TV Watch: 23 Highlights from April 2 to April 9, 2010

Lost recap: The end begins now

Desmond didn't have to work too hard to get Charlie out of jail. The pasty English rocker was walking out of the clink just as Desmond was arriving. Charlie then kept walking right into the street, oblivious or ambivalent or indifferent to the cars screeching to a half to avoid mowing him down a la Nadia or Juliet's husband. Desmond was baffled. He watched Charlie head into a bar called Jax, an Outback-themed pub with a kangaroo mascot. Lost = Kangaroo Jack? Debate. — Jeff Jensen

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Survivor: Heroes vs Villains recap: Sassy Courtney is back in business!

The Villains were ready for a merge. Too ready, it turns out, as they broke down their entire camp and brought all their possessions with them. There was no doubt that Probst was going to have some serious fun with this one: ''Before we move any further, let me answer the question on everybody's minds. Everybody. Drop. Your... Expectations.'' Oh, Probst, you crafty devil you! Not bad, sir. Still a bit of a missed opportunity, if you ask me. Just look at the other possibilities that you passed up: ...

Option #3: ''Before we move any further, let me answer the question on everybody's minds. Yes, there are immunity idols hidden in each of my dimples. I was going to give each tribe a map and a shovel and see who could dig them out first but let's be honest — we know Russell is going to end up with both of them anyway so why don't we just cut to the chase and give them to him right now. There you go, Russell. Yes, I know you're awesome. Yes, I know you decide who stays and who goes.'' — Dalton Ross

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Bones recap: 'I'm the gambler'

But whether or not you understand why Brennan can't just open her heart and be with Booth already, you have to love that the show was bold enough to go there, to have Booth tell her he wants to give them a shot, kiss her, and reveal that he knew from the beginning she was the one. I've watched those last three minutes probably close to 10 times now, and I think it's safe to say they are my favorite moments of the series. — Mandi Bierly

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The Vampire Diaries recap: Let the right one in

Man, [Damon's] loneliness makes me sad. If I were in Mystic Falls, I would be his drinking buddy. I feel like he'd tell great stories when he's drunk, and I'm a good, excitable listener. — Mandi Bierly

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Project Runway recap: Circus freaky fashion

I was not wild about the Ronald McDonald trousers, which Agent Orange argued had a ''crazy crotch.'' (A good effort, Michael, but it's all in the delivery, and nothing will top your ''insane crotch'' comment from season three.) — Missy Schwartz

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Fringe recap: Olivia follows the clues

Olivia realizes that all of his targeted people once went to the day-care center she attended as a child in Jacksonville, the site of Walter and William Bell's drug trials. So what looked initially like a ''Pattern'' case became quite personal; Fringe is becoming, more than ever, as Peter put it this evening, about ''this little family unit we've got going.'' — Ken Tucker

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American Idol recap: Everybody save Cheese!

But I'm not going to spend any more time analyzing a guy who takes criticism that he needs to dial back on the on-stage theatricality by announcing: ''It's a show. We're here to put on a show. You want the studio version, check me out on iTunes.'' Check you out on iTunes, you Velveeta-coated buffoon? — Michael Slezak

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Ugly Betty recap: 18 juicy lines from 'The Past Presents the Future'

I simply loved that Justin didn't ever say ''I'm gay'' — instead, he just walked on to the dance floor with his new boyfriend, Austin, and his family couldn't have been happier. This kid is 16 years old, people! Wow, wow, wow. Warms my heart that this kind of thing is on network television! It's for storylines like this — and, you know, everything else, like the fashion and whatnot — that will make Ugly Betty go down in television history. — Tanner Stransky

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South Park Facebook episode: You've got zero friends

But his buddies set up a page for him anyway, and Stan's hell began. He had to friend everyone from his dad to his grandmother (''Stan, poke your grandma!'' commanded his father). — Ken Tucker

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America's Next Top Model recap: Shake and fake

As with all information, Alasia processed this by staring into space and chewing gum with her mouth open. — Margaret Lyons

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Celebrity Apprentice recap: Donald Trump tries his darndest to fire Bret Michaels

The best part about [Selita Ebanks] using that awful fake British Accent? The fact that there was someone with a real British accent standing right next to her! Why wasn't Sharon Osbourne doing the presentation if that's what they wanted? Only on Celebrity Apprentice, ladies and gentlemen. — Dalton Ross

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The Amazing Race recap: Taxi!

Some cabbies knew the quickest route to everywhere in Penang. Some cabbies were loyal. Some cabbies got lost. And one cabbie picked a deeply inappropriate time to stop for gas. Michael put it best: ''One bad cab driver can cost you a million dollars.'' Before the night was over, one bad cab driver kind of did. — Darren Franich

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Dancing With the Stars recap: What's the story?

The tabloids in her hands cheered her on: ''KATE FIGHTS BACK!'' Oh, f--- those rags! She tossed them away, disgusted. Behold: a stone cold gaze toward the camera. Now what? Was she about to start vogueing? No. She just stood there, scowling. Tale as old as time! Keep in mind, this storybook scenario does not happen in real life — especially not in that dress — but it sure does happen in Kate's mind. ABC has simply taken the liberty of parading Kate's delusion in front of over 20 million people. — Annie Barrett

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The Biggest Loser recap: Game on

I bet Sunshine could walk in and tell O'Neal, ''Hey Dad, I just came back from robbing a bank and, on the way home, I killed a bunny and met Spencer Pratt and we decided to get married. Oh, and I've decided to begin worshipping Satan.'' And O'Neal would still weep with pride. — Kate Ward

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The Real Housewives of New York recap: The rift deepens, LuAnn lurks, Ramona shrugs

Jill twitched back in response, blathering about how money didn't give you happiness. It's like she's written down six taglines to explain this rift between her and Bethenny and she just repeats them over and over to herself like they're her mantras. — Karen Valby

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Supernatural recap: Five perfect moments of comic relief

One of the saddest moments of the episode (for me, anyway) was when Dean compared their save-the-world-mission to the Titanic. They did a great job of making him appear worn and dejected in this episode, and it broke my heart. — Sandra Gonzalez

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V recap: Everybody's preggers!

I'm no mathematician, but by my count, that makes roughly 50 pregnancy-centric plotlines this season. In this same episode, Ryan's Doctor Friend showed Pregnant Wife a fake ultrasound. (What is this, Glee?) And we had to hear the words ''Anna is birthing soldiers.'' And we don't know exactly what Supergirl has planned, but it's probably pregnancy, right? And Chad's oncoming hemorrhage is kind of like a pregnancy of the brain. The only character on this show who isn't pregnant is Marcus. But he's prone to pregnant pauses. — Darren Franich

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16 and Pregnant recap: 20 things that made me want to slap someone

Leah's reflection: ''It's not just that Corey's driving fast. This whole relationship is going too fast.'' Going? More like went. — Sandra Gonzalez

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Castle recap: Curse of the Mayan king

Castle: If something were to happen to me, I want you to watch out for Alexis. She looks up to you, and if her boyfriends get frisky, you can shoot them. [Becket agrees, and smiles] And would you also go into my closet and get rid of my porn collection before she finds it? — Mandi Bierly

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Gossip Girl recap: Chuck and Blair's indecent proposal proves disastrous

Another piece of good news is that Eric returned! But with really bad hair. I mean REEEAAAAAALLLLLLLLY bad hair. Like is he supposed to still be gay? Gays do not usually allow their hair to get that out of control. And yet he still managed to draw the interest of a new fella, Elliot. He was totes cute. And it's about damn time — I never really liked Jonathan. But this new guy is very CW-esque; sort of a gay version of the Supernatural guys. — Tim Stack

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24 recap: Heady times for poor Hassan

Something big was going to happen in this two-hour spectacular, and if didn't involve an explosion in Manhattan then it would clearly include the impending neck-slashing of Hassan (and maybe I've watched too many installments of Saw so forgive me when I say that when Jack busted into that apartment and went to grab Hassan's head, I half-expected it to fall to the ground). — Lynette Rice

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American Idol recap: Crystal Bow!Er!Sox! botches a few ''Come Together'' lyrics

Yes, in the Idol ''Come Together'' pantheon, I'd have to rank it Carly Smithson > Kris Allen > MamaSox. Side note: Let's make ''Bring out the didgeridoo player!'' the new ''Release the Kraken!'' — Michael Slezak

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Dancing With the Stars recap: Buzz Aldrin waltzes home

The self-proclaimed ''patriotic geyser'' is a smart and fascinating guy whose verbosity was not particularly well-suited for reality television in 2010. More power to him for that. ''I will miss hearing his stories,'' his partner Ashly told EW after Tuesday night's show. ''I wish everybody could hear what he was telling me.'' — Annie Barrett

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