Ultimate '80s Teen Movie Villains

Played by: Craig Sheffer
Words to vile by: ''She's gonna have to beg.''
Like Steff and Stan, Hardy is a proto 1-percenter. His fluffy coiffure and Miami Vice style immediately convey his douchebag potential. What it doesn't convey is his deep-seated cruelty, forged the intense entitlement of a life of never having to earn any of the luxuries you've been given. —Lanford Beard

Played by: Ted McGinley
Words to vile by: ''Those nerds are a threat to our way of life.''
Gilbert (Robert Carradine), Lewis (Anthony Edwards), and the rest of the Tri-Lams are nothing less than a four-eyed menace to the Darwinistic natural order of things at Adams College — a set-in-stone caste system where smug jocks like Alpha Beta Stan Gable have always reigned supreme, presiding over the Greek Council and tormenting the high-IQ pocket-protector set. Needless to say, Stan's in no hurry to hand his top-dog status — or his blonde trophy girlfriend Betty Childs (Julia Montgomery) — over to a bunch of..nerds! Sure, his oafish henchman Ogre (Donald Gibb) does most of the actual dirty work, but it's Stan who represents the purest form of a long-lost movie archetype: the sadistic, sweater-tied-around-the-neck '80s preppy villain. —Chris Nashawaty

Played by: Thomas F. Wilson
Words to vile by: ''Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here?''
A true high school villain, Biff is best known for harassing pretty classmates like Lorraine Baines (Lea Thompson) and for botching would-be intimidating catchphrases (a trait that seems to run in the family, as we learn in Back to the Future Part III). To some, Biff may just be another bumbling small town bully, but to the McFly family he is the key to many alternate histories. Stand up to him with a mean left hook, and you just may find the course of your family history altered for the better. But if you put time travel in his hands, you'll find it drastically changed for the worse. —Emily Rome

Played by: James Spader
Words to vile by: ''Money really means nothing to me. Do you think I'd treat my parents' house this way if it did?''
Long before Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass was sporting paisley ties and sleeping his way through high school's upper echelon, there was Steff. With a head of feathery hair and a closet full of white suits, Steff makes money look good while treating anyone without it like trash. On the surface, Steff's as tempting as apple pie, but at his heart he's just a jealous snake in the grass who's rotten to the core. —Tara Fowler

Most Villainous Roles: Johnny Lawrence, The Karate Kid; Chas, Back to School; Greg Tolan, Just One of the Guys
Words to vile by: ''You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you, little twerp? No, you had to push it. Well, now you're gonna pay!'' —The Karate Kid
For most of the '80s, Billy Zabka was the go-to prepster prick. He was so prolific, it's a wonder any of these other guys ever got any jobs. —Lanford Beard

Played by: Shannen Doherty (left), Kim Walker (right), and Lisanne Falk (not shown)
Words to vile by: ''Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?'' —Heather Chandler (Walker)
These bitches play croquet, so right away you know they're a nightmare. In addition to lording their fashion sense over the student body by wearing business suits to high school way before Clueless did it, the three Heathers make everyone's lives — particularly Martha Dumptruck's and Veronica's (Winona Ryder, middle) — a living hell. Lunchtime poll, anyone? Plain or BBQ? —Annie Barrett

Played by: Aaron Dozier
Words to vile by: ''Oh Meyer, I wanted to let you know there's an opening on the water ballet team, I can make the call if you want.''
With a last name like Stalin, you're bound to be a villain. Roy could have been a man after luring away Lane's (John Cusack) girlfriend Beth (Amanda Wyss). Instead, he takes every opportunity to taunt the suicidal high school student. Come on dude, you're just the captain of the ski team. It's not like it's football. —Tara Fowler

Played by: Kiefer Sutherland
Words to vile by: ''Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?''
The year after he played mailbox-smashing, switchblade-brandishing greaser Ace Merrill in Stand by Me, Sutherland took bullying to a monstrous level as Lost Boys' vampire bad boy David. Charismatic as David could be, the moment he utters this skin-crawlingly unforgettable line from inside his cavernous lair, David's bullying of new kid Michael (Jason Patric) becomes too creepy to overlook. —Abby West

Played by: Robert Prescott
Words to vile by: ''You'll rue the day!''
Between Bachelor Party and Real Genius, Robert Prescott carved out a comfy little niche for himself in the mid-'80s playing Aryan jerk-antagonists. Whether facing off against a pre-nuptial Tom Hanks or a wisecracking science whiz Val Kilmer in this subversive comedy gem, his M.O. was the same: he was a whiny, turtlenecked wet blanket hellbent on spoiling everybody's fun. My favorite moment in Real Genius (and it's not easy to choose just one) is when Kilmer teases Kent by asking, ''What about that time that I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O?'' Kent's stammering comeback? ''Look, it was hot and I was hungry, ok?'' Whatever you say, Kent. Now stop playing with yourself! —Chris Nashawaty

Played by: Bill Paxton
Words to vile by: ''You two donkey-d---s couldn't get laid in a morgue.''
Among all the jerks and punks on this list, Chet is the biggest blowhard. The cigar-puffing, military school-trained megalomaniac mercilessly abuses his timid brother Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) and even clocks a teenage girl with the barrel of a shotgun. So self-important was Chet that it takes fierce Fembot Lisa (Kelly LeBrock) turning him into a literal ''pile of s---'' for him to reform his bad behavior. —Lanford Beard

Played by: Rooney (left), Jeffrey Jones; Vernon, Paul Gleason
Words to vile by: ''I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.'' —Rooney
''That's the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place and they've forgotten all about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living s--- out of you. I'm gonna knock your d--- in the dirt. '' —Vernon
While Richard ''Dick'' Vernon is a foul-mouthed, vindictive bully in an abominable '70s leisure suit, Ed Rooney is a veritable stalker (also in a terrible suit). Both trade on intimidation and scare tactics, with Vernon's ire reserved for the rebellious John Bender (Judd Nelson) and Rooney's obsessive rage directed at Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick). But it's Rooney's sour grapes that backfires most, when his demented hunt for Bueller leads to trespassing, dog mauling, and...the greatest humiliation of all...an uncomfortable bus ride home with a student bearing a handful of pocket-warmed Gummi Bears. —Josh Stillman