'Ugly Betty': 25 Classic Quips

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1

”Ohh, the sound of clinking ice cubes. It’s like a Scottish lullaby.” —Christina (Ashley Jensen), longing for booze while pregnant

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2

”I’d say off with your heads, but for some of you, that might not matter.” —Justin (Mark Indelicato), after the kids at his high school rudely crowned him Homecoming ”Queen”

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3

Eric Liebowitz/ABC

”Really, Marc? Soup and half a salad? When the cat’s away the mice will gorge themselves to death.” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) from her hospital bed, scolding Marc (Michael Urie) for his indulgent lunch plans

Continued on next slide.

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”Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your loud shirt.” —Betty (America Ferrera), lashing out at Marc (Michael Urie) for his constant insults

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5

Eric Liebowitz/ABC

”My favorite moment of the day is throwing out my breakfast muffin in front of a homeless person!” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), explaining to her old flame who she really is

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6

Patrick Harbron/ABC

”The key to sounding like you have good taste is hating everything. Just call it garish or ghoulish.” —Justin (Mark Indelicato), trying to school Betty (America Ferrera) on good taste

Continued on next slide.

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7

Patrick Harbron/ABC

”I’ll have my lawyers draw up a cease and desist order. As if I didn’t have enough queens to shut down here at Mode!” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), upon hearing about her drag doppelganger, Wilheldiva Hater (Chris Williams)

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8

”I have to decide on my comedic monologue. It’s between Molière and one of Brad’s breakdowns from The Rachel Zoe Project.” —Justin (Mark Indelicato), on prepping for his upcoming audition

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9

”If only she would apply some of that pluck to her chin hair.” —Marc (Michael Urie), after Amanda (Becki Newton) says that Betty (America Ferrera) is ”a real go-getter”

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”I’m not the emotional type, but you can write yourself a nice note from me.” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), after Marc (Michael Urie) tries to give her a hug when he gets the junior fashion editor job

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”What is with white people and Taye Diggs?” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), after her assistant Marc (Michael Urie) picks a Taye Diggs-ish nanny for her and comments on how hot he is

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”I spent the entire time being groped by perverts in Montmartre. The French still appreciate something finely aged.” —Claire (Judith Light), about her vacation in Paris

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”Can I help it if my balls are bigger than his?” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), after Connor (Grant Bowler) says he likes the ”good cop, bad cop” thing going on between her and Daniel (Eric Mabius)

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”I smell pluck.” —Marc (Michael Urie), just before inhaling deeply and spotting a sprightly Betty (America Ferrera), who’s ready to fix Mode‘s latest crisis

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”Here’s to the bundle of…what’s the expression? Joy.” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), toasting the spawn growing inside Christina (Ashley Jensen)

Continued on next slide.

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Scott Garfield

”I’m this close to splitting a Cobb salad with Sarah Jessica Parker and talking about shoes.” —Daniel (Eric Mabius), feeling emasculated after spending a day fruitlessly waiting for a call from Sofia (Salma Hayek)

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17

Danny Feld

”Looks like a gay version of Star Trek.” —Hilda (Ana Ortiz), getting her initial look at Mode magazine headquarters

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Vivian Zink

”I have flower problems, catering problems, and Bradford wants something called a Shania Twain to perform at our reception.” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), on the challenges of planning her wedding to Bradford Meade (Alan Dale)

Continued on next slide.

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Dean Hendler

”Well, I adore ’em. Except for the few sickos who write lesbian fan fiction about me and Bea Arthur.” —Betty White (guest starring as herself), describing her legion of dedicated fans

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Michael Desmond

”Did you just gesture at me when you said Kwanzaa?” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) giving her boss Daniel (Eric Mabius) a hard time during a brainstorming session

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Vivian Zink

”N! I don’t have the energy to say ‘no’ anymore!” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), while making decisions for a photo shoot

Continued on next slide.

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22

Dean Hendler

”I love your assistant! I have the same one in beige.” —Fabia (Gina Gershon) exchanging bitcheries with rival Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) at Fashion Week

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23

Scott Garfield

”Even if I wanted to express sympathy, I physically can’t.” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), on the side-effects of the ridiculous amounts of Botox she’s had

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24

Michael Desmond

”So this is where the tragic happens.” —Marc (Michael Urie), after happening upon a sleeping Betty (America Ferrera) in her bedroom

Continued on next slide.

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25

Mitch Haddad

”Come on, girl, I am black, you are Mexican, let’s not talk around it like a coupla dull white people.” —Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), trying to level with Betty (America Ferrera)

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