Find out your Harry Potter horoscope before the new Fantastic Beasts
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
Everyone to the Astronomy Tower! Mars is bright tonight!
The countdown to The Crimes of Grindelwald has begun — but how on earth are we supposed to pass the time for another month? Make like a centaur and look to the night sky, that’s how.
We’ve gone through the zodiac and picked out the pieces of Wizarding World pop culture to get every sign through the weeks leading up to the Fantastic Beasts sequel. Read on for the books, movies, and more that will thrill you until Newt Scamander and his friends take the big screen once again.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19)
To get ready for Fantastic Beasts, your pioneering spirit will channel another one — J.K. Rowling’s own, over two decades ago. You’re all about blazing new trails, so you’ll throw it back to when the Harry Potter author did just that with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (they’re so much shorter than the later ones, you’ll be able to race through them both with no trouble at all!). It’s no mistake that you’re the first sign in the zodiac, Aries. Don’t you just love a beginning?
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)
Tasteful Taurus, you suffered through seven years of a grimy old teen dormitory punctuated with summers in a soulless suburb — you’ve earned Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The gorgeous first film in the second Wizarding World series amped up the glamour with its 1920s New York setting and stylish new characters (shoutout to Queenie, a warm and lovely Taurus if we’ve ever seen one). There is a reason this is the only movie in the franchise to have an Oscar!
GEMINI (May 20 to June 20)
Don’t worry, Gemini, nobody expects you to maintain the attention span necessary for an entire long book or movie (or a whole series of either). Instead, you’ll get into the wizarding spirit by hopping around Harry’s saga and enjoying a little retrospective of the work of those legendary pranksters Fred and George Weasley, whether revisiting passages of their funniest riffs, checking out clips of their wildest tricks, or trying to build some of their wizard wheezes yourself — sans magic, of course. Now, do you solemnly swear you are up to no good?
CANCER (June 21 to July 22)
You’re deeply aware of the ties that bind family, Cancer, so you reacted more strongly than anyone (and you will again when you reread it) to 2016’s Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the stage-play sequel to the original series that picks up with Harry and co.’s children as they follow in their parents’ footsteps at Hogwarts. You might have also identified with the play’s sensitive protagonist, Albus Severus Potter, a bit better than you did with his father. I mean, come on. Harry’s a Leo, for crying out loud.
LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)
Whether you too were born as the seventh month dies or as the eighth begins, you share your sign with Harry Potter himself and your celestial iconography with the Hogwarts house to which he belongs. But even if none of that were true, you probably still would have identified with him — the Chosen One, am I right? — and never more than during Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which is just one hero-showcase moment after another. Revisit the film to see Harry’s selection as a Triwizard champion, his expert dragon-dodging, his grand entrance as one of the guests of honor at the Yule Ball — all brought to vivid life with movie magic. 100 points to Leos everywhere!
VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
If there’s one piece in the Potter puzzle that comes closest to true perfection, it’s got to be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (it’s also the only book without an appearance by Voldemort in some form or another, and I think we can agree that we’re all better off when that filthy snake-faced showoff isn’t besmirching our reading material). You’ll whet your appetite for more Fantastic Beasts by rereading the best chapter in the original series, which expands the world, develops the story, and deepens the pathos, but never even comes close to being gratuitous.
LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)
Like your good pal Leo, Goblet of Fire thrills you like nothing else. You knew it a few dozen pages into the book, before Harry and co. even made it to school, when you first read those two magic words: Dress. Robes. Yes, all students were required to have them, and that’s because, for the first time, all students were required to party. Welcome to Hogwarts à la Libra. Now, in celebration of The Crimes of Grindelwald, you’ll spend the next few weeks planning your very own Yule Ball, pink dresses and choreographed dances and all. Also, just a tip: Maybe invest in some bug spray.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
The vitriol so often directed at Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is so undeserved you’d think it was a punishment ordered by High Inquisitor Umbridge. People love to complain about Harry being whiny and angsty in the fifth book in the series, but you’ve always understood it, haven’t you, Scorpio? You’ll prepare for the next Wizarding World chapter by revisiting the most misunderstood Potter story and getting back into the oh-so-familiar headspace of a resentful 15-year-old. It isn’t your fault some people just can’t handle a little emotional intensity.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
You can’t be confined, starry archer, to a few thousand pages or a few hours on film. Harry Potter is wonderful, and Fantastic Beasts is such a thrill, and Cursed Child is an exciting new layer, but they’re all just so finite. That’s why you’ll get in touch with your witchy side by exploring everything Pottermore has to offer, letting your insatiable mind stretch to the furthest, most obscure corners of the Wizarding World, which has been developed and expanded in countless directions on the magical site.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
We must admit, things aren’t looking great by the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. You must admit, though, that that’s kind of how you like it, isn’t it, Capricorn? The world is a grim place. Harry Potter’s story is fundamentally a very dark one. Why kid ourselves? Why laugh at Sorcerer’s Stone’s last joke about the abusive Dursleys not knowing Harry isn’t allowed to use magic? That doesn’t mean he actually can! Why celebrate Chamber of Secrets’ finale rewarding Dobby with false freedom? House-elves are still systemically oppressed! Why find hope in Prisoner of Azkaban’s empty promise that Harry has some kind of bright faraway future with Sirius? That guy’s more doomed than Macbeth! No, the world is harsh and unforgiving, and so is Half-Blood Prince. As it should be.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
Yes, you’ve read Harry Potter. Yes, you’ve seen the movies. They’re all great, but as usual, you’re looking for something just a little bit different, aren’t you, water bearer? Pre-Grindelwald, you’ll activate your wild imagination by reading the wizarding fairy tales which, we can only imagine, once provided the bedtime stories of fellow Aquarius Luna Lovegood: The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Because to read a saga that takes place in a certain world is one thing, but to read the stories that they tell within that world is the best way to truly live there yourself.
PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20)
Aries kicked us off with the first two chapters in Harry’s story, and now you, darling cosmic fishes, are going out strong with the final two installments in this first era of the Wizarding World’s first saga: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Parts 1 and 2. Once Harry’s Hogwarts story came to an end in both its written form and its original big-screen incarnation, it finally became truly eternal — and eternity is an idea you can get behind. Like a certain winged trinket, your heart opens at the close.
The one thing written in the stars for every sign in the zodiac? Reading up on The Crimes of Grindelwald, naturally! For secrets and teases from the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel as well as untold stories from the Wizarding World, pick up the latest issue of EW, available on stands and online now.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald hits theaters Nov. 16.