By Jaxx Blum
March 13, 2020 at 06:39 PM EDT
Jaxx Blum
Credit: Illustration by Kirsten Ulve for EW

After an operatic negotiation in which cell phones may have been thrown, EW is thrilled to announce that Jaxx Blum, licensed PR professional, has joined our staff as our newest contributing writer. Jaxx is Hollywood royalty, a confidante to the mega-stars and semi-stars, an image maker nonpareil. And if all literature is gossip, he’s a regular Tolstoy. Read his latest column below, and follow him on Twitter for all your Hollywood scoop and snark.

Ahh, spring in Los Angeles. The Academy Awards are officially once upon a time in Hollywood, the jacaranda trees will soon be blooming, and it's Aries season, which means that your favorite kombucha-fueled publicist is at his full power. (I'm an Aries sun, Scorpio moon, and Blanchett rising, in case you couldn't tell.) Spring cleaning is in full swing, so everyone is Kondoing their condos and looking for new representation, whether they're the hot young thing who just got their own Quibi show or the room-temperature older thing whose 2019 awards season ended worse than the birthday party in Parasite.

And not to Taron my own Egerton, but everyone wants to work with yours truly, the guy who fooled the world into thinking Joker was an Oscar movie and squashed the Olivia Colman burrito scandal. (What Olivia Colman burrito scandal, you ask? Exactly.) I've signed a dozen new clients in the past few weeks, including Coach Monica and the CG dog from that Harrison Ford movie. (Not Shia LaBeouf, the other one.)

But I'm mostly gearing up for this summer's biggest project: Baby Yoda's Emmy campaign. I'm this close to booking my greenest client for the cover of Variety's Aliens on Aliens issue, but we can't agree who to pair him with; I nixed the Na'vi (blue and green clash), so it'll probably be that thing from Annihilation or Rooney Mara.

And, Simone, make sure to ask about the catering for Lil Yoyo's photo shoot — it's been hell trying to get fresh frogs in this town after Kermit led that crusade, and you know how bad he gets when his blood sugar drops. I've worked on enough quixotic Oscar bids to know how and when to duck, but it's hard to dodge a Veja sneaker (toddler size 2) that's been Force-chucked at your head.

To read more, pick up the new issue of Entertainment Weekly beginning March 17, or buy it here now. Don’t forget to subscribe for more exclusive interviews and photos, only in EW.

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