We already knew that super-serious and accomplished English actor Idris Elba has a smile that would melt the coldest of hearts and a jawline that could cut metal, but it’s another matter to hear such things read aloud by the man himself.

In a new promotional video for his upcoming survival film The Mountain Between Us, Elba reads excerpts from sizzling fan fiction tales like A Cold Night to Remember, in which he and the unnamed romantic lead go glamping and we get a nice description of his “sinewy shoulders.” Or listen to him recount the tale of flying business class to Tahiti, where the romantic lead gets to sculpt his “beautiful body out of wet sand,” in the enticing My Dream Vacation.

The real crowd-pleaser, however, is Magic Neon Sexuality, which so astutely describes Elba as “tall, English, chocolate.”

You can watch the entire video above. The Mountain Between Us, starring Elba and Kate Winslet, hits theaters Oct. 6.

The Mountain Between Us
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