The actor jokingly exaggerates how much his life has changed.

By Derek Lawrence
March 23, 2017 at 05:07 PM EDT
Marvel

The day after hailing Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 as the “greatest movie in the history of the movies,” Chris Pratt has moved on to sharing how the role of Star-Lord has wildly changed his life.

Earlier Thursday, new posters were unveiled for the Guardians crew, with Star-Lord suspiciously missing. Pratt has rectified that, releasing the image on Facebook, along with a hilariously over-the-top appreciation of what being Peter Quill has meant to him.

“Remember in the first Guardians of the Galaxy, how my character said, ‘…There is one other name you may know me by… ‘Starlord.” and the other guy said, ‘Who?’ Hahaha! Funny to think that just a couple years ago people didn’t know who Starlord was and now I got stalkers and everything,” he wrote. “Not to brag! But seriously I got weirdos all over the place hiding in the shadows wanting to do me harm. I just couldn’t be luckier. #Gratitude Needless to say it’s been a hell of a ride.”

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He continued, “But mostly I’m just trying to stay humble. (BUT IT’S SO HARD) which is why I have to give a shout out to my ‘professional attitude liaisons’ that help me with all that shit as well as my Sherpa Greg, Scooter, my chakra mechanic, what’s his name my laser chiropractor guy and (amazing news) he’s got a time machine! Is he crazy expensive? Of course! Am I nearly tapped out even though I’m pulling down millions per movie!? Hell no. I’M IN THE RED SON!! Luxury jets are super expensive but my psychic Mirijamph promised me if I fly her family to my new compound in Aruba and get her my tax ID #’s I could get Evander Holyfield as my boxing coach! (Long story) things are good I guess. I played catch with Peyton Manning and Papa John just the other night… oh that reminds me… I’m probably getting my own pizza flavor if we can just figure out how to grind up diamonds into an edible powder. And other than that pretty normal day to day same old same old. Oh… They’re thinking of naming a city after me. New York. Ever heard of it? Probably gonna be called New-Star-Lordia pretty soon.”

The actor, who jumped from TV veteran to movie star thanks to Guardians, concluded by thanking his fans and some other important figures.

“I want to thank God,” he said. “And Tony Robbins. But not in that order. And most of all, express my gratitude to the throngs of fans. Without you we are simply hollow shells of humans, replete with insecurity and desperate for attention. But with you? We are much, much, much, much more.”

See the poster below.

Guardians Vol. 2, which costars Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper, and Vin Diesel, soars into theaters on May 5.

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  • Movie
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  • PG-13
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  • 05/05/17
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