We get it. It's day four of your coronavirus quarantine and all of sudden you're making conversation with inanimate objects, explaining the meal you're making to the fridge, staring at your walls dreamily...
Okay, so maybe you're not quite falling in love with the partition between your kitchen and living room, but it's early days yet. To better prepare you for the days (weeks?) of quarantine to come, we asked some folks particularly familiar with talking to walls for some tips on best social distancing practices. Here's what the cast of Netflix's Love Is Blind recommends when it comes to conversing with walls — we hope it stops you from climbing yours.
Cameron finds walls hypnotic and advises leaning in — literally:
- "It helps if your wall is a hypnotic lava lamp type of wall, so you can really concentrate on your conversation," says now-married contestant Cameron. "If you don’t have this type of wall, use a projector or set up a TV on the wall with a cool pattern on loop."
- "Don't be afraid to make contact with your wall," he advises. "Approach the wall and lean against it with one arm out, while you bow your head in concentration. It will feel as if you are embracing a loved one, except instead of the warmth of human contact, you will feel the cool texture of brick, sheetrock, or the aforementioned plexiglass screen of your hypnotic wall. They're pretty much the same though."
Lauren really recommends opening up to that partition:
- “Call me crazy but walls make the best listeners..." says Lauren, successful contestant and wife to Cameron. "They never try and overpower you when you’re trying to get your thoughts out.”
Carlton is a big fan of isolation and the commitment a wall provides:
- “Single life in isolation works out just fine," says unlucky-in-love Carlton. "I love enjoying my favorite glass of wine while pouring my heart out to my wall. I never have to wonder or worry if my wall actually hears my heart. I look forward to many dates with my wall. The only date who can never walk out of my life.”
Giannina believes talking to your wall will actually improve your mental health:
- “Having a wall between you is like a free therapy session, you can yell, laugh, cry, even have a silent victory party without your partner taking offense to facial expressions or hand gestures," shares still coupled-up Giannina. "It’s pretty priceless!”
Lexie even wishes she was still living pod life:
- “Dating in the real world is a trap, take me back to the pods where I can just sip my wine and talk about my feelings in peace,” says Lexie, who found herself in a pod love triangle.
- “Positive side of talking to a wall: doesn’t judge me for waiting 4 days to wash my hair...dry shampoo for the win."
Matt Thomas (not Barnett) says to embrace the judgement-free lifestyle:
- "Creativity is key," says Matt, who didn't get engaged in the pods. "Turn on some music and salsa dance with your phantom partner. Roll out your yoga mat and shout position cues through a wall. Shadow box like there’s no tomorrow. Get creative and have some fun with it — there’s sure to be zero judgement!"
Love is Blind is available to stream on Netflix now.