Every Fast & Furious trailer, ranked
Remember when we could have nice things?
Back on Jan. 31, 2020 (we were all so naive, weren't we?), all eyes were on Miami for Super Bowl weekend. But two days before the Kansas City Chiefs and San Fransisco 49ers took the field, the big game took a backseat to Fast & Furious, with the cast descending on South Beach for a concert event to premiere the trailer for F9. Concerts! Events! Other people!
And no matter what happened in the Super Bowl, it never stood a chance at living up to the epicness that was the first look at the latest adventures of Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his super family, considering the four-minute trailer itself might have been the best movie of 2020.
The world is a very different place from when we learned that John Cena is playing Dom's brother and Han (Sung Kang) is alive, and the release date for F9 has already been moved twice due to the COVID-19 pandemic. While all of our fingers are crossed for May 28 to finally be the day, we felt it was important to commemorate the momentous one-year anniversary of the trailer for the ninth installment in this ride-or-die franchise.
And so here is the extremely scientific ranking of every Fast trailer, which is not to be confused with the very different ranking of every Fast movie.
10. Fast & Furious (2009)
Best Line: There's not much dialogue here, so instead let's give it to Dom's laugh (if that is what we're calling it).
Most WTF moment: Putting yourself back in 2008, when this trailer first dropped, remember how different entertainment news and the internet was. We didn't know every movie that was coming out for the next five years, or even the next month. So, imagine sitting in the theater, waiting to watch Fool's Gold, as one does, and this trailer comes on. You're intrigued, but what is it? And then, boom, Dom is revealed at the 1:15 mark! You're going to be running home to hop on your dial up and get tickets on Fandango.
MVP: Whoever came up with the tagline, "New model, original parts."
9. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
Best Line: "I got a problem with authority." —Roman (Tyrese Gibson), who would somehow top that in the actual movie with his multiple deliveries of, "We hungry."
Most WTF moment: The 2 Fast trailer isn't heavy on WTF moments, but Brian's (Paul Walker) "stare-and-drive" move on Monica (Eva Mendes) is as steamy as a car ride with no touching can be.
MVP: Tyrese in a landslide. This is how you make a Fast introduction!
8. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
Best Line: "Bad guy." —Brixton (Idris Elba), being asked who he is. Too bad they saved him declaring himself "Black Superman" for a future trailer.
Most WTF Moment: The amount of times that we hear the words "Hobbs" and "Shaw."
MVP: Idris Elba. You've got to love seeing the most charming movie star we have chewing some scenery as the villain in a Fast movie!
7. The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Best Line: "Your family is about to go up against the only thing they can't handle: You." —Cipher (Charlize Theron), doing some perfect bad guy narrating and shocking us with the reveal of Dom breaking bad.
Most WTF moment: We're still trying to come with grips on why Dom would turn his back on the family, and then the trailer ends with Dom and Cipher making out in front of Letty (Michelle Rodriguez)?!?!?! You immediately walk away needing answers.
MVP: The submarine. I repeat, they have a submarine. Oh, did I mention it's a nuclear submarine? Sorry, also forget to say that it smashes through the ice likes Jaws on steroids. Yes, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), you will need a bigger truck.
6. Furious 7 (2015)
Best Line: "I don't have friends, I got family." —Dom, summarizing the whole series and just barely beating Hobbs' iconic, "Daddy's gotta go to work" as he flexes out of a cast.
Most WTF moment: Um, how about Brian hanging from a bus that is about to fall off a cliff, and then climbing it, running on top, and jumping off and onto Letty's car just in time.
MVP: Paul Walker. The actor, who was the heart of Fast, died before Furious 7 completed filming, and with audiences not knowing how the goodbye to him and his character would go down, it was hard not to be hit right in the feels when Diesel finishes saying the line above and the trailer ends on Brian. And we had no idea that we'd eventually be crying our eyes out as "See You Again" played him off at the film's conclusion.
5. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Best Line: "When you drift, if you ain't outta control, you ain't in control." —Twinkie (Bow Wow), both explaining and not explaining what drifting is.
Most WTF moment: When it finishes and you realize that, despite seemingly no non-car connections to the first two films, you're all in.
MVP: 2006. What a time that was to be alive! Bow Wow surely misses it.
4. Fast Five (2011)
Best Line: "Above all else, we don't ever, ever, let them get into cars." —Hobbs, arriving in Rio to hunt down Dom and Brian. The biggest disappointment here is that we don't get more of this Hobbs speech, because it was an all-time Fast introduction for Johnson.
Most WTF moment: The tease of Johnson and Diesel beating the crap out of each other. And the final product was even more brutal and badass than could have been expected.
MVP: Justin Lin, who directed Tokyo Drift, Fast & Furious, Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6, and returned for F9. Fast Five, a.k.a. the greatest film ever made, was a gamechanger for the franchise, and much of that was thanks to Lin taking the action, on full display in the trailer, to new heights.
3. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Best Line: "Let's go for a ride." —Dom, convincing Brian and us to ride shotgun on this journey.
Most WTF moment: JaRule getting promised a threesome if he wins a race. I bet he regrets losing — and turning down a bigger role in 2 Fast.
MVP: The music. Ever since the original film, Fast has definitely headed more in the hip-hop direction, both in casting (Ludacris, Cardi B) and the soundtrack, but the use of rock in the film and Limp Bizkit in the trailer is so 2001 and so perfect.
2. Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
Best Line: This is by far the most loaded field we've had. Like, it's hard to get off to a better start than Hobbs tracking down Dom and saying, "It wasn't that hard to find you, Toretto," and Dom confidently replying, "Wasn't hiding." Or, when is a movie not enhanced ten-fold by the inclusion of "I need your team." Or, the simple but effective, "Ride or die." And yet, it's hard to get better than Tej's (Ludacris) delivery of, "Uh, guys...they got a tank." Yeah, they do!!
Most WTF moment: A mid-credits scene in Fast Five revealed that Letty was alive, so only the family is surprised to learn this in Fast & Furious 6, but even we couldn't help but gasp when Dom catches up to Letty and she greets him with a bullet to the shoulder. Damn, that reminds me of another gem from Dom: "You don't turn your back on family — even when they do."
MVP: Michelle Rodriguez and Gina Carano for somehow topping the preview of Johnson and Diesel's brawl with one of their own.
1. F9 (2021)
Best Line: "Jakob is...Dom's brother." —Letty, being really dramatic.
Most WTF moment: John Cena is playing Dom's brother! Dom has a brother! Helen Mirren is behind the wheel! Charlize got a new haircut! Jordana Brewster gets to fight! Half of Lucas Black shows up for two seconds! Oh, only one? Okay, then it's definitely Han being alive. Justice is coming!!
MVP: Justin Lin, who, in an exclusive interview about the trailer, told EW, "The great news is that even with the trailer, there's still a lot that's not being shared, so that's something I'm very proud of." More than that?! We need this movie now more than ever.