24 recap: What a gut-wrenching hour for Jack
How appropriate that one of show’s last acts of torture would result in a victim not wanting to spill the beans (as if Jack would let Pavel off the hook, anyway). I actually laugh out loud at these moments, mostly because I spend the time imagining how those strung-out 24 writers probably killed themselves in an effort to find new and creative ways to inflict pain this season. ”Have we done a blow torch before? How lethal can a can of Bic Lighter Fluid be, anyway?” We got our answer tonight. — Lynette Rice
Survivor: Heroes vs Villains recap: Why Parvati deserves to win it all
It was at this moment that Parvati proved why she has played this season better than anyone else. After being betrayed by Russell (who voted out Danielle), she commented to Jerri that, ”Russell’s the biggest villain this game has ever seen.” But did that mean she’d turn on her former alliance-mate? Nope. Because she realized that if Rupert or Colby make it to the end, they’ll win. She wasn’t playing with her heart. She was playing with her head. —Dalton Ross
Bones recap: I ain’t sayin’ she’s a Gravedigger. (But she is.)
This is like an extreme case of ”Can a woman have it all?” Most of us worry about balancing a career and a family. Brennan is worrying about balancing brilliance with just enough humanity to not be considered a sociopath. — Mandi Bierly
The Real Housewives of New York recap: Kelly goes kookadoodle
The trip to St. John got off to a promising start. Alex wore her theater-student outfit of jean shorts and denim vest. — Karen Valby
The Vampire Diaries season finale recap: Founders Day frenzy
We got enough closure to get us through the summer, but enough of a cliffhanger to make sure we’ll be back in the fall. And Jeremy made the hottest Civil War soldier since Jude Law in Cold Mountain. — Mandi Bierly
Supernatural season finale recap: Nothing ever really ends… does it?
There was kind of no choice, both in terms of the boy’s options and in terms of closure for Sam. As he said, ”I let him out, I have to put him back in.” So to Detroit they headed, with jugs of demon blood in tow, despite Dean’s (and our) ”bad feeling” about it. — Sandra Gonzalez
Community recap: Making the grade
Troy: ”Why’s she teaching Spanish if she’s a doctor? Go cure something.”
30 Rock recap: Come on, Bible, help a lady out
So Liz gave her Gentlemen Rolodex a spin (or as Jenna likes to call it, ”sexual time travel”) in order to prevent being dateless at Floyd’s wedding. — Emily Exton
The Office recap: Silent, but deadly
But Michael was curiously unresponsive. He liked the ice cream, of course, but he didn’t like it enough to drown his sorrows in it. Nor did he respond when Jim and Pam invited him over for dinner and Rock Band: Billy Joel, which let’s hope never actually exists ever. Pam: ”Are you still seeing Donna?” Michael: ”Since when is this an office when we delve into each other’s personal lives?” — Darren Franich
America’s Next Top Model finale recap: Easy, breezy, ‘ugly pretty’
Everyone had to do a fun, personality-filled runway walk down the aisle of the plane! Is this worse than a crying baby on board? How about worse than a B.O.-emitting seatmate? I really hope this was a Top Model only flight, otherwise…sad trombone on the rest of those passengers. When I want emaciated lunatics waltzing up and down the aisle and stealing my sunglasses, I take Greyhound. — Margaret Lyons
Modern Family recap: Frankie says relax
Cameron: It would be like Lewis telling Clark that he didn’t like to walk. Sidenote: We’re very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. Clark bought a big sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his ”Louisiana Purchase.” — Emily Exton
The Big Bang Theory recap: Guest star Judy Greer gets to ‘know’ Leonard… and Raj
Parsons may still be Big Bang‘s breakout star (and rightfully so, what with his morning voice-check rituals and ”two shakes for Texas” urination song), but increasingly Cuoco and Galecki have become the show’s quirky beating heart. — Adam B. Vary
Grey’s Anatomy recap: Celebrate good times? Come on!
Worse sign? When he told Meredith that he was just going through the motions in hopes of being a regular old happy couple: ”I figure if you walk like a duck and quack like a duck, eventually you start to feel like a duck.” Oh, Alex, no one is a duck in this scenario. We’ve all tried, but it never works. Sorry. — Jennifer Armstrong
Fringe recap: ”Over There, Part 1” is one great half of a fantastic finale
The reunion of the Cortexiphan kids was a comics-geek’s heaven: It was like witnessing an alt-Legion of Super Heroes meeting. — Ken Tucker
Gossip Girl recap: You can’t ‘Affair to Remember’ me!
I know you miss Brooklyn, and making your own clothes, and you want your normal family life back, but that was cold. Wise Gay Teen said it best when he said no one was forcing you to stay on the Upper East. So go. And this advice is free: Never wear that black dress again. There are two huge reasons. — Sandra Gonzalez
American Idol recap: All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt
And that’s why, on a lot of levels, it seemed unfair tonight to hear the judges repeatedly take the contestants to task over song selection; Simon Cowell himself flapped his gums about the contestants having ”thousands” of tracks to choose from. Surely, he knows that’s not entirely truthful.
I mean, dude, come on. Don’t put your jockey on the back of a mule, then complain when he doesn’t win the Kentucky Derby. — Michael Slezak
Lost recap: A boy’s best friend is his mother
Did the Mother/Jacob/Man In Black drama curse this world like the Biblical fall of man? Did this tragic trio doom future Island visitors to suffer through adaptations of their same sad story? So many shared elements. Shipwrecked castaways. A deadly first encounter with a supernatural Island entity. ”Special” children and child abduction. Ghosts. Suspicion and conflict with Others. Mystery boxes and games. The war between faith and reason. Betrayal and murder. — Jeff Jensen
The Biggest Loser recap: Tears of a clown
But our sweet Daris, who finished 10 minutes before the winner of the challenge in season seven, is hardly cocky — after winning the challenge, he went back to help struggling contestants like Mike, who finished his race by throwing his weight over the hill and yelling, ”This. Is. Sparta!” — Kate Ward
Glee recap: Did I disappoint you?
She convinced the president of the AV club to run a Gene Hackman Special on the choir room. Sure enough, half the club wasn’t even singing. Rachel Angry! Rachel Smash! Rachel Bring Up Legitimate Concerns To Mr. Schuester, But Do So In A Shrill Manner! — Darren Franich
Dancing With the Stars recap: Era night
Maks’ lilac shirt and white high-waisted pants: merely terrible male costume, or the worst-ever male costume? You decide. As he said in the quote of the night, ”Wow, who made up the ’80s?” You do have to wonder. — Annie Barrett
1
24 recap: What a gut-wrenching hour for Jack
How appropriate that one of show’s last acts of torture would result in a victim not wanting to spill the beans (as if Jack would let Pavel off the hook, anyway). I actually laugh out loud at these moments, mostly because I spend the time imagining how those strung-out 24 writers probably killed themselves in an effort to find new and creative ways to inflict pain this season. ”Have we done a blow torch before? How lethal can a can of Bic Lighter Fluid be, anyway?” We got our answer tonight. — Lynette Rice
2
Survivor: Heroes vs Villains recap: Why Parvati deserves to win it all
It was at this moment that Parvati proved why she has played this season better than anyone else. After being betrayed by Russell (who voted out Danielle), she commented to Jerri that, ”Russell’s the biggest villain this game has ever seen.” But did that mean she’d turn on her former alliance-mate? Nope. Because she realized that if Rupert or Colby make it to the end, they’ll win. She wasn’t playing with her heart. She was playing with her head. —Dalton Ross
3
Bones recap: I ain’t sayin’ she’s a Gravedigger. (But she is.)
This is like an extreme case of ”Can a woman have it all?” Most of us worry about balancing a career and a family. Brennan is worrying about balancing brilliance with just enough humanity to not be considered a sociopath. — Mandi Bierly
4
The Real Housewives of New York recap: Kelly goes kookadoodle
The trip to St. John got off to a promising start. Alex wore her theater-student outfit of jean shorts and denim vest. — Karen Valby
5
The Vampire Diaries season finale recap: Founders Day frenzy
We got enough closure to get us through the summer, but enough of a cliffhanger to make sure we’ll be back in the fall. And Jeremy made the hottest Civil War soldier since Jude Law in Cold Mountain. — Mandi Bierly
6
Supernatural season finale recap: Nothing ever really ends… does it?
There was kind of no choice, both in terms of the boy’s options and in terms of closure for Sam. As he said, ”I let him out, I have to put him back in.” So to Detroit they headed, with jugs of demon blood in tow, despite Dean’s (and our) ”bad feeling” about it. — Sandra Gonzalez
7
Community recap: Making the grade
Troy: ”Why’s she teaching Spanish if she’s a doctor? Go cure something.”
8
30 Rock recap: Come on, Bible, help a lady out
So Liz gave her Gentlemen Rolodex a spin (or as Jenna likes to call it, ”sexual time travel”) in order to prevent being dateless at Floyd’s wedding. — Emily Exton
9
The Office recap: Silent, but deadly
But Michael was curiously unresponsive. He liked the ice cream, of course, but he didn’t like it enough to drown his sorrows in it. Nor did he respond when Jim and Pam invited him over for dinner and Rock Band: Billy Joel, which let’s hope never actually exists ever. Pam: ”Are you still seeing Donna?” Michael: ”Since when is this an office when we delve into each other’s personal lives?” — Darren Franich
10
America’s Next Top Model finale recap: Easy, breezy, ‘ugly pretty’
Everyone had to do a fun, personality-filled runway walk down the aisle of the plane! Is this worse than a crying baby on board? How about worse than a B.O.-emitting seatmate? I really hope this was a Top Model only flight, otherwise…sad trombone on the rest of those passengers. When I want emaciated lunatics waltzing up and down the aisle and stealing my sunglasses, I take Greyhound. — Margaret Lyons
11
Modern Family recap: Frankie says relax
Cameron: It would be like Lewis telling Clark that he didn’t like to walk. Sidenote: We’re very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. Clark bought a big sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his ”Louisiana Purchase.” — Emily Exton
12
The Big Bang Theory recap: Guest star Judy Greer gets to ‘know’ Leonard… and Raj
Parsons may still be Big Bang‘s breakout star (and rightfully so, what with his morning voice-check rituals and ”two shakes for Texas” urination song), but increasingly Cuoco and Galecki have become the show’s quirky beating heart. — Adam B. Vary
13
Grey’s Anatomy recap: Celebrate good times? Come on!
Worse sign? When he told Meredith that he was just going through the motions in hopes of being a regular old happy couple: ”I figure if you walk like a duck and quack like a duck, eventually you start to feel like a duck.” Oh, Alex, no one is a duck in this scenario. We’ve all tried, but it never works. Sorry. — Jennifer Armstrong
14
Fringe recap: ”Over There, Part 1” is one great half of a fantastic finale
The reunion of the Cortexiphan kids was a comics-geek’s heaven: It was like witnessing an alt-Legion of Super Heroes meeting. — Ken Tucker
15
Gossip Girl recap: You can’t ‘Affair to Remember’ me!
I know you miss Brooklyn, and making your own clothes, and you want your normal family life back, but that was cold. Wise Gay Teen said it best when he said no one was forcing you to stay on the Upper East. So go. And this advice is free: Never wear that black dress again. There are two huge reasons. — Sandra Gonzalez
16
American Idol recap: All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt
And that’s why, on a lot of levels, it seemed unfair tonight to hear the judges repeatedly take the contestants to task over song selection; Simon Cowell himself flapped his gums about the contestants having ”thousands” of tracks to choose from. Surely, he knows that’s not entirely truthful.
I mean, dude, come on. Don’t put your jockey on the back of a mule, then complain when he doesn’t win the Kentucky Derby. — Michael Slezak
17
Lost recap: A boy’s best friend is his mother
Did the Mother/Jacob/Man In Black drama curse this world like the Biblical fall of man? Did this tragic trio doom future Island visitors to suffer through adaptations of their same sad story? So many shared elements. Shipwrecked castaways. A deadly first encounter with a supernatural Island entity. ”Special” children and child abduction. Ghosts. Suspicion and conflict with Others. Mystery boxes and games. The war between faith and reason. Betrayal and murder. — Jeff Jensen
18
The Biggest Loser recap: Tears of a clown
But our sweet Daris, who finished 10 minutes before the winner of the challenge in season seven, is hardly cocky — after winning the challenge, he went back to help struggling contestants like Mike, who finished his race by throwing his weight over the hill and yelling, ”This. Is. Sparta!” — Kate Ward
19
Glee recap: Did I disappoint you?
She convinced the president of the AV club to run a Gene Hackman Special on the choir room. Sure enough, half the club wasn’t even singing. Rachel Angry! Rachel Smash! Rachel Bring Up Legitimate Concerns To Mr. Schuester, But Do So In A Shrill Manner! — Darren Franich
