By Derek Lawrence
December 10, 2020 at 11:52 AM EST
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Christopher Nolan is ready for a new family.

The biggest event filmmaker in Hollywood has taken a break from ripping his home studio Warner Bros. and its industry-shattering HBO Max move to profess his love for the biggest event franchise in Hollywood (I said it!). Nolan recently joined Josh Horowitz's Happy Sad Confused podcast and spoke of his affection for Fast & Furious, including his "very soft spot" for Tokyo Drift.

First off, here's a quick recap of the director's likes and dislikes. Likes: Fast & Furious, overbearing sound, Han (Sung Kang), the theatrical experience, and the films of Bow Wow. Dislikes: Watching movies at home, making understandable plots, and chairs.

With Nolan at odds with Warner Bros., which has distributed his last nine films, over its decision to premiere its entire 2021 film slate on HBO Max — "the worst streaming service," in his words — at the same time those films hit theaters, what better way to get back at them then jumping to rival Universal and his favorite franchise? Taking a page from Tenet, the latest EW investigation has manipulated time and come back with a report of what Nolan's Fast & Furious movie will look like.

Credit: Emma McIntyre/Getty Images; Giles Keyte/Universal

When:

The Fast family will happily welcome Nolan, but he has to wait his turn. While Nolan is one of the most powerful filmmakers working, Justin Lin is a Fast legend, and Nolan himself knows that better than most, since Lin is behind his favorite film, Tokyo Drift. In addition to that masterpiece, Lin has directed Fast & Furious, Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6, and the upcoming Fast 9. And he's already been signed to helm the final two installments of the main Fast series. But with a plan to keep building the Fast Universe, Nolan can get first crack at a post-Toretto family spin-off.

Where:

Lin is the perfect man to wrap up the story of Dom (Vin Diesel) and crew, and Nolan is the perfect man to finally take Fast to space. Sometimes it's easy to forget the humble beginnings of this group of illegal street racers who enjoyed the simple pleasures of life: stealing DVD players and sipping on an ice cold Corona. In recent years, they've left that life behind to save the world, whether it be by flying cars, redirecting torpedoes with their bare hands, battling submarines, or facing off with "Black Superman." The continued raising of the stakes has often led to the joke that space was next. But, when EW talked to him last year, Chris Morgan, the writer behind Tokyo Drift and five other Fast films, wouldn’t close the (spaceship) door on launching the Fast family off of Earth. “I would never shoot down space,” Morgan told EW. “Never, never. I would literally never shoot down anything, as long as it hits the parameters: ‘Is it badass? is it awesome? Will the audience love it? And will it not break faith with the audience as they’re watching it?’ I’m down for whatever.” In steps Nolan, the man who has built more faith from his following than any other director. I mean, he convinced the world that Interstellar wasn't boring! Give us The Rock recreating McConaughey's famous crying scene!!

Who:

Since I've just brought Dwayne Johnson back as Luke Hobbs, who fronted the first Fast spin-off Hobbs & Shaw, let's round out the rest of Nolan's cast. Beginning with returning Fast alums, let's give him the Shaw in Hobbs & Shaw, Jason Statham, Tokyo Drift star Bow Wow (he really needs it), and Tyrese Gibson, since he and Johnson finally buried the hatchet. As far as Fast newbies, this is a Nolan movie, so Michael Caine is obviously in. While Denzel Washington once passed on becoming Fast, we'll make him jealous by reuniting Nolan with his Tenet star John David Washington. And rounding out this dream team is Tom Cruise. This casting comes after a previous EW investigation, "Who should go to space first: Fast & Furious or Tom Cruise?" And the ruling there was that they should join forces in this mission.

What:

All of these elements come together to create FasTenet. Now, let's be clear that this is not Fast 10. As previously discussed, Lin is making Fast 10 and 11. And yet, this is Nolan, so we're playing with time and things that don't make sense. Borrowing from that Cruise/space investigation, he'll star as a rogue astronaut who is traveling the galaxy and building his own alien army. But who to call to save the day? How about the guys who took down Black Superman? Back together, Hobbs and Shaw recruit old friends Roman Pearce (Gibson) for his fast-talking, which will confuse the aliens, and Twinkie (Bow Wow) for his Hulk car, which will just look cool. Caine joins as a mysterious figure with the keys to the future. How? Well, he's old man Shaw!! And the unexpected twists aren't done, as the time travel element will feature Washington reviving his protagonist character from Tenet. Although, he won't be the actual protagonist of this story, which is confusing but also fitting for Nolan.

Final verdict

This has the potential to be so memorable that not even the guy from Memento could forget it.

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