent terrorizing Jack Sparrow and sashaying across planks like a pallid Mozart, Hector Barbossa exited with panache after revealing his parentage to his long-lost daughter and saving the day by tossing himself onto Javier Bardem to drag him to the bottom of the sea. Really, there are worse reasons to toss oneself onto Javier Bardem.
4. George (Dunkirk)
Poor, poor Georgie. Out of all the devastating (and surprisingly few) departures in Dunkirk, the loss of the well-meaning stowaway at the manic hands of a shell-shocked soldier stung particularly hard.
3. Antiope (Wonder Woman)
Wonder Woman's even more wonderful aunt went out in a badass blaze of glory, taking a German bullet for her niece Diana and thereby meeting her end shockingly early in the film. In the little screentime we did enjoy, Robin Wright's beloved Amazonian showed herself to be an inimitable influence on Wonder Woman and a dominating force for the women of Themyscira. Miraculously, General Antiope will reportedly be back in Justice League...but somehow it doesn't feel likely that a flashback will do this heroine nearly enough justice.
2. Yondu (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)
Moviegoers always seem to love That Thing Where a hardened antagonist becomes not only a beloved asset to the good guys, but achieves ultimate redemption by revealing devastating moral depth in a final act of self-sacrifice. (It's a very specific thing.) Michael Rooker's red-finned Ravager will go down in history as both Peter Quill's truest daddy, ultimate savior, and one of Marvel's strongest short-lived cinematic creations.
1. Caesar (War for the Planet of the Apes)
As a standalone trilogy, the Planet of the Apes reboot has been wildly underrated in all three stunning entries. Upon its completion this summer, though, the series reached new heights of emotionality when leader Caesar, having only ever played a reluctant hand in the global conflict that wiped out mankind, finally dies. He expired quietly and poetically, watching the sunset fall over his tribe of surviving apes, having finally guided them to a lush, promising new homeland before succumbing to his battle wounds. Yes, humanity is over because of him, but honestly, we're not even mad about it.