TV Houses For Sale? We 'List' 'em!

This charming 1920s Victorian is a Hollywood landmark. It features a large modern kitchen and a basement where the undead torment the living. Rubber bondage suit (one size fits all!) and super-friendly maid included in sale price. —Benjamin Wood

Owner Hershel Greene is dying to offload this expansive agricultural spread! Located outside of Atlanta, it's home to acres of rich soil and an even richer 160-year history. Comes with a barn big enough to hold? just about anything you need, though the well will need cleaning. —Lanford Beard

This spacious four-bedroom apartment has one of the largest bathrooms you've ever seen — limited privacy but plenty of locker space — and comes with three endearing roommates and a rooftop garden where models occasionally sunbathe. No smoking, no singing, no pets, and seriously, stop singing. —Benjamin Wood

Oceanside home recently purchased by Internet billionaire looking for possible leaseholder. Amazing deck overlooking the water, huge living area, and master bedroom that's seen plenty of action. Comes with Polo-wearing nebbish, fart joke-prone teenage boy, and a full wardrobe of striped bowling shirts and khaki shorts. —Lanford Beard

You'll meet new friends and love interests in this two-bedroom apartment, conveniently located near campus and a number of ethnic takeout restaurants. Applicants with a Ph.D. in advanced theoretical or experimental physics and general understanding of Schrúdinger's cat, comic book, science-fiction, and fantasy lore preferred. —Benjamin Wood

Hamptons hideaway! Cozy beachfront home with a great vantage point on nearby Grayson Manor, one of the island's most coveted properties, a large porch with a built-in swing for plotting or enjoying the sunset. Must love animals, especially dogs and mop-headed blondes named Nolan! —Lanford Beard

If you're looking for housing on a budget, you won't find better than this spacious Brooklyn one-bedroom. Features: Exposed brick, large kitchen, Murphy bed for optional second tenant, and, best of all, a back yard big enough for a horse — literally. —Benjamin Wood

Truly magical fixer-upper surrounded by charming woods in Chance Harbor, Wash. Needs a lot of work after local teens used it as a meet-up point, but it's worth the TLC. Outside, elegant ivy encircles the house, inside it's loaded with historical artifacts, including gently used leather books, glass bottles, candles, even a bathtub. A knick-knack lover's paradise! —Lanford Beard

Tired of the hustle and bustle of city life? This two-level home is the perfect place for a fresh start in the quiet, peaceful suburbs. It's a very social neighborhood, so there's plenty of space for a small family and for hosting guests. —Benjamin Wood

Ready for something new? You'll love this three-bedroom Ranch house that blends all the comforts of modern 2149 living with an old-(pre-historic)-fashioned aesthetic. Part of a new planned community that puts you in walking distance of hospitals and farmers markets. You and your government-mandated two children will finally have room (and air) to breathe. Act fast, this offer may not be around much longer! —Benjamin Wood