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May 18, 2018 at 01:10 PM EDT

Have you ever been watching Miss Congeniality and thought, “I really wish there were more CGI talking dogs in this”? Do you have children under the age of 7? If you answered yes to either question, you should be aware of the new film Show Dogs in which Ludacris voices a street-smart New York City police dog named Max who’s forced to infiltrate a fancy Las Vegas dog show with the help of his human partner (Will Arnett) in order to save a kidnapped panda bear.

This movie isn’t “funny” or “well-written” but there are a number of animal puns crowbarred into the script. If you don’t feel up to sitting through 92 minutes of prat falls and jokes about butts, consider these lines the CliffsNotes.

1. “Mastiff. I knew I smelled a bad attitude”

2. “Hope you can doggy style”

3. “He can flip this bird any day.”

4. “You run like a Weiner dog.”

5. “You play defense, I play open fence.” [At this point, Max opens a fence.]

6. “Time for a little hair of the dog.

7. “This is LUDACROUS.” [Note: the dog is voiced by Ludaris.]

8. “What kind of dog likes hip hop?”

9. “You’re the bureau’s canine consultant? I was expecting more of a cat lady vibe.”

10. “I cannot polish the turd, but perhaps I can roll it in glitter.”

11. [The dogs attend a party sponsored by frozen-yogurt brand Menchies]

12. “I’ve been around the block and not on a leash if you know what I mean.”

13. “Guv’na? Guv’na?” – a British person talking on the phone.

14. “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to find enemies.”

15. [A dog dabs.]

16. “You’re different from other show dogs, aren’t you?”

17. “Game, set, Max.”

18. “The inspection of the private parts is the hardest part of being a show dog.”

19. [Child crying next to me in the audience.]

20. “No more candy!” – the mother of the child sitting next to me in the audience.

21. “Airline food has really gone to the dogs.”

22. “Now this really is the life…of Pi” – a tiger who is zip-lining

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