Move over, Thanos, the MCU has a new villain.
The film world became divided over the last few days following Martin Scorsese’s declaration that superhero films are “not cinema.” Said the Oscar-winning director: “I don’t see them. I tried, you know? But that’s not cinema. Honestly, the closest I can think of them, as well made as they are, with actors doing the best they can under the circumstances, is theme parks. It isn’t the cinema of human beings trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human being.”
The apparently shocking news that a 76-year-old isn’t lining up to see a movie about a talking raccoon and tree prompted Marvel directors including James Gunn and Joss Whedon to express their disappointment, while MCU stalwart Samuel L. Jackson fired back, “Everybody doesn’t like his stuff either.” (He’s definitely looking at you, Hugo!).
So now that we know Scorsese, who returns to his gangster film days with next month’s The Irishman, doesn’t love Tony Stark or Peter Parker 3000, the real question is:
Which Marvel movie does he (probably) hate the least?
There are definitely a few we can easily knock off the list due to their intergalactic settings or sorcery-based activities. I also have a feeling he wouldn’t be big into watching a man the size of an ant or the man the size of a Hulk. That leaves us with a few options: any of the Iron Mans, Spider-Mans, Captain Americas, and Black Panther.
Let’s analyze the remaining contenders.
What Scorsese could tolerate: Robert Downey Jr.’s big comeback.
What Scorsese would hate: Iron Man.
Iron Man 2
Iron Man 3
What Scorsese could tolerate: Tony Stark dealing with PTSD.
What Scorsese would hate: Not enough Ben Kingsley after the Mandarin reveal.
What Scorsese could tolerate: He has experience with the story of a young loner in New York City.
What Scorsese would hate: You lost him at bird villain.
Spider-Man: Far From Home
What Scorsese could tolerate: Mysterio in the second half of the movie.
What Scorsese would hate: Mysterio in the first half of the movie.
Captain America: The First Avenger
What Scorsese could tolerate: The WWII origin story.
What Scorsese would hate: Jumping ahead 70 years.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
What Scorsese could tolerate: They got Robert Redford?!
What Scorsese would hate: Toby Jones existing in a computer.
Captain America: Civil War
What Scorsese could tolerate: The de-aging of Robert Downey Jr.
What Scorsese would hate: Ant-Man, Scarlet Witch, and Vision take him out of it.
What Scorsese could tolerate: Everything not involving vibranium.
What Scorsese would hate: Wakanda is so advanced that it might as well be in space.
And the winner of Martin Scorsese’s favorite Marvel movie is…
Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Considered one of the best MCU films to date (EW ranked it No. 3), Winter Soldier feels of its moment, despite the whole “superhero” thing. It also has a ’70s conspiracy thriller vibe to it that Scorsese would probably both resent and appreciate. Plus, they got Robert F—ing Redford.